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Why do you still stay even when you are being treated bad??......?
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Why do you still stay even when you are being treated bad??......?

When women get cheated on, beaten, verbally abused, etc. Why do they still stay with the person that is contantly hurting them? What makes them want to stay?


They feel it's easier to stay then start over. Also they might feel they can't get anyone who can treat them right, or maybe it's a financial reason (they can't afford to leave). I think we always feel we can change our boyfriend/husband...we can't!

I didn't stay - I kicked his sorry *** to the curb!

Happiness is being single!!!!

proud nerd
Lots of reasons. some have very low self esteem and blame themselves. Some aren't financially stable enough to leave. Others have moral or religious reasons to try and avoid divorce. And sometimes there are good reasons as well. When my husband came back from Iraq he was suffering from PTSD and was horribly verbally abusive. I gave him the chance because I knew it was his illness, not him. He got treatment for it and things are better now.

People stay in bad relationships because they are comfortable and they don't want to be alone. It takes a while to build that level of comfort in a relationship and most people don't like change. Also, for some the thought of being alone is much worse than staying in their current relationship even though it isn't fulfilling or even abusive.
There are so many people out there looking for that special someone. Searching for that one relationship that transcends all others, so why settle with less than that? Everyone deserves to be happy and to be cherished by someone they truly love.
Good luck, God bless, and Merry Christmas!!!!

Gina C

Many reasons, cos i have been in a bad marriage too.. here are some of them..

financially unstable or no finances
no other family support
social fear
emotional weakness
no outside contact
the other person asks for forgiveness after a wrong doing and asks for a chance
low self esteem
emotional dependence on the partner

it could be one of the above or mix of the above

I was emotionally abused and a big part of me wanted to leave but the person dishing out the abuse usually has a "good" side. Any when the good is good, it's very good. But when it's bad...it's bad. Sometimes you get torn between the two.

My ex always said he would change. Because I love him so much I wanted him to change and was willing to wait on the change. After so many times of hearing it and not seeing it....you get tired and that's when you leave. It take some women longer than others. To each it's own.

Lots of reasons - low self esteem, thinking that they can change the other person, not being able to let go of the person they love.

If you know someone in a relationship like this, all that you can do is be there for her when she needs you.

What i think happens is the woman gets so beaten down physically, emotionally that she doesnt think there is any better for her out there....Her self esteem has been so damaged she cannot see any further than whats in front of her.... Another thing is fear...that the man will kill her or the children....ALot of it is fear.... Say a prayer for all the woman out there that they will find the strength and get out of any abusive situation she may be in....Best wishes to all....Believe me there is a better way of living ..you just have to believe it yourself.

Sometimes fear. I know its illogical but it's true.
And other times, they keep thinking they're going to change.
But they're not.

Lance F
Well,if a girl was treated that way.......then you should really really really move out!!!!!But you probebly want to stay because your afraid he will hurt you if you try!You should go talk to someone about a divorce.

Alot of women lose their confidence and believe they deserve what is happening to them. Thats why they need to get out as soon as it starts and not give a second chance

Women in these situations have something often called "Beaten Wife Syndrome" ... they have been told how bad and wrong and ugly and horrible they are for so long they believe it and truly believe they deserve no better. Some women might also be afraid to leave due to threats their abuser has made. One man in my state came and killed an exgirlfriend because she left him... these men are psychopaths.


if they love the person but the person has problems they have hard time leaving...or if they are scared to be on their own...its "safer" to be with them.... things like that...

Glitter Girl
I was abused for many years until I started loving myself. I started to believe that I was better then that and deserved to be loved. I felt as if I was trapped with no way out. A lot of women also believe they love the person and he/she will change, which is untrue because you can not change someone it will only get worse!

Bernie H
I firmly believe it's lack of self-confidence and lack of self-respect that comes from a poor relationship with their father.

