Why do people get divorced the minute they feel they aren't compatible instead of working things out?

proud nerd

Because our society has become lazy. We don't want to put effort into anything. If our kids get into trouble, it's because of tv and there's nothing we can do. If it's hard to find a job, quit trying and rely on welfare. And if you don't have the perfect fairy-tale marriage, quit and find another one.

Monty L

Didn't you know that DIVORCE keeps LAWYERS happy. But seriously far to many people get MARRIED before they even know the person they are marrying. Sad but TRUE.

Cybeq

Because of no-fault divorce laws and greedy amoral lawyers. It also has a lot to do with the complete collapse of traditional values in America. It's a fun time isn't it?

abc

it's a throwaway world

sugarcarat

When the other person doesn't want to put in the effort to try and work thru the hard times you just can't make them. Both ppl have to try and make it work. Just one side working doesn't make a marriage.

megan261980

Cause we are told by society that we must always be happy. Not that true happiness comes from trying and working through things.

Bryan"s ?

It is easier to divorce than to work it out.... working it out means "you" and "me" have problems... not just you, and most people don't like to look in the mirror that hard... besides, people feel "if we work on it it still might not work" What a cop out!!!!

ohiofirefighter42

people dont the minute things arent compatible. Most stay in a bad marriage for many years befor deciding on divorce. You have absolutely no idea about the details of these peoples lives. Getting a divorce was by far the hardest thing Ive ever done, I in no way took it lightly.

Slim Whitman

No fault divorce laws passed in the 60s and 70s as the result of the women's movement made it easy for people to just bug out when times got uncomfortable.

Many people attempt to walk away from problems, but problems follow them. They blame others and often the focus is on the spouse as they are generally the easiest target.

I believe divorce like abortion should be rare and only in cases of Infidelity or abuse.

Here is my take, people marry for a reason, generally it's because they "love" each other. I believe often people fail to kindle and keep alive in relationships because they lose "that feeling". Love is not a feeling, it is an action. It is doing each day what is needed. Sometimes I am really pissed at my wife, "pre-that-time-o-da-month" is generally the worst. And I know I drive her nutz as well at time. The trick is to get through those times.

We made a pact after we had some hard times several years ago that included a separation, divorce and remarriage to not ever get to that point again, so we work on it. we go on dates once a week without kids, try and talk throughout the day and make sure we connect.

The problem with divorce is generally it doesn't resolve a person's own character problems that lead to it to begin with.

There are no guarantees. But the point is to keep one foot in front of the other and keep moving.

My grandparents and parents have both celebrated 50 yrs. I know my folks don't always get along. My mom drives dad crazy at times with her activities.

Marriage is a one day at a time activity as well. in this world we live in too many people live in yesterday or live in tomorrow and p*ss on today.

jhvnmt

Because too many people enter into marriage as casually as they exit it.

Most people feel entitled to happiness in thier marriage and this is actually a huge mistake. Happiness is a blessing that comes from putting in the hard work and compromise.

Also, people are takers more often than not now. A boss I once had gave me great advice years ago... She said: Marriage is often thought of as a 50/50 arrangement. But most often it's not. You both have to be prepared to give 100%. Examples of these types of relationships are when you see one person who has deteriorated due to some disease and their spouse takes care of them faithfully giving and never recieving.

In order to Have the ideal spouse, you have to BE the ideal spouse... think about it.

kitkat

It's because they are too lazy to put in the hard work that it takes to make a marriage a good one.

Stitch

Look at all the talk shows and tv programs. They all say if you're not happy why are you staying? And we all have the right to be happy no matter what the cost. It's a "all about me" world now.

jude

because there is usually someone else in the marriage, giving ultimatums, tugging at someones heartstrings, plus some people would rather walk away than admit they were part of the problem, much easier on ones ego if they just blame the other guy. when someone has someone else they can't see their spouse anymore as anything worthy.

boricua_chick_21

people get into marriages now a days thinking that if it doesnt work out, they can get divorced. The concept of marriage has gone down because of that. People have even told that to me, which to me is rather insulting cause my parents divorced like 6 years ago and it was really hard for me to get over that, and I really dont want to go through that situation.

Emily

True, they should try to work it out but most people do try. most do not just throw it away the min theres trouble. its not easy! theres alot of cheaters (men and women) some people just realize they dont have to go through life unhappy

Mr. Just Julie

Have you ever been divorced? It's usually a last resort. It's also extremely painful. Very few people go through it on a whim.

