Why are so many people opposed to getting married or having children?

I'm 26 and engaged. I have friends my age that are still out partying and being immature and they tell me they can't imagine getting married "so young." But it's not like I'm 18. I have a bachelors degree and I'm finishing my masters degree in May and beginning my teaching career. My fiance and I will get married in a little over a year, so I'l be 27 when I get married.

While I DO agree it's a good idea to not rush into marriage or kids, and to get your education and whatever else first, it seems like so many people in my generation are completely opposed to the idea of marriage. I hear people my age all the time saying they'd be happy if they never got married, and that they hate kids.

I'm just curious what it is? Is it that they think marriage just "holds you down" and makes you give up who you are and what you love? I mean I guess it could if you're with the wrong person, but my fiance loves and supports me and tells me every day he wants me to continue with my own interests and hobbies and still make time for my friends after being married.

It's funny to remember that a few generations ago, it was common for girls to be married by the time they were 20 or 21. Now, it seems like people don't want to get married at all.

Now, I'm not saying everyone has to get married; if you're happy being single, that's totally fine. But why are so many people in my generation completely opposed to marriage?

Thoughts?

Grace J

I think people in our generation are opposed to marriage and kids because they're a sign of maturity, of taking on adult responsibilities, and of leaving the (extended) adolescent years behind. We as a generation have come to view these signs of adulthood and maturity as burdens, rather than blessings, so we seek to delay them for as long as possible and keep living the "good life". We've been deceived, as adulthood brings much greater joy than the extended adolescent years, but try convincing members of our generation that.

nellina2009

Ok... this is my opinion and only an opinion.
But quite honestly I believe the people at that age group who say they feel they'd be happier not being married and hate children are the people that....
A. have NOT foud that special someone
B. thought they had the special someone and it failed
C. come from divorced families and are scared of their marriages failing too
D. if they have partners, perhaps their partners make them feel marriage is something that "isn't in"... again probably because the person they are currently with is NOT the person they wish to spend their life with
E. A lot of people stay in unhappy relationships because they don't want to start over, meaning why would someone want to marry if they know they wont stay with that person and perhaps they are buying their time for the right person to sweep them off their feet!
F. The stress of organizing and paying for a wedding... it can be very costly and some people want their "ideal" dream wedding, and if you don;t have the budget, then the "dream wedding" could be no more then a pile of stress and debt!

And the children factor.... this all plays a part in the being unsure, and scared, and not with the right person, fear of being left alone to raise a child, expenses, fear of not "living life to it's fullest" etc.
But if you ask ANY person that has had a child who wasnÃ¨t ready... they would say it was the best thing that ever happened to them and they would not trade it in for anything.

The people who are acting like this and saying these things obviously arent ready to grow up... and when the day comes, someday they will see!!!

Congrats on your wedding, I think it is a beautiful and wonderful thing to engage with your partner publicly annoucing and celebrating your love :-)

Mindy B

That's not young at all. That seems like the perfect time to be married. Most people put numbers on things that just shouldn't be having a number. I got married at 18 and I am the happiest ever with my husband and daughter. Sounds to me like your friends are jealous.

Nora C

I am all for marriage and having children, regardless of age.

ragdoll1959

If you two are doing what you want to be doing,I don't see a problem! The only time I don't agree with people getting married is when they are still kids. You are an adult,your brains are fully formed. You have already made a history of good decisions. I say go for it!

ooooooo

I think you are quite old for getting married. I am 25 and been married 5 years all ready and have a child.

The first few years of our marriage all we did was drink, take drugs, club and party. We just did it together. You are getting married not dying.

leslie k

My oldest daughter is 23 and my new husbands oldest daughter is 21. We are newlyweds at ages 46 and 48... both of us are on our 4th marriage. It took us this long to find what true love really is. We have all 4 of our girls living with us, if you were them would you want to get married so easily? The one thing our girls know is our love is stronger and better than any of our previous spouses... our love is very easy to see. My only regret is not having met my new husband before I married the first time.

all of your parents got divorced in the 80s. not yours in particular, but generationally. It became acceptable.

now its your generation's responsibilty to redefine marriage as something that is pure love and happiness, NOT what youre expected to do, what you have to do because youre a girl who cant make enough money on her own, not because you cant get birth control without being married (that was the case in my mom's time in the 60s) not because your religion tells you to....

and all those reasons were also reasons why people got married so young. It is a good thing that more people wait now. You change a lot between 20 and 25. People shouldnt get married then.

27 is fine! Im 32, so Im older than you but not much, and I understand what you are talking about. The first of my close friends to have a baby just had hers last month.

She is 35. But, a lot of my friends are married. Theyre just waiting so they can play and learn as long as possible... to have the most to teach to the next generation :O).

jen_mom2maddy

i was 19 when i got marries now at 22 i have been married for 3 years and have 2 kids

things change the "love bird" feeling isn't as easy to find once you are married and through in the stress of more bills than money, and a couple of screaming kids and you don't get a second alone except when you guys are sleeping,

not that the love you have for your spouse changes, life does and its not just about you and the relationship anymore

marriage itself doesn't really change anything but add a kid or two and its a whole new ball park!!!

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