Why do I often look at (check out) attractive women, even in front of my wife with a low self-image.?

zappafan

Maybe because you are an inconsiderate low-life ...

Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas

DNA
Survival of the Fittest...
Greed...
Human Instinct
No matter what it is called...

Sometimes having the best thing in life, you will still want more.

An example?
Is there anyone who thinks he/she has enough money?
No, most always want more.
No matter if they are millionaires, billionaires, we as humans always crave for more.

Another relavant example?

When you drive in you own car, you will still check out other luxurious cars on the road. Sometimes you just wish you have them, or just look for the sake of looking.

BINGO!

Looking for the sake of looking. No harm done

evilwhalen2000

its only natural to look at someone that is attractive. but, if you know it bothers your wife, dont do it in front of her. let her know how beautiful she is... it would make her day...

xxifeelbeautifulxx

This is human nature, not matter how hard it is for some people to understand. Just do your best not to do it in front of your wife. It really hurts our feelings. As long as you are not acting on anything or wanting to, a look is just a look.

Lil'MissThang

i think it is in a man's nature to look...but you can go to far with it...and it is extremely disrespectful...when my husband gets to doin it a lot I'll start checkin out other men in front of him even the not so cute ones just to let him know how it feels...occasionally is ok but it shouldn't be an all day everyday type of thing

Kari R

I have no idea why you would do something like that. If your wife has a low self image, you should try to make her feel better, not worse. Be sensitive to her feelings.

L!LO

I'm just thankful that you're NOT my husband.... =)

guitar lover

Dude, dont worry about it. It happens were guys we never stop looking at women, its just how were made. Well never feel like its over but sometimes it is just try to avoid im sure your wife is hot enough for you to marry her so just remember that.

Because you are not sensitive to her needs. It's ok to check out and not touch when she isn't with you but when she is you need to make her the focus of your attention.

CROSS-EYED PENGUIN

Have you even considered that you are the one giving her a low self image? Man, that would make anyone think they didn't measure up. Be a man and put your wife first and think of her feelings.

cfoster001

If you do that in front of your wife or when your wife is watching you, it means you are not respecting your wife by doing that.

How much do you appreciate her for who she is or how she looks? Do you compliment her often or are you too busy looking away.

What you can do as her husband is help her build up her self-image, buy complimenting her about how she looks or if she is wearing a new blouse, pants, dress, her cooking, etc....your wife needs to hear those things and needs to feel loved and appreciated. If you want to hear it from her, then you start telling her back.

You married her, so now help her feel special and loved.....and start looking at her instead of other women. She should be the one you look at the most.

nzstarrz

well it doesn't sound like your doing it on accident, don't know why you do, obviously when you do, she notices and doesn't feel good about it, but you do do it for a reason, probably because she makes such a big deal about it. but you're with her, so you love her and want to be with her..............it isn't so cut and dry is it....................tis difficult this life we share with others and their insecurities isn't it...............and our own.....

momof3

Because you want what you can't have...

Jill M

Okay, I cannot say why especially if you cannot say why. To counteract your disrespectful ogling you may point out that you look at everyone (male/female, attractive./unattractive) and are not checking anyone out. Maybe compliment her or tell her they have nothing on her or that the outfit they have on would look fabulous on her. She may not buy it, especially if she has a low self-image. Basically she is responsible for her self-image and not you, just as you and no one else is responsible for your disrespect (however unintentional) of checking out attractive women while with your wife. But it never hurts to tell her how attractive you find her even if it is just by letting her catch you checking her out - make sure you have a look of appreciation, desire, love or admiration on your face though.

My husband does the same thing and it really annoys me, but I turned it into a game of trying to point them out to him before he sees them that way I fool myself into thinking he is just looking because I mentioned it and not because he wants to. I did start the number rating system but sometimes I feel better when he rates a hottie as only 8 and sometimes I feel worse thinking if she is an 8 then what am I? so watch out for this trap. Maybe you can turn it around and point out men to her if you are secure enough in your masculinity to ask if she finds that man attractive and let her know she is attractive enough to have him if she wanted.

To give my husband credit he did start turning his head away whenever any female came into his line of vision, but this just made me feel worse.

Dino

Okay, you are a human male, so you are going to notice. However, DO NOT POINT THEM OUT TO YOUR WIFE. When she's with you, don't even notice. You love this woman, so pay her a huge compliment and go blind when she's with you. Try complementing her as often as possible (be sincere), but never, NEVER let her see you checking out another. Why? Because you love her. This should have nothing to do with you at all.

If you want to help her further then go to counseling with her. If she asks why you two are going, tell her it's preventative maintenance. Let her do most of the talking, and eventually she may begin to feel much better about herself.

Hang in there!

brneyedgirl

If her self image is that low get her in to counseling. Most women including myself find there husbands oogoling harmless. Believe me we do it too!!

donna_honeycutt47

When you look at other women, it all depends on HOW you are looking. It is Normal for men to look at attractive women but to Linger to long with that look is treading on dangerous grounds. Yes when you do that you are probably making your wife feel unattractive.

axix9

You looking at other women, comes from you! Not from your wife.. Yes, a low self esteem can contribute to your feelings towards her, but look at it this way, if your wife did it to you, how would you feel? Do you tell her she's attractive? That she means the world to you? She is your WIFE, you should be doing everything possible to help her through this. Go and get her a manicure or treat her to a day at a health spa. Maybe some couple counselling would benefit you both. Your a brave man asking this question!! Hope you don't get attacked too much.. :-)

kat_luvr2003

your disrespectful, and feel you can get away with it

joyceeleann

Human nature

Loathing

because your an inconsiderate ******

/*/*/ if you knew that when you got with her... why did you get with her in the first place?

bigdaddyslayer2000

your a man

kitkat

Because you are selfish and only think of yourself.....

Common Sense

All men do it but sounds like you should be more
discrete about it...

lyndsyherard

If this is an issue and you want to try and make her feel better you need to stop looking at these other women. Maybe you are used to it and dont even realize what you are doing. You need to be more conscience of your action and try harder to stop letting you eyes stray. Maybe your wives self-esteem would not be so low is she saw that when a beautiful woman walked by you were still only interested in looking at her.

You also need to be truthful with her. Tell her that you don't realize that you are doing it and that you really are going to try your hardest to stop. Tell her that she is beautiful whether she believes it or not and make her feel beautiful all the time, but showing you interest in her and not in these other women.

Vegas

Seems like you have little to no respect for your wife.

moonrose777

Because you are a selfish pig. I hope she kicks you to the curb.

msrodriguez

First of all this hasnot been something new with you. Men are pretty routinal with some things. The fact that you look at other women attractive while your wife has low self esteem may be that you have put her in this head space already. You are putting her in it deeper and deeper . Now think of this what if she stopped looking at you then another man. Men can dish it but donot deal with rejection well. It is natural for men to look. If they didnot they would not survive on earth. If your wife is so unattractive to you then why dont you buy her something you would like to see her in or take her out and give her some roses . Reinvent the bedroom. You may be boring to her and unattractive to her to. She ought to check you right then and there about your disrespect. Your wife is someones daughter also a human being. Think of your wife in something you look at those women in then look in the mirror and ask her what she sees in you . She may be disguisted .. Hurts doesnt it.

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