Maureen B

Have you ever been through a divorce?I don't know what kind of people that you are around but most people get divorced when all other attempts have failed..Divorce is usually the last option.

sweetgranny06

too much cheating going on

FIRE_LIFE

for various reasons, to start with; the modality now a days is: If they love me , they have to accept me the way I am, instead of saying if I love this person, I'm gonna get rid of the things that are not beneficial for us. They don't get married thinking is for life, they say well... if it doesn't work I can always get a divorce, they don't think is bad or inappropriate to keep flirting ( including chatting) with strangers, and they let the door wide open for chances of infidelity, and laws don't punish that, on the other hand they get better off after the divorce, even when they didn't bring anything to it. People is confused regarding their roles as woman and men and that even though they don't recognize it, makes them uncomfortable in the relationship and that leads to fights and misunderstandings. And finally because people doesn't start protecting they marriages before they start having problems because they are "so in love" and they don't see anything wrong, they start investing time and ears to it when the damage is done, instead of protecting they are only reacting to the problems.

bama

Well,unfortunately, it's 2007....it is a hell of a lot easier nowadays to spend $99 dollars on a divorce then thousands of dollars on marriage therapy to actually fix the problems and make it work..........
also, remember too......back in the day, when people stayed married for 25 years....they died before they had a chance to be unhappy................
due to the miracles of modern medicine, we now live until we are 100.
this means that those long 25 years just turned into a 50 year commitment.....
people do not realize the type of commitment it takes to have a successful marriage.............people get married before they actually know themselves, and then when they finally figure out who they are......they just want to share it with someone else who feels or acts more the same...........yes, it's true marriage today sux
All I can say is .....PLEASE KNOW YOURSELF BEFORE YOU COMMIT YOUR LIFE TO SOMEONE ELSE

Amy

In this day and age they do. I think you can find a reason to divorce anyone. Just because we are all different we are bound to get on our spouses nerves. In the same breath you can find a reason (one little reason) to stay together and work it out! I totally agree with you..AT LEAST TRY!!!!

gands4ever

if i am wrong i am sorry ! but the way your question is worded , it sounds like your parents are going thru a divorce !we can put the blame on alot of things here . from society to lazy parents unwilling to try. the blame does not lie with you ! dont let anyone tell you it was !i hope you allready know this much! allmost everyone now has gone thru it, and i felt the same way you do."why cant you at least try?"it was a question i asked of both my parents and never got an answer!all you can do now is pray that they will be able to work it out. knowing that it may be far to late . pray that you dont ever have to put your kids thru it, as mine may never go thru it as well . im sorry

Devdude

I agree with you. Today people just bolt. Lazy, whiny people who dont feel like truly cultivating a long term relationship.

SGT. Dillers Wifey

becasue it is the easy way oput, people hate conflict and it easier to get divorced then to work things out. they know it wouldnt happen overnight that it would be a never ending process so they bail at the first sign of trouble. thats why divorce rate is so high. people get married for the wrong reasons and then fall back on the court systems to bail them out. its absurd

VNCGirl

It's not usually the minute they realize they are incompatible. What normally happens is that there is a long build-up of things until one person finally has the guts to say, "Wow, I was so blind and wrong to marry you - you are NOTHING like you were when we were dating. I made a HUGE mistake and can't stand to be near you." At that point they have a decision to make: stick it out and try to make it work, or realize that they fell victim to infatuation and didn't really mean their vows.

spankybee

Because people who enter into marriage do not take time to know each other very well. People rush into marriage because they see their friends getting marriage then at the end of day the once unseparable couples becomes enemies. i also think that in a marriage one person would have to be a fool to ensure peace and understanding in the marriage, but here is the case everybody thinks the he or she is the master. Word of God says What God has put together let no man put asunder. God have mercy on us.

Mangomum

Every girl wants the white wedding and their special day.

Unfortunately most don't plan for the future before they plan for their wedding. I mean ask the hard questions, make decisions about money, children and goals in life and how they will achieve them before the big day. Its hard work and the aura of "love" allows us all to discard reality when going for the gold band.

And finally, most people regard things in life as disposable. If it doesn't work on the first try, take it back and get something better.

I realize divorce should be the final painful option for married couples who are not getting along, but unless one of you totally beat the crap out of the other mentally or physically or one of you has cheated...you haven't worked on your marriage hard enough to let it go.

olddad1019

We all have a tendency to panic when things do not go right.

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