Why can’t my ex-husband, family and friends just accept that I don’t want to be a part of my daughter's life?

*Lee*D*

I think that too most people women are not normally the ones to walk away from their children, I cant say i agree with your feelings as i have a son that i would not change for all the world despite what eva other issues i may have..
BUT
i respect your right to have your own feelings and i think that you were honest enough about them to start off with...

I dont know how to advise except to say that they will surely neva really understand it and that you may have to accept that this will be the case for eva.. you may have to face the fact that your family and friends dont want anything to do with you, kind of like "you made your bed now lie in it" (sorry) and will have to try make peace with it in your heart as best you can...

As i said, i dont get it personally but i wish you the best of luck in your future..

phorwanted

If you don't want to see her quit delivering the damn dogs. Give them to him to keep or keep them yourself...shared custody of dogs, hogwash! You have the right to live your life as you choose provided you are self sufficient. After zero contact via the dog delivery system you may feel differently about seeing her.

silverlock1974

I'm hoping this is a sick joke. You're seriously asking people to understand that you don't want to be responsible for a child that you brought into this world (apparently someone twisted your arm), yet you maintain contact with an ex to share custody of five dogs?

If you are serious, read the last question you wrote; read the last to words, then think on it. It's not about you. It's about your child. You made decisions as an adult, and you're not following through by accepting responsibility. Your child didn't have any choices, and didn't ask to be here. She deserves more than the dogs, I'd say.

I'm still hoping you're just trying to get a rise out of strangers online....

Cheri >^.^<

Some people are not born with the capacity to love. Your child did not ask to be born, you did that! You have the right to choose not to be involved in your childs life however your child has a right to know her mother. You want her to know you as a cold and uncaring person who only drops off the dogs at visitation, and you have to ask why your family can't be happy for you...they wonder where they went wrong and how you turned out to be so cold. It's sad really that you can drop off your 5 dogs that you share custody over but you gave birth to this child that you have nothing for. Do her a favor and stay out of her life, give up the dogs to your ex and stop rubbing her nose in the fact you don't care! Hopefully she will have the love of her father to pull her through life.

pappysgotitgoinon

If you can't handle truth, then stop reading this post NOW. I find it very funny that if a man were in your shoes, then allot of these people siding with you would be all over him. Also I find it most disturbing that you will share the DOGS but not your own child. Believe me, when this little girl grows to the point where you will want to be part of her life,(and you will) it will be too late. The fact that she will absolutely hate you will be nobodies fault but yours. Even IF she was an accident, you were 1/2 responsible for her. I personally feel that you are not worthy of her in any way and she is far better off without you. You family is right as any normal person would agree. The only suggestion that I would give you is that if you really and truly want nothing to do with this little gift from heaven, then dissapear and stay completely away from her! (and the damn dogs too!)

Pedro the lawnboy

Happy for you? What about the child that has a mother that doesn't want it? I read all of that, and I understand that you never wanted to have kids. Well, guess what? You did. You could have ended that pregnancy, but you didn't. Now you have the responsibility to that child to either stay completely out of her life or raise her like any normal person would.

I have to say that I'm absolutely dumbfounded at this statement: "I see my daughter about four times a month when dropping off the 5 dogs we share custody over." How can you be so loving to 5 dogs...that you share custody over, and can't spare 5 minutes for a child that YOU helped to create? Get off your self-riteous, self-absorbed, self-pity, and a whole bunch of other things about you horse, and own up to the fact that your daughter (as you call her) is a living human being that you are permanently damaging due to your selfish behavior.

Nothing pisses me off more than some self-obsessed parent who cares nothing for their children, yet uses the child to attract attention to themselves. Grow the f up.

lonnyl_99

YOU may not want to be a part of your daughter's life. But Grandma and Grandpa, Aunts and Uncles DO. You simply need to arrange for your Ex-Husband to share the custody with your family instead of you. They all obviously love this child very much.

As a Man, I do not understand how you can feel this way and I am sure the women understand it even less than I.

Lonny

misstth

Hi I try to understand your point of view but surely you could've come to a better arrangement than the one you now have. The thing that seems particularly disturbing to me is that you see her when you drop off the 5 dogs you have joint custody over, hows it for her when she is older enough to realise that her own mother cared more about her dogs than her child, if you dont want her to be a part of your life you should not see her at all, so she can get on with hers.

