Which of us is right?

salsa

I think it depends on what she wants you to change. In a perfect world we are totally happy with someone for the rest of our lives and we married them for who they are, etc, it doesn't really work out like that. Over time we all change anyway and so some things we didn't notice before end up annoying us or hurting us or we develop habits and ideas we didn't have at the start of the relationship. I guess it depends how important your relationship is, one of you will end up making the sacrifice - you change or she accepts whatever it is. Can't really answer who is right without knowing what she wants to change.

Paul&Fran

Why do you have to change? You are who you are and your wife is who she is. If shes not happy with who she married then move on. It's a control thing plain and simple..

Nale

Show her your wedding picture and tell her that this is what she got.

She can't be serious? Why do you have to change? Whats wrong with you now that you two are married? Don't play the game with her, be who you are, trying to change for her (unless you really feel the need) will end up making you bitter and unhappy anyhow. I don't see the point.

She is wrong for asking you to change - unless you have some serious, serious problem thats somehow harmful. But then so are you in a way for entertaining her controlling whims.

BikerChick

Tell her to quit finding fault with you, because she married you they way you ARE, and unless what you are doing or not doing is life threatening or dangerous, you are not there to be molded in to someone you are not.

She should focus on HERSELF and her obvious obsession with "fixing" you, and YOU need to stop making stupid agreements with control freaks. You BOTH are WRONG, neither of you are RIGHT.

kim h

You should not have to change. You are how she married you and you should stay that way.

Brunette wife

Your wife shouldn't expect you to change.

She married you the way you are and if she has a problem with it then she shouldn't have married you in the first place.

Betty M

So if you have your way, you both lose. I think it's time to talk again, because ignoring the problems in your marriage will only end up in divorce.

IQ lady

People change all the time.The difference is that they change because they want to and are happy to.
She can't ask you to change if you don't want to.
It's up to you...Do you feel you are a better person with your changes or are you only doing it so she'll shut up?

marheather

You both need to grow up

iyamacog

What part of you is she gonna "borrow"? Maybe you can have a mutual agreement, whereas you both change something. And if she requests another change, you can make another request as well. Would that work?

happier days

Try the Love Dare.

Irish Witch

Neither of you are right.

She needs to back off and learn to accept you for who you are. Unless the things you need to change are endangering the two of you, you probably don't need to change that much, except for your communication skills.

You need to make a solid effort to make the changes she's asked for already. If it's little things like putting your dishes in the dishwasher, picking up after yourself, stuff like that, then by all means, change!

It sounds like you both need to change in order to make your marriage work.

girly

if you feel you dont need to change then its k..you are who you are eversince she met you...why do you have to change?

but if your attitude is ruining your marriage, then think twice...

MzTerioz

i thin kyou need to show her the door if she dosnt like your efforts.

marina L

talk -talk-talk-have you told her what you want so its not 1 way

Piggy

It's wrong for someone to expect you to change. If you needed changing, why marry you and not someone else?

YEIMI

Let's say you have a worker and that worker has too many defects that he or she makes you look bad in your work environment. Would you accept that person to change one thing at a time with the possibility that you loose your job? Something similar happens to her. Don't try to understand. Once she feels comfortable you will feel comfortable on your relationship too. Now, I am assuming that she's requested you for some things you really do wrong.

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