Why do some couples have to be so petty about stuff? I just don't understand.?
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Why do some couples have to be so petty about stuff? I just don't understand.?
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My girlfriend and I have a husband(HER) and fiance(ME) overseas, and they have been there now for 6 months and will be home on leave in 4 weeks. Well we all decided to open up Facebook accounts to upload pictures, etcetera so that they can still feel like they're getting a bit of the home life in the states. Well, my girlfriend said she picked a song for him to hear on her cellphone if he should call because it sounded like it really displayed their relationship. She asked him about it but he said it sounded gay; therefore, she took it off, got a refund and spoke no more of it; yet, he did hurt her feelings she said. So now, he had pictures of them up and she said she didn't like them. She said something like they just looked like they didn't match as a couple and she complained to him that she looked like Plain Jane with no make-up, felt unattractive that day and people would look at that and wonder what he sees in her(She is very beautiful to me and has a nice shape). She said she mentioned other things about the picture too but forgot exactly what it was. Anyway, he is now holding a grudge and don't have much to say to her. She said she apologized and realized that maybe he saw something more special in those photoss then she did. Instead of him just letting it go like she has done he's not emailing her like he usually does and she has decided to give him the silent treatment as well. Having knowing them for a while, they have been going through this type of stuff before they dated and now in their 5 year marriage. I have heard from the support group leader that the men and women are having it rough over there and they are just tired of being there. Do you think that's part of their problem as well? I'm trying to help her out here because whenever we talk on the phone that is all she talks about.
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Middle N
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Isn't it strange that we can be so petty and mean to the people we love? Although you and I both agree that the behaviour of your girlfriend and her husband is silly and pointless, I think we can both understand where they are coming from. People are sensitive and easily hurt, and no one can hurt us like the ones we love. It sounds like this couple may not have the best coping skills when they get hurt; they lash out at one another, or give one another the silent treatment.
I imagine the comment about the song being "gay" was meant as a harmless joke. The husband didn't realize what the song meant to her. To her, though, the comment denigrated their relationship, because the song represented something very meaningful about them. And being resentful of that comment, she may have overreacted about the photos. He, not understanding where her anger came from, may have cut off communication partly out of confusion. He felt he couldn't talk to her because he didn't understand why she got so upset.
I am guessing your men are serving overseas in the military. In this case I am sure they are experiencing a very high level of stress, and outside stress usually brings a strain on a relationship.
If they truly love each other, though, they will probably be able to work things out. Whenever I argue with my girlfriend, I leave in anger, and gradually realize that the anger subsides while the love remains. Love tends to conquer over all this pettiness. |
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Woogs
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First of all - it's not your problem. It is their problem. She sounds insecure and young, with good intentions, but sort of centered on herself.
Also, He is overseas and in danger protecting out rights and freedoms. She should be thankful there are men like her husband (and your fiance') willing to protect us at cost to themselves. Wherever they are stationed, they are always in possible danger. They are under stress, far from home, feeling isolated, and unappreciated.
Thank GOD there are men and women willing to sacrifice for us. You can tell her husband and your fiance' THANK YOU from me and GOD BLESS THEM!
The other stuff about pictures, etc. is dribble and nonsense. If she wants to make him happy, show him love and support no matter what! No more dribble and nonsense! |
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Bgirl
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Get over it!! |
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