Fear of them and fear of the unknown. They know they are in a bad situation, but they also know what to expect. If they leave, they have no idea what is going to happen. Sometimes, they also believe that all men are that way, so why leave just to end up right where they are, some believe they can't make it on their own and some believe they deserve what they get. The list is endless, but it is very sad.....

My sister was in an abusive situation for 17 years before she finally got out. She is a smart, attractive, successful women. She is the one that had the job. He stayed home most of the time, and she still didn't think she could do it on her own. On some level, I think she thought that he was the best she could get and it was better than being alone. She finally got divorced a little over a year ago. She is happy now, her life is calm, but taking that first step was very hard for her. We all thought he would kill her before she got out. Thankfully it all ended well.

after being hit and abused for a period of time, Women seem to lose all self esteem, & start to believe that they deserve that kind of treatment, & then they aquire a sense of fear of being alone. It is a process, A sad Process.

Kaya M
Fl, most people stay with these kind of person for two reasons. First, and most important, they feel they deserve the treatment and is too scared to leave. Second, they feel the can do better on their own. Most of the time they grew up in some similar situation and thinks it is okay to be treated that way. Women are too hard on themselves when it comes to love or getting love from someone. Love simply doesn't hurt and if you feel or getting physically hurt, then you are not in love. You are in an abusive situation.

Little One
alot of them stay because of fear. Fear that they will have nothing if they leave, fear that they will never find someone else, fear that he might come after her. If children are involved then they tend to stay for the children ( which is the wrong thing to do, your children cant be happy if you arent happy).

They are just afraid of what is on the other side.

They just need to realize that they need to leave, for themselves. And if they want to, they will find love again. And it will be with someone who will treat her right.

And if she fears he will come after her then all she can do is alert the authorities, get a restraining order, and move far away.

it's their stupid feelings. they cant help it. i kinda know how it feels, it's really pathetic. i hate it i hate it

It is sad and sick, but living with that can be easier than starting over. What's the old saying "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't." The stagnation is all part of the fear cycle (possibly of him and of change). The question is not why you stay. The question is how do you break the cycle? It is tough, but women need to find a way out of that type of crap.

I was in an abusive relationship a very long time ago. I stayed longer than I wanted basically because I just had a baby and I didn't make a lot of money and didn't have any where else to go. I was afraid to go to a shelter. When you are abused, your confidence level decreasing big time, so you are afraid to make choices. Eventually, I got over that and left and everything worked out fine.

I have asked alot of people this question too, they say I don't know.

It could be the attention (bad reason) they have very little self esteem and don't think they can find anybody else or make it on their own. or a hundred other reasons.

A better question is why do they go back to the same guy after they do get away from the abuse??????

Im ok now
For me it was verbal abuse. And I kept trying to get him to change, etc. Eventually he had me so worn down, and beaten down feeling I thought I could not make it on my own. Fell into a huge depression for years. One day I decided I needed help, started therapy and medications, took about 2.5 years but was finally strong enough to get out. Most women stay in situations like this because it destroys their self esteem and confidence.

They think it will still work out, the guy will change sooner or later, the fear of not finding love again, better be with someone than with no one, pride. These are just some of the reasons i think keeps women inside a violent relationship. Most of these women become illogical and too emotional and are too afraid or too proud to share this kind of problem to friends and families.

they are so beat down that they are afraid that they aren't good enough for anyone else and that they will never find someone else...

Shame and low self-esteem play large roles. We want to believe people can change as most of the time these control freaks show promise. To many times we are proved wrong with dangerous results. If you are one of these people please get away.

Triston R
Well i have NO idea but it is just STUPID!!!! I seen a situation along this subject..My Granda's husband is very abusive and verbally abuses her badly. So she is still with the nut. I think it is crazy i think he is going to end up hurting her so badly that she is going to end up in the hospital...And if you know anyone who is going through the same situation then you just tell them to get away as soon as possible because you knows what those abusive husbands are capible of. But that is just my opinion..But i'm warning all of you women that are being abused get away and start a new life!!! Thanx

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