Why are women too desperate for children as soon as marriage?

SylvanD

The drive to have children is different for different women. Sometimes it comes from the woman herself: she may want to have children at a younger age, or she may have a plan for when she wants her children and she becomes upset if it does not work out right away.

Sometimes there is external pressure to have children. Unfortunately, you are only around sometimes. You don't know whether all of her/your friends and relatives keeping asking when there will be children. I know my in-laws keep pressuring my husband and I to have kids and we have no plans to do so any time soon, but hearing about it all the time can be overwhelming.

In your case, she may be missing you and having your child will keep her busy and also let her have part of you near all the time. Your wife is also grieving lost babies. For her, her miscarriages may make her feel she has failed at something very important. This can definitely impact your marriage. She needs your support because she is hurting and she is afraid that she will not be able to have children after all. She may be feeling your absence more than ever as well and her accusations to you are how she is expressing her sorrow. You need to be there for her (emotionally if not physically) so she can get through this...then, you can try again.

If possible, the two of you may want to reconsider your living arrangements. It sounds like it's really tough for the two of you.

what are you

Its what they was taught as children . All little girls play with dolls . They pretend to feed them change there diapers and so on . Little boys play baseball football action figures that destroy the enemy .

charlie

I have been married for 6 years and we are just now pregnant with our first.
All women are not the same, some want kids and some don't, some prefer to wait.

Dudy

may be friends of her age are having kids which is making her feel unsecure. On top of that 2 miscarriages has made her to believe she wdnt b able to give birth to child. stay in india for a longer time the next time u visit so that it gives her a feeling of security. Probably ur or her relatives may be asking whats wrong with marriage life..

jazalajubail

May be u r thinking is one of the reasons because her mentality at presence u only know the better. But becoming mother is the first priority of the Indian women. She feels she is complete by becoming mother. Together u can convince each other. or Go otherwise. Tell her I m arranging to take you abroad for visit. So to avoid any problem we will go only two. When we will return from abroad then we will have a child. This plan can work for two or three years. But sure she will get convinced. And for you telling abroad is very easy as u your self is living abroad.

Curious G

Its society. It's the way they're raised. If a woman gets married and wants to wait, then she's thought of as weird. If she's trying n not conceiving within the first yr, society will mock her, saying she has fertility problems. Women, and men are raised to believe that they MUST have kids within a year of marriage, or there must be something wrong with them. Women especially are taught to believe that there destiny in life is to be a perfect wife n mother...that's the goal. Plus, if ur a mom, usually men are a bit more understanding, so then u'll be busy with the baby, and men will be ok if u don't dote on them right away, they're busy, plus, if they don't look their best always, u'll understand. And ur finances are locked in when the kid is there....so are u. My ex MIL told me to have her son's child so he'll love me! I just wanted to wait two years so I can feel comfortable n confident about having a child when god chooses to give me one. she thought it outrageous! I still stand by that decision simply because I want to raise my kids better than instinct alone will afford me. Plus, I want to b a happy mom, n for that, I need to b secure. All points gone unnoticed by ex MIL. Oh, also, if a woman fails to get pregnant, she is also blamed for not being good enough in bed. If ur hubby were into u, then u'd have a child, they'd say. He wouldn't leave u, and ud have a baby by now. See, it all comes down to the woman. I got in trouble for wanting to wait since it's up to god n not me. But he was the one using protection, not me! If I did wait, I'd do it naturally, so even if god decided to give me a kid, I'd be ok. U need to stand by ur wife, calm her down, pray to god for a healthy child, and stand up for her when relatives n others chastise her for not bringing forth a child.

My ex SIL was in ur situation, seeing her hubby on occasion while he was in the states, n she was upset god didnt bless them with a child. They were married two yrs when she went abroad.

redhead27

first off, don't you think it would be wise to raise a child in a 2 parent household?

Honestly... if your only around 3 months of the year, that means she will be raising this baby on her own... and you as her husband, should be concerned about the care your child will be receiving from only 1 parent for a majority of the year.

I highly suggest you don't have babies until you can committ to more time with her and the future baby.

cutie pie

i think its her biological clock...i totally understand what you mean...its like all the indians have a baby within the first year of marriage...even if they dont love each other...its crazy i tell you....

Alok

She is worried about her security and that she would get it only by having child. It will convert your relationship into strong relationship once she get the baby or the next reason would she is very attached to the babies and not she want her own.

Thanks

ALOK PRABHAKAR

raspberryph

same reason women are in such a rush to get married... a lot of them want that little all-american family image, the sad thing is they rush into it, dont even know who they are married to half the time well enough, and end up in a crappy marriage. tell her you aren't ready. and she should respect that..

mssanu s

Getting a child after marriage is one of the culture

Huero

people have a biological clock meaning its there instinces as a animal which we all are to reproduce

Hyderabad C

Some women are insecure and think that a child will cement their marriage. Some women have mothers ando ther relatives who say the wife is not doing her duty without being a mother.

Others just naturally seem to have 'baby lust' - they want children so badly they might do ANYthing to have one...

Boozekiss B

so they can quit working and have an excuse to get fat and b*tchy. I don't ever want kids, seem like a real hassle.

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