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Why do I stay in this marriage?
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Why do I stay in this marriage?

well i was happy, now well I am so depressed because How can I stay in a marriage when he treats me bad! about 15minutes ago he hit me in the head!!! why do I stay?? I did nothing to him he just comes home from spending the day with his brothers and a friend who they were at his house drinking, and he comes in saying nice little words he says to me! I never tell him nothing, but i am getting tired of being his punching bag and it's getting very old! So i ask my self why I stay with him, and i don't know!!!!! And yes it hurt when he hit me but i will not let him see me cry so i decided to blow some steam and ask why?


    




DreamCat
I can only talk to you: you must make your own decisions. I came across a wife-beater just once; late one night after work at the hotel. He was so stoned and blind drunk that he thought I was the man who was in love with his wife - and it was his wife and her friend that called the police when he jumped out of his car and started punching me in blind rage, whilst I was trying to rationalise and make him see reason.
I wasn't hurt badly, but when the police spoke to me at the hospital once I had been checked over, I was told that they'd had another call and this time it was the wife who'd been beaten, and it wasn't the first time either. I'm sorry that you find yourself with such a man and I know that I wouldn't stay if I were you, but equally, I'm not you...


ipodtouch555awesome
Rating
u should get a divorce and find someone better and nicer


Iris
Rating
because he has some sort of control over you (money wise, you crave love). you need to leave. you are scared. perhaps your friends can make you stronger.


Sanjay
Rating
Get the hell out of that marriage. The fact that you are asking whether why you should stay makes you a complete bimbo. Seriously, he hits you in the head and you ask if you should stay?????? Seriously, leave the house.....NOW! Or, lock yourself in a room where he can`t get in and call 911.

EDIT: And this post goes to k123 as well.


Mista-J
love and respect yourself enough to get out. to not let any man hit you.


Lance
well you arent the only one. im a guy but i have been beaten mentally by girls in the past and it still haunts me why i put up with it. if i were you id leave now. dont make the mistakes i did with putting up with more beatings.


k123.
my boyfriend gets physical with me.. ill leave him ssomeday once im strong enough..
you need to leave him now.


Marine Wife
Most women stay cause they think it'll never happen again cause they usually promise it wont but it does! He needs help, he needs to go to a Dr. or anyone who can help him. I'd move out and tell him you're staying out till he gets the help he needs.

Good luck


Paul
Rating
Just a guess - but you are afraid of an uncertain future without him. Of course, I and everyone here will advise you to leave him, because he is abusive, but the defining moment will be when you decide to take your life back and fight for it. Never be a victim...you are in charge of your life and who participates in it.


Hani
Rating
He needs help managing his anger otherwise you will be his permanent punching bag. Do you want that? Leave for your safety. Go see a doctor for the injury he has inflicted on you and make a police report, don't wait until it is too late.


zerothehero1
Im a guy and my live-in girlfriend of 8 years used to do the same thing, go out with her friends , get drunk and come home and become violent toward me and verbally abusive towards her own kids. I too tolerated it and thought it would get better if i ignored it but it kept getting worse. I finally got the balls to tell her i was splitting. I didnt deserve this treatment. She didnt think i would do it but i did, which opened her eyes. After i left she sought counseling and now a year later is doing much better, we still talk and although i love her very much i had to love myself first. I guess i was lucky, she sought help on her own after she knew i was leaving her. Im willing to be with her again but i told her she can never go back to her old ways and she agrees completely.


:)
Rating
dont let ANY guy treat you like that
no one deserves it.

divorce that loser

theres SOOO many good guys out there


Quinton G
Rating
idk u crazy i say u get a lawer and su him 4 him hetind u and get a over with


cubsfan2154
Because your scared to leave. He will probably apologize and you will say "ok, he wont do it again". But your probably afraid of what will happen if you leave. You should read a book called Breathing Underwater, its a book about a guy who hits its girlfriend and how she stays with him


Freddie Mercury lover.
Oh you already know what to do.. You already know he's a coward.. You already know to get out of this marriage.

Alcohol is a bad thing when used in an excessive manner. He has no business to put his hand on you in a hurtful way the nerve of him to think he has the right to hit you.

Who does he think he is ?? Get out before you end up killing him or he ends up killing you.. It will not get better. It gets worse.


Mr.Danish
Because naturally you're afraid, and that's ok. You loved him once and now he may be someone completely different. Is any of this your fault? No. Never does any of our actions merit being a punching bag from our spouse. I can't tell you what to do but my serious advice is to re-evaluate your life and set the priorities you want. Happiness can only be achieved by your choices. If you continue down this road he may get worse and more violent. Just know that you can be brave, that you are strong and you don't deserve this.


