Who is the selfish one here, myself or my husband?

Poppet

Your being selfish and inconsiderate. You and your husband haven't even had a honeymoon and your running off with the girls. Also, since your newly married you may not know this, but when big decisions need to be made you have to clear that with your spouse. You going out of town with the girls spending money that you were saving for house is a HUGE deal. Ditch the girls....and go on a honeymoon with your husband for your one year anniversary.

abc

you are the selfish one here I'm afraid............BOTH of you have been working to save money and both of you did without a honeymoon.....you JUST have to pay for the plane ticket, food and alcohol and any activities - that'll run at least a $1000 ; your husband is right, you should be spending the money on a honeymoon BEFORE you have a girls week.....

I'm a female too by the way,

stenobrachius

OK, the two of you have scrimped and saved, and denied yourselves vacations together...

Now a vacation for *just you* comes along, where only *one* of many expenses will be paid for. And you go for it.

Hmm, it wouldn't be hard for me to decide who is being selfish.

*D*

whats more important to you, a girls weekend or celebrating your wedding anniversary with your husband? I dont think its an issue of who's being selfish. its more an issue of your priorities.

ndnqt1966

I honestly think you are being the selfish one....You both have been saving money for a house and haven't even got to take a honeymoon yet...How would you feel if your husband decided that he wanted to go on a week trip with all his guy friends and leave you home....and didn't like the idea of you tagging along? If I were you...I would plan a trip with my husband...

The Weasel

I think you should be spending your one year anniversary with your husband. I'd be pretty pissed too. The hotel may be covered but there will be plenty of other expenses. Just look at the list of things you wrote. That's not going to be cheap.

If you have that kind of money to go blow in Vegas with your girls you have enough money to take off for a weekend with your husband.

Kerryy

I think you should have ran the idea of you going with your girl friends by him first before agreeing to go
And you will only have one 1 year anniversary so i think you should spent it with your husband
Share a bedroom to celebrate your anniversary

Liz

Are you sure you want to be married?

Look at it from the other perspective. Your husband comes to you and tells you he and some friends are going on a "guys only" trip to another city. You would say (and rightly so) that he shouldn't be wasting money on this trip, considering that you and him haven't even been able to affort a honeymoon yet, while you and him have been working your butts off trying to save enough money for a house.

Make up your mind if you want to be single with the girls or married and committed to your relationship.

cope_acetic

Actually, I agree with him on this.
What's fair about working both your butts off to pay bills, and then ONE of you getting to blow a wad of cash on some frivolous weekend? ONLY the hotel is free--and the rest will add up. I'd be pissed TOO if my mate blew $500-1000 on himself when we were trying to build a foundation for our marriage.

Skip the weekend, and keep the peace. Its not worth it to cause resentment so soon!

x2000

The deal is that if you want to party with the girls in another city, you should have stayed single.

Bee

I'm sorry...i think you are being the selfish one...You guys are saving to buy a house...all that is being paid for is the hotel...BIG DEAL...do you realize how much everything else is going to cost??? And, you didn't even ask your husband before you told your friends yes. You are married now, you need to discuss things like this with your husband and vice versa.

Save up, go on a simple honeymoon and buy that house...it will mean more to you than a week in Vegas.

Vyctym

I think you seriously need to consider whether or not you love your husband.

I know you'll think I'm mean for saying this, but in his shoes I'd already consider leaving you.

Sandy Ego

Honestly, I would MUCH rather go on a trip with my husband than with my girlfriends. If I could have both, I would do both, but if I only got to pick one it would be a trip with my husband, hands down. I think, this is how your husband expects you to feel, and the fact that you chose your g/f's over him is hurtful.

Me&Hubby&Baby#3

You are newly married for one. I don't think that your freedom should be taken away from you, but you have a husband now. I would NOT be going out on random trips with girlfriends. Those were things that you did when you were a single woman. I am engaged, in my first year of marriage, I do NOT want to leave my husband for some trip, no way. And I wouldn't expect him to leave me to go with the "fellas" out of town. I see if you guys were going to eat or something, butyou are newly married and in this case, I think that you should reconsider. Plus he probably feels bad about not being able to give you your dream honeymoon yet, sometimes you've gotta stroketheir egos just a little... don't do it.

ANDRE L

You. You're the selfish one. You just showed him that you value your girlfriends OVER him and the marriage, since you're doing this over your *1st* anniversary. If I had suggested such a thing to my wife, that I'd be going off with some pals for out 1st anniversary, boy, she would have been plenty displeased, and rightly so.
Take the cash that you'd blow on Vegas, and save it towards a real honeymoon WITH your husband. Tell your g/fs that your marriage comes first, and that they'd better be able to deal with that fact of your chosen life.
Being married means that your gal pals don't come first anymore. If you can't grasp that, then your husband should divorce you, for dishonouring your vows to him.

Queen of Beer

You need to go on your honeymoon before a girlie trip. Get your priorities in order.

Positive vibes

I didn't read the rest of the question. As soon as I see a question like that, I can guess that it is the asker being selfish.

Angel

He got upset for one because you excepted the invite before talking it over with him.
It is always good to communicate with your spouse before you make any concrete plans this is called respecting your partner...

Second he is probably upset because you are trying to save money for a home and he has not been able to take you on a trip just the two of you.. So he maybe thinking you don't want to go on a trip with him...
Talk with him and explain how you feel, and if he wants to go, you should allow him to go to Las Vegas...

