Why do some men wait a long time to finalize their divorce?

I have a friend who has been separated from his wife for over a year. Their decision to end their marriage was mutual. They had no problems reaching a settlement on kids or assets. However, they have not finalized their divorce. When I asked him what he was waiting for his response was that they needed to sell their house first. So they both keep putting their money into one account and pay for things jointly. He keeps telling me she is very dependent on him. She has a boyfriend now and I think my friend is being used. I want to tell him that she will always be dependent on him if he lets her! Any advice on what to say to him?
Additional Details
He truly is just a friend. I have worked with him for 7 years. He is actually dating another friend of mine!

veronika A

perhaps they are unsure....

cjmessy

Let him figure it out. Doesn't sound like the situation is bothering him. Is there a reason you are vested in his divorce?

SUGA69

well this is a simple one! because they are at odds with their decisions and half of the relationship, they loved but a huge part of it is unfullfilled so they are still contemplating if they should stay or go,most of the time to prove to themselves they have moved on,they start dating someone else,but it is the wrong choice untill you have made up your mind and come to a finale decision and you have really placed it, honestly behind you. god bless!

crazylegs

Alana sorry but it may be best to mind your own business in this situation. A lot of guys do not move on with the divorce in any hurry as they are afraid of making the same mistake another time with another woman. Also some feel as long as they are still only separated that their wives cannot re-marry either and this makes some men very happy.

Dave C

Not much you can do with this one

Hopefully he will wake up and realize it but I'd had to say if he has been doing it for a year from date of separation I doubt very much he is going to change his ways

i would tell him cause she seems like a user

spiffer1

Deep seated insecurity.
But they rationalize it as revenge and keeping control over the ex.

Giustapporre

A marriage is a long-term and complicated "entanglement" of two lives (or sometimes more, if there are kids, family, etc.). There can be all sorts of reasons to not finalize a divorce, among them might be - practical, financial, legal, or even emotional.

I guess I would wonder what your stake in it is, what would you have to gain by a speedy finalization of this divorce? You'd be better off not to be concerned with it. Since it is so complicated (and I hope you NEVER have to find out first hand), you should not try to imagine the reasons why or why not this divorce isn't as speedy as you think it should be.

how long have you been in love with him?

mebo

In certain cases, the divorce cannot be finalized until assets like houses can be liquidated.

There isn't always much that be done to make it go quicker.

Piggy

This man's right. You can't divorce without sorting out what happens to the house!

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