Where can I get the strength to leave an abusive relationship?

Stephen K

Only you can find the strength. I can say "find a woman's shelter" or "move in with a friend in another town." but as long as you love this man that treats you like a cat box, then you are doomed before you start.

He DOES NOT LOVE YOU. You have to repeat that every day until it sinks in, for if he truly loved you, he would NEVER treat you like this

Tsunami

you get a friedn to come pick you up and take you to a womens shelter and good luck

Ruffus

Compare the long term pain of staying in the relationship with the short term pain of getting out.

serene e

Look in the phone book for the nearest Women's Shelter or a nan-profit for women who are abused.
They can help with counseling and restraining orders sometimes.

Eric C

wait tell he sleeps and beet and beat him with a frying pan.or just walk away.

Maren S

No, you just have to get up and do it. You will never run out of excuses to stay, so don't bother trying. Just go. Do what's best for you, instead of what's worst.

...

there is a foundation out there for this exact reason...i thinkits caled the womens and childrens something rather...but there is definitly and orginization that houses abused women and children

nickle

There are many battered women's shelters that you can get help from. They take you in, offer you a place to stay under their care. They help you get a job and teach you how to be independent again. The shelters are secure and very private. Enough to where your abuser will not know where you are unless you tell him. I understand this must be very difficult for you but as you probably know already you have to get away, do it for the both of you. He needs to learn how to value as a woman, this could teach him. You need to learn how to be independent, how to be valued, you need to love yourself again, this will teach you. I personally know a woman who had 2 kids with her abuser. She didn't have a job, walked out of her house with her kids in her arms wearing nothing but a night gown. She went to a battered women's shelter that took her in right away. They got her clothes, food, everything that she needed. This all just happened to her two and a half years ago. She made it out, learned to be independent, learned to value and love herself. She just graduated from nursing school as a Registered Nurse 2 weeks ago. You can do this, you will do this. But you have to make that choice. I really hope you can. Take care!

blacksilverado05

just find a job on your own and leave your just call the cops on him, you'll have the house to yourself for a few nights.

Female

Get a friend to help you, tell them you don't want to leave, but know in your heart you have to, and need someone to help you emotional.

chica bonita

call a helpline. go online and i am sure you can like find a phone number and someone you can talk to.

Lunachit

you can make it. i've been there girl! you just have to quit him cold turkey.
start packing your stuff when he isnt around and get it all moved out, then leave. you dont own him any explanations. after that, erase his number, dont answer his calls and have support around. and promise me you're gonna learn how to love yourself. I did and right now I am dating a very sweet guy that treats me the way I feel like i deserve to be treated.

Jo d

The strenth you need cannot be bottled, sold or offered by anyone. It is an internal strenth that only you can tap into. If its fear of the unknown thats holding you back then I can reassure you of one thing.

People start over every day. Its done one step at a time. The first step is you leaving. Your second is not going back. Your third is up to you.

You can do this. You are not alone. You have the abiltiy to fight your fears and beat your way to a new life.

All it takes is that first step...

hmonk7

There is no easy way out, so quit looking for one. You also stopped growing a long time ago. Your life has been at a standstill and will stay that way till you make a change, which means "to leave". You also keep wishing & hoping that he will change, 'not going to happen'. So do yourself a favor and make a plan and follow through before it is to late. You deserve a much better life, so just do it, don't let yourself stand in the way, love(sick) or anything else. You will come to love life again, GO

Bama

You don't have to do it alone. Contact a family member or friend you trust and fell safe with. Let them know what is going on and you are ready to leave.
Before you leave start looking for a job. papers,employment office,etc... while your abuser is gone to work or out. when you find a job tell them you need a week before you start. By this time you should have made plans to stay with the friend or family member when the time comes. Now, you tell your abuser your gone. Have everything packed and ready to go before hand. This way all you have to do is leave. If you feel he will be physical, have police number ready on cell phone or have them to escort you out. Then work on being happy and move on with your life. Don't let him change you mind and go back. hope I could help. good luck

serious

After taking a deep breath, saying a prayer and telling yourself you CAN do it.... just give yourself permission to go. I'm telling you it can be done and I'll give you that last little nudge...now get going. You'll be fine!!

drewxjacobs

You need to find a women's shelter. Most cities have one or more of them because there are a lot of women that find themselves in your situation. It is very hard to take that first step because you are fearful of the unknown - very understandable. But what you must remind yourself of the fact that you are finally going to take control of your life and put this abuser in your past. If you have children, you definitely owe it to them to have a more normal childhood and home life than what they have seen so far.

Call one and take that first step. It's not nearly as scary as you think. Good luck to you.

muzikchyld

ill show you the strength because you already have it your just scared to use it. but you a very strong powerful and beautiful women and if you want out of the situation then it shall be done. its all in you.
money is no reason to stay with him you a very capable of taking care of yourself and you should never let yourself become financially dependent on ANYONE. i dont care if it takes working a mc donalds flipping burgers theres always a way.

