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Happy Mommy of Two
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It seems as if in todays day and age, people put marriage in the same category as dating, "If it doesn't work out, I can just get a divorce." It's disgusting to me. My husband and I have been married for over 5 years (second marriage for both of us) and are both on the same page about the commitment that marriage brings. Both of our first marriages failed due to infidelity by our spouses. After years of trying to work through the cheating, we decided that our spouse wasn't in the marriage at all. Not emotionally, physically or financially. The lack of love on their part was the straw that broke the camels back. When my current husband and I met, we were both very upfront about what we expected from a committed relationship and waited until we BOTH knew that it was what we wanted. I can't speak for him (but I think he agrees :oP), but I'm the happiest I have ever been and it all started with "true love".
It's really sad that a long lasting committed relationship, is out of the norm. I actually feel for those people that just can't stick it out and work through the bad times. A marriage is something you have to work at everyday. All good things come from working hard.
Good luck to you and one day, you'll find a woman that wants exactly what you do. |
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hendrix.jimmy13
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A lot of marriages fail because we live in a disposable society. If anything takes effort to fix or to keep to gether just throw it away and get another one.
It is really very sad! |
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MrsMaryD
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I believe that many people are rushing into marriage for the wrong reasons. There are a lot of "strangers" getting married, and then they are together for a year and can't stand eachother. It's really a shame. I think too many people are skipping the courting stage and getting right to the point.
On the contrary, unfortunately, I do believe that there is some truth in people getting married more and more for financial stability. It's a shame that is what it has come to, but it seems to be a growing trend.
I still have the feeling that you should take a long time to get to know eachother, and then decide on the person. I am seeing much too many cases of "months then marriage" or "got pregnant and got married". It's asking for trouble. |
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Kevin C
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1) Society is more accepting of divorce
2) People go into marriage thinking that if it doesn't work out, they will just get divorced, hence they don't work as hard to make a marriage a good one.
3) People think that marriages are supposed to be all "happily ever after" and don't realize that all marriages have down periods that you have to work through to get back to the good times.
Add those all up and voila, a nice warm batch of high divorce rate stew. |
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Canadian Yummy Mummy
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People in this day want an easy fix. If you think about it, everything in our world is modern, and quick. The only thing that's old fashioned is marriage. Marriage is hard work, it's committment and when done right can be fulfilling but people expect those sweet dreams and romances that they had when they were dating and ignored the bad stuff. Now that they're 'stuck' with the person, they don't know how to deal with it.
I'm with my man 10 yrs, 7 of those are married this coming June 26 and there's no other place I'd rather be, no matter what shortcomings we have, we realize it's a continuous process of work, giving and taking and doing for others without expecting something out of it. |
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A-dub
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I don't think as many people go into a marriage truly believing in the marriage. And believing that "divorce is not an option". I also think that many people think that because a marriage isn't always smooth sailing that it isn't a good marriage.
Marriage is hard work because people are individuals with individual thoughts and emotions no matter how much they love each other. |
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~Baby D~
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I think a lot of marriages are falling apart because of lack of commitment to being married, losing site of why your chose your mate, and not focusing on the family & GOD the way they should.
People are just way to selfish these days. |
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DooWopKid
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Many find the formula & apply it while many others simply miss it. It's a thing called "compromise" |
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luvlisteningtomusic
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It use to be embarrassing to tell people you are divorced however in this day in age it is so acceptable. People leave for all different reasons. If there is no abuse whatsoever in the marriage then the marriage can be saved but most people are not willing to work on it they would rather go out and find someone else and the same thing happens in the relationship as well. |
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Jill
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Everyone is so selfish nowadays. If you look at all the reasons why marriages are ended, it boils down to selfishness on the part of either the husband, wife, or both. Everyone looks for instant gratification in all aspects of life, which means getting married to soon, because they want their dream wedding...not because they want to get married. Or having an affair, because they are infatuated with that person, and are not thinking about the long term consequences or how this is going to affect everyone else around them.