Carito
Rating
If he already hits you the relationship is not going to get any better, instead is going to get worst! There is not an excuse or reason why a man could or should hit a woman, when this type of behavior starts on any type of relationship the respect is gone and hard to regain. Hopes that it'll get better, will not make it better. Walk away before he could really hurt. One who loves another, the thought of abuse does not even exist in their thoughts and actions.


ubu
Don't know why other than you are afraid of the next step. Self defense classes are available. Call the police..............


wicked
The fact of the matter is it is never easy to leave an abusive relationship but I also agree with some of the other answers the only person stopping u from leaving is you . Even if you do not get a divorce he definitely needs a wake up call. The main thing I would advise is if and God willing when you decide to leave do it when he is not there or make sure you have major back up. We seem to need to confront our abusers but when you are leaving is not the time . Play it safe he has already shown a tendency to be violent and that can escalate quickly.


Nancy M.
Rating
Your husband most likely hit you because he was drunk. The reason that you stay is probably because you can always come up with an excuse for staying with him and putting up with him. I was married to a man who always abused me mentally for years and I always had an excuse for staying with him. I knew that he would never change and if I ever wanted a better life for myself then I was the one who had to make the changes. I am now divorced.


sharlovesnature
If you are just blowing steam- why ask why? My guess to your question is that you have a low self-esteem. It's up to you- be the punching bag or stand up for yourself. Call the police next time- file a protective order- and then take this poor excuse of a husband to court. It's called a divorce and it couldn't be sooner.


Dante Reflextra
what did he used to be like in the past long away from how he treating you now? there is a resone for everything... is he a bad drinker? that might be the problem if not then he should be locked Up or you should split Up with him..it is hard to make a decsion about this if you really love him but if he cant change you should quit while your ahead and leave him,,, what he has done is a coward thing.


robnewstrand
Maybe you want the love and respect that he can't give you. You should get away and move somewhere else, if possible. If you need to, move back with your parents for awhile (given they let you do that). He wants something you can't give him or he's just angry and has some guilt in his life. You may need to get out of the marriage, unless he is miraculously changed by the One who can change him and you. Hope this helps. I'd hate for a marriage to break up. If there's no alternative, then divorce him. Look online for help or for a verse in the Bible.


Rx4u
You need to get a game plan together for yourself. You can't go on like this. You don't talk to him or tell him things because it will cause him to go off.... So there you are taking whatever he decides to dish out on you. You absolutely don't deserve this. No wonder your depressed, because the mental part is just as bad as the physical. Be aware, that he could really, really hurt you one day and permantly harm you physically. You have scars now and he is just going to make lots of new ones, ones you can't see- but they will begin to show all the time through your eyes when someone looks at you.
Please think about what other options you may have. You are staying there because you still love him on some level-don't expect others to understand. But you are going to have to get out to save yourself. Make a plan to start over with the help of family. You need them now. There are worse things than being alone.


purple_rose1465
hi well let me tell you he has brought your selfesteme down so low til you don't think you can do know better and you are afraid of him but if he is hitting you so hard its making you cry than if don't get out it could and will get worse get help their are battered women shelters that will help you good luck because if he hits you once he will hit you again


Grandma6
Good question. My first husband didn't even hit me but it still got to the point where I was asking that question. Looking back at it I realized several things were the main reasons. I was scared of being alone. I was mortified that I'd failed to make the marriage work (and it was not my fault, he was screwing around). I had no self-esteem and no ego. I didn't feel like I could be anything if I wasn't his wife. It took me a year to finally come to the point where I had to admit that I was better off alone then with him. I've lived 56 years now and that was the very worst one. It has been all up from there though. I went to tech school and got some training. I got a job that I still hold and love. I found a man that is the sweetest thing alive and I had another child who is just like his daddy.
Especially if he's hitting you, file a complaint with the police and GET OUT NOW! Your life will be better for it.
Good Luck with your future.


sunbeam
Rating
If I were you I would report him to the police. Your life is only going to get worse, he is not going to change and he may end up killing you if you don't get help. I will pray for your safety.


amare
Talk to your family/friends and get some help from them and move the hell out! Divorce him ASAP! He will only continue to abuse you!


Lucy
Rating
yes why do you stay in the Marriage no one deserves to be hit by a man do you have any where you can go please dont stay in an abusive relationship you wont be Happy





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