Best of Luck

*~*missin u*~*

well, ur trip is the month of ur 1 year anniversary. Thats kinda messed up that u are taking off on ur own instead of planning something with him. Try talkingto him and letting him know that maybe once u come back you guys can plan a tripp for the both of you. Now, as far as him going with u to vegas, why not? At least he shows interest! He wants to spend time with u, nothing wrong with that. Some men will take off to vegas for a week and leave their wife at home and not care! Maybe you guys can even make this vegas tripp a pre honey moon!

Sue B

Your a married woman now. It's time to plan and do things with your man now, not the girls.

Forget the trip with the girls and save to go with hubby. ( make it your honeymoon).

Well, it's supposed to be a "girls trip" right? So yeah, It would kinda ruin the point if he goes. But I think you need to show a bit of compassion towards your husband right now. Think how he may be feeling. He's probably hurt right from the start because you automatically said yes to your friend without talking to him first. You SHOULD have talked to your husband first since it not only involves you going away for a bit, but also money that you both work hard for. You both have plans to buy a house and want to go on a honeymoon. He probably feels like you are taking a "honeymoon" without him. If it were me, no, I would NOT go, because you are trying to save money and no matter what you think, going to Vegas is going to be a big expense, hotel or not. You could take the money you would have used for the trip and plan something with your husband. It would have been better on your part to think of your husbands feelings and decide together if it was a good idea on going to Vegas with your friends before saying yes and making plans. It was a bit selfish of you not to do that. He probably feels left out and hurt that you didn't think of him before making plans like this, because they are big plans, it's not like you were going out for the night or buying a pair of shoes.

Leslie H

Why did u get married? What about communicating with him first? Reverse the situation. How would u had felt. Step back n think about it first without u being mad. What r u really up to in Las Vegas!!!

jude

i would think that u would be happy that your husband is going to come along for the trip and not be angry he is coming too. it also would have been a wise thing to discuss the trip with your husband before making plans.

lulu

"What happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas" Anymore questions?

Kim B

Welp, I certainly see his point....if you haven't had a honeymoon and all your hard earned monies is being used to get out of debt and pay for the honeymoon, I would delay any money endowed plans until after your romantic trip with your hubby. That needs to be priority. Your trip with the girls sounds fabulous but, the timing is not on your side on this one. I know it is a bummer to say no to the Vegas trip but, it isn't no forever.......have your wonderful honeymoon with the man that you love and at a later time, initiate another girls trip out somewhere. Wish you the best of luck!!

Countess

He feels bad because he hasn't been able to take you on a fancy honeymoon, so he's dissing the girl's trip. I can understand why he would want to do the honeymoon first, to make it special.

Although it would be nice to get away, it would be even more fun to use the $$ for your honeymoon. Spend some time planning, figuring out where to go, what to do, etc. Half the fun of a trip is the anticipation. Set a date and work toward it. Even if you wait until your first anniversary in September, it's not that far away and the planning will keep you in a good mood!

Just my thoughts.

KEISHA L

u are my dear.. Before u take a trip with the girls , you need to go out with hubby. If the both of u have been working hard to pay off bills, than both should benefit by going to Vegas. I am on his side with this one. If you go, he has every right to be pissed.. Good luck and make the right decision. Talk to him and tell him you understand his point of view. Tell him you will not go

Nae D

You have to understand that when you are married you have to think about you AND him. When your friend asked you to go on this trip, you should have told her, since this is your anniversary month, you should see if it's okay with your husband first. His first concern was probably about the money that you'll be spending while you're in Vegas. I have to ask if the friends that you're going with, are they single? If so that would be a problem also. You know that phrase "What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas" did that commercial happen to be on when you told him this? Okay all jokes aside, I think this was a bad move because it was your Anniversary month and he probably had something planned and then he thought that maybe if he went it wouldn't be so bad and he'll still be with you on the date that apparently he holds dear to his heart.

civic9497

Well, this might be a little different than the first page of posts that I read, but I think that the only selfish thing that you did was to agree to the trip without at least TALKING about it with your husband. I think that as long as your husband is "ok" with you going then, go for it, just 'cause you are married doesn't mean that you are not entitled to a little bit of independance sometimes. I like his idea of going too and getting a seperate room. You could set something up where you maybe meet up and hook up with him, it might be kinda fun and kinky................lol. Good luck and I hope that you get to go and have some fun WHEREVER it is!

leslewis65

Since this will be the month of your first anniversary, I would have to say that he is justified in being upset. If it was some other time, you deserve to have time away with the girls. But not then.

You would be better off using that same money to go off somewhere, just you and him. Or keep saving for that house, since you have both sacrificed for it.

Now you are taking some of the money you BOTH saved to spend time away from him on what should be a very special time for you both.

Crazy_Fool

I kind of see where your husband is coming from. If you can afford a trip with the girls, Why can't you afford a trip with him?

I don't think that either one of you is being selfish, I just think that you both have different points of view. Remember you both work ALOT. He is also probably offended that you never discussed the invitation with him before accepting.

To be Honest, I am married, and I don't think it would be fair for me to go on a vaction to Vegas without my hubby. It would be different if it was a girls weekend where you ladies went to the lake and got a cabin or something, but Vegas...

Obviously your friends are not married, because after you get married, if you go on trips with others, it is usually other couples.

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