I think its still pretty mixed as far as why people get married. There are definitely still quite a few who do it for love and to grow old with someone. And then there are some who do it for comfort and financial stability. One thing that I have noticed though is how many people my age (I'm 26) who have no intention of getting married and go as far as saying they'll never get married. And sadly these people generally come from divorced parents. |
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Rachel
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I think it comes down to people being more in love with the idea of the wedding then the actual marriage and vows. People are lazy and get bored fast now, they give up and give in too quickly. A simple argument somehow leads to an absolute divorce - it's crazy. And sad. |
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piscio
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because people put more effort into the wedding than they do the actual marriage. after all the celebrations they grow bored with the reality of it. |
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Feythe
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Because we have developed a throw-away culture that expects and demands instant gratification. |
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melly M T
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I dont believe in divorce, so i think that once you marry someone you need to deal with whatever happens and move on. i dont think ending a marriage is ever suppose to be an option unless its an extreme reason, like beatings, or abuse of some sort like that. anything else should be dealt with and marriages should nt just end |
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LindaLoo
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I personally think that if you really boil it down to brass tacks, bottom line, the real underlying problem - I think it's all because of personal selfishness - usually on the part of BOTH people. You can name this thing or that - but at the root is selfishness if you ask me! |
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Elysse
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I think that people today go into marriage with the idea in mind that if it doesn't work out, there is always divorce. Also, our society teaches us that doing selfish things because they make us "complete" is good, even if it means ruining other people's lives. I think that true love is when you accept a person with all of their imperfections and decide that you are going to always stick together, even when things get hard. If you can't be with someone who will love you unconditionally, then it's a waste! Enjoy the kind of love that sacrifices for another, it's great. |
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Emanon
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There are probably several reasons, but I think the biggest one is selfishness. |
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John S
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Because people expect their every need to be met by their mate and expect unrealistic results and are unwilling to see past their paradigms. |
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bethybug
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They are falling apart because of lack of long term committment when the going gets tough....and because they do not put God first. |
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MrsG-2B-6/19/10
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I think one reason is that, marriage isn't seen as an important, or necessary thing nowadays, some people can be in a faithful committed relationship, have children, and live together, but not be married, it's not uncommon. Just because you do (or don't) get married doesn't necessarily mean that it will be forever, or that person will be faithful, I don't think the institution of marriage has lost favor, people are just more opened about it. In the 50's if a woman wasn't married by a certain age something was "wrong" with her, yet today many people get married after they've settled into careers or traveled the globe (or whatever).
I think another thing is the women's liberation movement, they have refused to be tied down by marriage, live on their own, without a man, etc, many in their 30's are children of these women (maybe born out of wedlock) and they saw that their mother was not married and did fine (MAYBE better) then married women. |
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kathyw
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It's easier to get a divorce. People are really into 'instant gratification' and if they don't get it, they are so peeved that they threaten to dissolve the marriage. Makes for a lot of bad feeling. |
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King H
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Anyone getting married for financial or emotional stability is going to be in a shocker. The reality of dealing with someone that you are married to is far more different than having a live in bf/gf. There are a lot of reasons marriages fall apart and any answer would probably be correct. You have immature people that want to live in an ideal world and expect their spouse to do everything for them (or be their mr(s). right) and you have those who are so tied up in being too mature they miss the forest from the trees. I figure once people stop being so selfish divorce rates will decline, but I doubt that ever happens. |
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Southerngirl29
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I married my husband because I love him and he is my best friend. However, i think many people do get married for the wrong reason. Some people just don't like the thought of being alone. Others think it was what they are supposed to do, and others jump into marriage before they even really know the other person. Marriage takes a lot of commitment as well as hard work. When you have problems, you need to sit down and talk them out. Every marriage has problems. My husband and I have faced a lot of adversity in our marriage, but we have managed to work through them. Not once have we threatened to leave one another. Right now, we are having major financial issues, but instead of taking it out on each other, we talk about it and try to come up with a solution. My parents have a wonderful relationship and I learned from them. I think people who are raised in a divorced family do not see how a good marriage is supposed to be. It is sad because usually children get involved. I think there should be some sort of counseling required before a couple actually gets married in order to know what they are getting into. |
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llama765
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Relationship troubles are most often caused by selfishness or laziness. Marry a person who's values you respect and who you would choose as a friend. If you have that and a physical attraction and both partners make equal effort the marriage will be a success. |
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Davion2308
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I think there are many reasons for marriages failing.
1. Kids get married too young and they're not financially or emotionally secure.
2. People get tired of each other.
3. People don't want to work hard for what they want. It's easier to quit.
4. Divorce is easy and doesn't carry the social stigma of the 1950s.
5. Other reasons ad naseum. |
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Lulu
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I believe marriages use to last (back in my Granny's days) because, A: Divorce was taboo. and B: When a couple got married, they were married for life.
Unfortunately, divorce has become morally acceptable in today society and scape goat.
A lot of couples go into marriage expecting never ending bliss. Little do they know it takes a lot of work and compromise to keep a marriage alive. Most important is accepting the others flaws (and they always come out after the "I do's") |
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Melissa Ann
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I would like to say that marriage now days is mainly based on true love, but if I said that, I'd be lying. You know, back in the old days, a man could pick up a piece of grass, and tie it around his girlfriends ring finger as he proposes, and she'd be the happiest person in the world. Now, I know girls that have turned down their guy's proposal just because the ring didn't cost a thousand bucks. People seem to be marrying for the wrong reasons, which is dumb because they just end up hurting themselves and each other. I could go on for hours, so i'll just end it here. lol. |
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melody.gutierrez
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Because we grew up on a society of leave it to beaver and I love lucy reruns that show marriage so peachy. What they don't show you is all the work it takes to make a good marriage last. We want instant gratifacation with no work... when a lot of work is required we just think it wasn't meant to be. A good marriage takes time. |
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Now What?!!
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Some people are getting married for all the wrong reason. The only reason a person should get married is for LOVE. Some people don't know what that word mean. Some people don't have patience. They don't want to fight for their love one. Some people are immature. They want to be married and live life like they are single. It is easy to run away from a problem instead of solving it. The people that have been married 3,4, 5 or more time what is the real problem. Just crazy. |
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Gabrielle due May 1, 2009!!!
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People don't value marriage like they used to. Once things get tough, they bail rather than try to work them out. Sad. |
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