Why do my parnts blame me?

emmiegsmom

You should be happy that you have parents that give a crap where you are and what your doing. I do understand what you mean though. Talk to them about it. Tell them that you are not a little girl anymore and need for them to give you a little more responsibility. Do you have a cellular phone? Maybe they would feel better if they were able to get ahold of you when your out at night. Talk to them about what time they would feel comfortable about you coming home at night. I wasn't able to stay out till midnight till I was 20 and living at home. Maybe you should think about moving out if it is that bad. Good luck.

Jonathan K

maybe you could give them a call when you are out.

Love Canada.

Being a parent is a disease that's hard to cure

tennyo_akana

Look to them you're still their baby girl. To them it's like you're growing up faster than normal. You have a boyfriend, you stay out late (to them) and you're attending college. You're becoming an adult too fast for them. So they're trying to guilt you into staying home more.

ninasscreanname

Well that stinks for you, but there's an old saying
"If you live in my house, you live by my rules"

So, you have to deal with it or move out. Talk with them and see what time is appropriate for you to be home at.

â˜»I Know Allâ˜»

if mommy and daddy are giving you shelter, food, and paying for your tuition at age 20, then they have every right to tell u what to do....

Baby

try calling them and telling them that you are ok and that you will be home a litle later, put their minds at rest.

sweetlikesugar

they just worry..just be responsible and make sure you dont drink and rive..ever heard the saying nothing good happens after midnight?..but 11:30 isent bad they shouldent guve you crap for that

hurts so good

time to move out.
nearly 20 get your own place and do as you wish if not put up with it i know which one i would prefer.

albrightlesa

Just let it roll off of you like a duck dose water they are just using that to control you.Just say If it makes you feel better I will call when I am running late.But I would save my money and get a place A.S.A.P and when I had the money I would say "I love you and I do not want to cause this pain so I will leave if you want me to"that will shut them up.

lolly

Start increasing your communication witht hem. they just want to know that you are safe. So how about if you know you are going to be a home a little late, then you text or call them to let them know. or when you leave, tell them exactly what time you plan to be home by so they don't freak out. I also tend to agree with the first person,a t 19 you really should be thinking about moving out, especially since you dont like their rules. Honestly, Im not just being mean, it is sooo much better once you move out. Your parents then dont even know if you are home or out and the relationship you have with them will probably get a lot better.

Jv J

lol stupid parents, awww... it's not you going out late that's really the problem trust me. something else is missing in their life, they're just really unhappy right now.... hopefully they can find what is really wrong with their life so they won't have to make you feel crappy about yourself. good luck.

why do you feel bad for going out? have they given you a curfew?
and it's only your fault if they have given you a curfew and you are not following it, because they are your providers.

Marlana

It will only pass until you move out. What they don't see they can't worry about. I was exactly like you at 19 and it is the legal drinking age where I live, and I was in college. I was responsible, and never did anything stupid. It didn't matter. They always thought something horrible would happen.

When I finally moved out, and carried on with my normal life, they never called to check up on me. It seemed like when I was under their roof it was all a different story. Then when I was 30 I needed to stay with them for seven weeks because I was working abroad and came home for a holiday. Get this... at friggin 30 they reverted back to my teen years, getting very upset if I left the house and came home late, etc. It was nonsense. I thought we were past that, but obviously not.

So all I can say is, this will likely never stop until you go out on your own and they don't have to see it anymore. They can't tell you what time to come home when you have your own place! Until then, they can give you curfews and you may or may not respect that, but legally now you're an adult not getting any respect.

Think of this, if you pay rent to your parents, they should leave you alone, no different than a landlord would. If you do not pay rent, then they are using the fact that they are putting you up, and you should do everything they say. So make a choice, do you want to live for free with some guidelines, or do you want to be on your own and have your own responsibilities, with the rewards that you can stay out however late you want? Whichever way you choose, nothing will change the fact your parents will worry about you because they care and don't know how to stop worrying no matter how old you get.

Amery

them blaming their health issues on you, that is wrong, but unfortunately you're their chosen scapegoat and you can't do much about it.

are they paying for your tuition? if so, you really can't do much, because you ARE lucky, regardless of their guilt trips.

and if you're living at home for free, well, you're really lucky, and you need to appreciate that it's their rules.

however, if you're paying board, as long as you as you aren't disrupting anyone when you come home you should be allowed to return when you want.

my advice: when they try and guit you... walk away. just leave the room. say "i was home when you asked me to be, you're being unreasonable and i will discuss this when you are thinking clearly" and leave the room.

i suggest negotiation, but not when they are angry at you. you will end up worst off, if that's the case.

Tia

I guess it's natural for parents to worry about their kids, however you are almost 20. Are you an only child? That may have something to do with it. They may be keeping their lives busy by fussing over you. It's not your fault though. You sound mature and responsible, and their behaviour towards you will only serve to drive a wedge between you and them. Try talking to them (when they're not freaking out).

PEGGY S

They are just using that to make you feel guilty. They are worried that you will get involved with someone and will not go back to school. Just ignore it when they say things like that, or make a joke like, "Can't your doctor give you something for that blood pressure problem." or "Mom, you should see a therapist for that stress problem. I have heard that there are some great medications out on the market for stress." and keep walking.

Chrys

then don't live at home...you're over 18...act like it.

cinderella

just be like
" oh so i cant go out because of you???
dont be blaming me for your health problems when i go out you should trust me better than to think im doing something stupid"
stand up for yourself girl!

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