Why do women hate it when men try to help solve their problems?
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Why do women hate it when men try to help solve their problems?
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i just don't get it, women talk to their men about the problems that they have! and when a man tries to find a fix to the problem they get all mad!
if the problem was fixed then us men would not have to sit and hear about it anymore! so why not just fix it? instead of complaining about it day after day!
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Playto
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Women do not complain to fix, they complain to be understood. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" would be a good book for you to pick up. |
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♥The Mrs.♥
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We just want you to listen, not solve the problem. Why do you think we can't fix our own problems? Why cant you just listen to us? Why do you assume you have to be our knight in shining armor, even when you haven't been asked to do so?
See...it can all be turned around. |
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now_follow
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LOL
Im like that....i dont know why. |
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Paul&Fran
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It's all in the way you present the issue. By your comments i could see you coming across as a bit arrogant. If im wrong i apologize. Try telling her you would be glad to help if needed. |
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DeeDeeD
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When a woman is talking to you about a problem, they are not asking you to fix it for them they just want to talk about it to get it off their chest. Don't you talk to her about problems you have? |
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Sierra
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cos they dnt wanna be a part of a guys problem |
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SandwichGeneration
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Sometimes it's just nice to have someone listen. Jumping in to 'do something' without being specifically asked to do so isn't very helpful, it's irritating. Venting a bit isn't the same as asking for the other person to take action.
My husband vents to me as much as I do to him. We'll sit on the front porch and listen to each other. We may offer suggestions; but we've learned not to 'jump into a problem' uninvited.
Why would anyone presume that being told about a problem is the same as being asked to take over and fix the problem? That's a bit condescending; it's like being told that you are incompetent, or at least that listening is too hard. |
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bustersmycat
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Women and men deal with problems differently (I am generalizing but in general this is very true and has been demonstrated by studies).
I find it very difficult to hear about the problems a woman is having without wanting to react, to confront the problem and solve it. But that isn't the reason the woman is telling you about the problem. They deal with the problem by a more passive-aggressive means (in general again), which includes turning the social circle against the problem.
This particular difference in the way of dealing things was a major source of marital stress for me and was very important in the eventual failure of my marriage. I just couldn't take the daily transfer of her stresses onto me. I had my own to deal with, and giving me stresses that I could not, or was not permitted to deal with was completely unacceptable for my personal well being.
And it didn't go over very well when I told her to stop, that her dumping all that crap on me was driving me over the edge.
good luck dude. |
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poppy
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Women are emotional by nature, they like to get deep and understand their problems, work through them, learn from them and finally resolve them.
Men on the other hand are logical thinkers, so they just want to 'fix' things.
For example;
When I had a problem with a family member, I felt hurt and betrayed, I needed to grieve over our relationship, and to figure a way to reconciliate without upsetting others.
(a very delicate matter)
My husbands advice??.....
"just forget about it"
ha!
not helpful. |
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Pam R
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It probably has to do with the answer they get. If it is what they don't want to hear, they get mad. |
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Padma
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Honey, no one can fix someone else's problem, until that person decides mentally he/she wants it to be fix - it's all about timing! |
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Saprincess
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I dont mind if a guy tries to help me solve the problem.. I wsih the guys in my life would make an effort!!
Maybe sit down with her and discuss how she would like to solve it and what you can do to help her. ( i know how much men like to talk about issues..)but make a effort to just talk about it and work it out together..
Hope this helps:) |
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Richard O
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Women like to be independent. you should try asking if they need help and then give them a hand when they say so. |
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blueberry
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because men complicate the problem even more |
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sweetjaw
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because "men helping" means controlling and some women like to feel independent
when a woman talks to you about problems you just nod and be supportive |
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