Kat

You are definately in a tough situation and I was in that myself and left on four occasions only to come back and go through it all again. It took for me to have a really good friend that I could count on to be there when those feelings of "I should give it another try" came back and they did, telling me about all the bad things and having them repeated so many times and me being reminded so much of it finally made me realize tht I had to do what ever it took to get out and stay out. You need to get a job even if it's waitressing or whatever but first start there and that in and of itself will help you gain confidence in yourself and build upon that you will succeed and feel great in the end not only from getting away from the abuse but you will be able to stand on your own two feet in many ways. Good Luck.

TÄ…rÄ… - *back to basics*

Keep in mind that the reason you have a hard time leaving is because he is making you believe that you're nothing without him, and that's obviously far from the truth. He's planted the seed of doubt in your mind. Pack your things and find a man that will treat you with the love and respect that you know you deserve deep down.

An abusive relationship isn't a relationship at all. Get out before it becomes physical abuse and before it leaves a lasting mark on you. I know that you have that strength inside you somewhere. I'm sure you'll feel great without him weighing you down. Good luck!

Person

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and it took me a REALLY long time to realize it. You don't have to be a weak person to be abused, especially if you love the person. Make a list of all the things that will be better once you leave and think about how important they are to you. Realize that this person is keeping you from happiness and a person that truly loved you would not do this. Reach out to friends, and family if you are close to them. Go to dinner with a friend and tell them what's going on and ask if you can stay with them if you need support/ a place to stay (what I did). It will be okay, and once you are out of the relationship don't let yourself get back in it! Once you are free, you will be able to look back and be satisfied with how much better your life is now. Good luck!

Court

i dont know if you'll like this,

but go to your parents, best friends, anyone that cares and loves you. just try to tell them how you feel, and when you get packed and ready to leave, make sure that they are there to help give you the push you need. and i mean there there. tell them to push you out the door if they have to!

i know you love him, but does your abuser love you? You shouldnt have to call your other "your abuser"

michellegriffin79

Well, the first thing you should do is try to better yourself. So you will be able to take off without any financial worries. You need to think that it could always be worse and also that other women have been in the same, or even worse situations and get out of it. Check local listings for places you can go get some assistance.

Gordon

Only you can decide to stay away for good, but there are plenty of help centres for this kind of thing. Try battered houswives or something like that. It doesn't matter what kind of abuse it is, you need to get away and distance yourself from him. If you move away, take the police with you when you get your things. This will keep him on his best behaviour. Good luck, the longer you stay away from him the better your esteem will heal.

exodous2547

http://www.ndvh.org/
Look at that site. Its the Domestic abuse hotline.
You need to leave.
As hard as it may be, you'll be glad you did later.
Think about how you feel now.
Do you think you'll feel better if you stay even longer.
He will call and say he's sorry, and promise that it will be better.
IT WONT
As much as it hurts , you deserve better.
You WILL find better.
Good luck

vern

Well you've taken the first step.... Wanting to leave.

Check out any local women's shelter or find a friend you can stay with. If he is physically abusive i would go with a local women's shelter. I would leave/Pack up while he is gone to work. He can't stop you or harm you while you are trying to leave.

Their is life after an abusive relationship. Have faith in yourself. YOU CAN DO THIS. Take one step at a time. You will make it through.

God Bless You!

(und!scover Mx.)B>S

Maybe you are not leaving him because you are afraid to work. afraid of having to actually provide for yourself. You just have to get out and find a job. Just swallow your fear and go. Even if you are shaking or about to die of fear dont let it stop you. if this is not the case and you are really ready to leave him get as much money as you can one day when he is not home, pack your valuable things and the most necessary and valuable and go to a motel. then try to find a job like i said do this even if the fear is killing you. you will get through it. Call a person you can trust and tell them to stay with you, protect you, if he is dangerous. Buy mace or pepper spray or a taser or anything to protect you from harm. Try to stay with parents or anybody you can absolutely trust in a place your abuser does not know of. Change your appareance.

Lord Nirmal

Find it within yourself. Stop being angry at yourself, you did nothing wrong. Stop hating yourself, hate him. Nobody deserves this, find somewhere else, friends, family, anyone willing to help, go to a women's shelter if you must.

emily sue

i understand that you may love him, but think of this: if he loved you, would he want to hurt you? talk to your family, and walk over to your mirror, look at yourself, and say "i am beautiful, i am smart, i am strong. i love myself, and i deserve someone who loves me. i can not take this anymore, and i want better" i am sure you are a wonderful woman, and no one deserves to be abused. you need to make up a plan and leave, go to the nearest womans shelter, and think of your next step there. i wish you the best of luck, and i hope that you are okay, and that you know you are a wonderful human being

90s chick

Just understand that so many men out there would treat you like a queen and love you and never ever hurt you. Leave this guy and try staying with your parents for a while. Just get out of the relationship. Even though you love him and he may say he loves you to but anyone who could treat their mate bad doesn't truly love them. You nor any woman should have to take abuse from any man, your better and stronger than that if you realize it or not. Just get out there and find another guy I know it will be hard but I've been in your shoes and I got back up. It will all be ok soon. I will wish for you.

telleki

Reach out to people in your life for help. You shouldn't have to do this alone. Once you're out you can start working on financial part and the more independent you are, the better you'll feel about yourself and less likely that you'll be willing to go back to an abusive situation.

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