Elaine H

Okay, so, you had this child because your ex-husband and yourself ultimately decided to have her. This is the same situation that my friend a few years ago had to deal with. Her mother signed over all parental rights to her father. I cannot tell you how incredibly bitter she is towards her mother. She hates her with a passion, and she is so lost and alone because of that. She feels as if her mother sold her off because she didn't love her. Maybe that's true, but its still wildly inappropriate to not have any contact with your child. It is shameful, and no matter how you live your life now, you will always have this little girl wanting you to be in her life. She needs support from her father and her mother. I am truly sorry that you felt pressured to have this child. You know that you never wanted children, and from the sound of it, you probably never should have. This is not about you. This is about a little child, an innocent person in the world who really needs your love and support. You dont want another angry, bitter person in the world, a person who has years of feeling empty and so alone inside. That's a terrible feeling, one that I have experienced.

I'm also sure that you're family is happy that you've moved on and are doing so well, but a child is a major life choice. The only person that controls you is you. Now is the time to step up to the plate and be there for your daughter, whether or not you want to be. I am telling you all of this because there are too many sad, lonely, and angry people in this world that grew up w/o loving support from both parents. I really hope that you take my advice into consideration and I also hope that you will someday see that loving and supporting your daughter is the best thing you could have ever done with your life.

waterlover

You have 5 fur kids and one of flesh and blood.I'll take my Daughters anytime over my dogs but I do Love my dogs alot.You can always get another dog may not be same dog but you can never replace a Child.

Divie

You are one selfish woman. Your child is better off without you. At least animals have maternal instincts. I pity you when you grow old, without any family to care about you and love you.

jaded

thank you, dog lover, for sharing. to think there is a 3 year old innocent baby out there who watches mommy come and get the dogs and leave her behind. i am going to go throw up now and i thought the people who posted their fantasies of disgusting,, perverted acts were the worst people who asked questions in this category.

Ade

The internet will probably overload from all the responses you'll probably get from this post. Here's my two cents.

My mother never wanted children, so she had five. Every last one of us is fuked up beyond repair. I don't want children either and I'm in my 30's.

If you don't want her, stay out of her life. For real. She'll know and grow up irreparable.

Actually, I admire your truthfulness. If this post is the truth.

Just to be safe, don't see a doctor, see a therapist just to make sure it's not some issue you have.

I have to wonder if your mom who "loves kids" didn't do a number on you.

â™ªâ™«â™ªGinnyâ™ªâ™«â™ª

You must feel like **** if you are looking for acceptance from strangers on-line. You posted this Q 3 times already... your upset your mother has disowned you? That's odd considering that's EXACTLY what you did to your daughter.

tencar

i can see why you didn't want kids, its hard to share your love with anyone besides yourself, its a shame your mother didn't have the same attitude. i'm not a biblehead at all but you are going to be one lonely witch in later life

You ask, I answer

you can share custody of 5 DOGS, but can't share custody of the poor child!?!?!?! thank god! i hope that she grows up to be a great girl, and finds you and slaps you a good one! that is shameful! i know that some women don't feel the "motherly instinct", but you are too cold-hearted for words.

that poor child.

kim t

Wow, your own flesh and blood, you have no idea what you are doing!!!

sunny

What? I try not to be too judgemental about people; God will do that in his own time. But being a mother myself it is very difficult for me to have any sympathy for you. I thank God everyday for my two kids - neither one was not planned, but I immediately bonded with them once I found out I was pregnant with them. They are truly a blessing from God - they bring me joy and happiness everyday. Yes, I understand some mothers are unfit due to drugs, alcohol, abuse, whatever the case may be. I understand they have problems and need help in order to be better mothers. But you willingly and consciously gave up your daughter - you don't have any problems except for the fact that you are missing out on the most wonderful part of life - a child. You have failed to enjoy the ups and downs of having the most precious gem of all - your daughter. How did you make it through your pregnancy? Didn't you feel some kind of bond with her? I'm sorry if I'm sounding too harsh, but this really has my blood boiling. I feel the same way about men giving up their rights to children - they disgust me as well. What do you think your daughter will think or say to you 10, 15, or 20 years down the road when she finally figures out that her own mother cared more for the 5 dogs than her? Dogs can be replaced, children can't! I pray that God will take care of your daughter and help her to grow up with people that love her and help her to grow into a happy and loving individual. She deserves to have all the best that life can give her.
I pray that God will forgive you for what you have done.

janetrmi

Just because you are not mother material doesn't mean you have the right to abandon your child. I feel so badly for this child, because she will grow up knowing her mother didn't want her and wants nothing to do with her.

