Why do you have to have kids with someone to prove that you love them?

always an opinion

Yes it would. I don't think that is the main reason people have children. Most people wanted to have children before they knew their spouse. Getting married is just a means to an end.

People that do use children to strengthen their marriage are idiots. They usually wind up with worse problems plus they now have children that are suffering.

UKdancer

you dont have to ever have kids to prove your love

Curious

You don't. A child should be wanted for it's own sake, not to prove anything. Some people prefer not to have children and they shouldn't be coerced against their judgment. It makes for distrust and resentment for people who prefer having more time and effort to dedicate to their spouse.

Good luck, though. Women get really irrational and hormonal about this and assume that a little person will make everything peachy, when in fact it can divide people even more.

WTF32!!

Life is what you make it. It's ok to not have children.

na cho baby

its all a matter of their upbringing. some people want kids, some don't there is no right or wrong answer and people with no kids are no better than people with kids.

His Wifey

I'm assuming that u are not married or u do not have children. Even though you will have less time for one another, it does create an unbreakable bond between a husband and wife. It is hard to explain, but agreeing to bring a child into the world together is the most unselfish and most loving thing a couple can do together.

sweetbeesma

could be. I had children because I wanted to be a mom not to strengthen my marriage.

GroveBee

Children do not create barriers between the parents. If problems develop between the parents, it is not the kid's fault. However, having a child to "prove" that love exists is the WAY WRONG reason to have kids.

nes

I would love to have a baby from the person i love... its just so special. Moreover, you grow together as parents, making mistakes, learning... its a lovely time to share.

angelkelly0228

Well I would have to say that this statement is not true... My new husband and I actually got pregnant 2 years before we were married. Not that I am saying our son was a mistake, but more of a welcomed accident. But when we found out we were going to be parents, we kept our relationship simple and later we grew closer. And then got married. I think we had our son because we both wanted to be parents and then grew into love each other and our relationship. Were as the love between parents and children is unconditional, the love between adults can some times seem more of learned than anything. Our child has brought us closer but it was not the reason we had him.

snrugglebau1

please dont have kids because you think that it will bond your relationship the latter is correct, especially for men. children do provide barriers and are often causes for divorce. Love your children but make sure its what you both really want. Most make people make bad decisions because they are young and don't have any guidance.

Caleb

Millions of years of biological and evolutionary history. We are programmed to form families. Some prefer not to have children, but statistics suggest that most married people are at least open to the idea of having and rearing children.

One thing is for certain. Married partners (and unmarried ones as well) should not have children together unless and until all parties willingly and willfully embrace the idea. Children deserve better than to be brought into the world just to solidify a relationship.

Maybe people get bored with each other and need someone to keep them from realizing it by keeping them occupied.

Jay J

Having stress in your life can make you miserable. Misery loves company. Therefore, having children can bring about love.

Wayner

I had kids to do stuff for me (like lawn work and changing the TV channel). It was okay until they became teenagers and lazy!

Just kidding.

pennylane

because its just added stress to an already cracked relationship.

Sandy Ego

The answer to the question in your subject line would be "no" (you don't have to have children with someone to "prove" anything); but it seems to me you're asking a different question. I think, the way a child impacts the relationship depends heavily on the situation and on the relationship itself. Sometimes it does create disharmony; a "barrier". My personal feeling is that it happens when the relationship isn't very strong to begin with, or when having children is not something one or both people want to do. From my observation, having kids makes a strong relationship stronger for the same reasons that all common goals and aspirations strengthen bonds. A child is something that you both can focus on, something that you both give your love to - and this can bring you closer.

nurse ratchet

Who are these married people you are referring to? Most couples have children because they want them, or because they get pregnant on accident.

HyperDog

I don't think that is a valid reason for having children.

One should have children if they wish to reap the rewards of bringing a human being into the world, and teaching him/her how to live a productive and hopefully comfortable, happy life.

Katherine M

because they make something together that lasts longer than themsevles most of the time

Kymira

my husband loves children, i didn't really want one, but i had one because i wanted to make him happy. but to be honest, after having the child, it does put a huge stress on a relationship. so i would never suggest someone to have a child if the relationship is on the rock. if the relationship is stable, then having a child is great because if there's only the couple, if things aren't working out, they can easily call it quits and not have to worry as much, whereas if a child is involved, couples tend to try to work out their differences for the sake of the child. i know there were many times i would have walked out on my husband if there wasn't our daughter involved.

Brittnee S

Well, it does bond you together, because a child is something huge and important that you are both equally responsible for. And... if you ever divorce, there will be no breaking that bond still, lol. When you have a child, you are forever tied to one another.

Though... this isn't a good reason to have children.

Avelyn

Couples should not have children to prove love to each other, nor should they NOT have children to prove love to each other. Children come and parents love them... and that's how it works. They aren't tools.

Barbi T

You don't have to have kids with someone to prove that you love them.

Anyone that thinks they do is in for a great surprise. Children are a "gift" we are given to love and nurture, not a "token" to prove our love for someone we choose as our mate.

Children can bring many things to a relationship. Having them should be a mutual understanding between 2 people, to add to a relationship and create a family to love and care for together. Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't. Sad thing is, the children usually suffer the consequences the most.

Be sure what you ask for in life is what you really want and need. It could go either way... nothing is promised or certain in life. You just gotta have faith and go with it.

John W

Ask the same thing again in a few years when you have had your own.

You'll be surprised how silly it sounds

Nicholas S

no..... your way of thinking is kindda odd.... the kid does not create a barrier... it unites them..... the kid is a responsability.....if the 2 parents can work together to love, care etc. the child.

The kid does not interrupt the comunication between the parents,sure it would take some time up of both parents,but both of them have to colaborate for the childs happines

icould say that if the child is happy.... the parents are happy

Aces baby

you dont have to have kids with someone to prove that you love them you prove that when you say yes to the engagement and when you take those vows. having a child with someone just says that you trust them and you love them enough to have a child by them. it says that you trust that they will be there and that this is what you love created, a bundle of joy. you don't have to have a child by someone to prove that you love them, you're doing it to show that you would love to share their love with someone that you too will share your love with

Shelly

a show of commitment perhaps? If you have a kid you are binding yourself to that person for the rest of that kids life.

Txgirl23

No I think your bond is stronger when you have kids. Of course you will have to share your love and time with your own daughter/son but it only strengthen your love with that other person.

Emily Rugburn

lol...that's a funny question. I get the feeling that you know the answer. Some women are just desperate and don't love themselves enough, so they get pregnant in hopes that it will help them keep the man, but most of the time, that just backfires. If a man and woman both want a baby, that's the only time it works out.

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