Children are a gift from God and you have rejected this gift from God. I pity you, because you have no idea what you have done. You have let your selfishness and happiness take priority over your child.

I urge you to turn your life over to the Lord. Pray for Him to fill your heart with love for your child and he will honor your prayers.

im done

ur sick. u want to see your dogs u share custody over but u dont want to see ur baby? i understand u didn't want kids but guess what u had one. how unfair and selfish u are. u obviously didn't take enough precautions not to get pregnant. if i were ur husband i would have a real hard time dealing with u and dogs. and what kind of judge would allow this behavior. just think what that poor little girl has to live with. her "mommy" picks the dogs up to play with them but won't pick her up to play with her. u need help maam. if u signed parental rights away, u should have signed owner rights awy on those damn dogs. i like dogs and all but ur messed up.

wc2ketey

There is no excuse in the world for not wanting to be involved in your daughter's life. She was a gift from God. You are truly a selfish individual. And I feel terrible for your child.

kystarlyte_kystarlight

It's sad to know that you think more of 5 DOGS than you do of an innocent child who didn't ask to brought into this world. GOD gave that child for a reason, despite all of your efforts to not get pregnant.

I'm happy for you in as much as your career is going well, but in the long run you will be punished in some way, shape, form, or fashion for what you are doing to that child.

My mother threw me out when I was 1 1/2 yrs old and told my daddy she didn't want to be bothered with me, but when she died, I was with her when she took her last breath.

Your family can't understand why your are so cold hearted. What happened to you that would make you think more of dogs than human beings? Are you even from this planet?

May GOD have mercy on your soul!!!!

dragon

Wow, you are one %ucked up individual. What does your new boyfriend think of your heartlessness?

pooh_and_booboo

wow, im tryin to see things from your perspective but i cant shove my head that far up my ***

Bethy4

As humans we make choices and unlike the animal kingdom, other humans tend to judge. Your choice not to be in your daughter's life is just that your choice, fathers walk out of their children's lives everyday and not an eyebrow goes up, but let a woman do it all heck breaks loose. I could never have made such a choice, but then again it wasn't mine to make. I am sure you love your daughter and love comes in many forms, you continue your life as you see to live it, and no one has to live it but you. God Bless.

drama

You don't care for your daughter, but you care if they are not happy for you. Hmm!

texas tornado

I'm still getting over the fact that you share custody with 'DOGS' but not with daughter. What a loser.

Educator

Any female who does not have "mother instincts " which is present in worst of the worst animals is by any standard NOT normal. Somewhere between screwed up and mentally ill.

You may think you are normal --as many people who are mentally sick do that ..their sickness actually "convinces" them they are ok .. while they keep hurting people around them ..
I give alot of credit to your husband who saved the baby....
you need to address your 'problems" with some good psychologists/psychiatrists asap..

If you continue want to live the way you are then I have news for you .... you will end up with peopel more selfish than ....imagine if your parents abandoned you when you were a baby...you would not be here today ...

Oh well - get help soon !

wind m

You can just ignore them. You see, selfish people (your folks) find it hard to to see and to understand the selfishness of others (you). But then they're just trying to speak up for an innocent daughter of yours.
I think you should show care to your daughter as a person if you can't as a daughter. Have you ever thought of how you would feel when you would be an invalid and you needed someone to take care of you and no one would? Then you would harp about your child to be taking care of her mom and she won't coz she has her own life to live, especially being happy with her boyfriend. I guess you don't consider those things coz you're healthy. But no one stays healthy forever.

GramsMel

WOW....man I have read some pretty ugly stuff but this takes the cake. Did you ever think that maybe she didn't want a selfish, self-centered, ego ridden woman for a mother. But she is stuck with you. Have you considered what you are doing to her mentally..oopp's... forgot..you don't care. Sounds like to me you are considering only your feeling.. but it's ok.. you have only one person to answer to... and he already knows. Good Luck when you face him.

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