Why does it still hurt?

sxci_can_i

That feeling will never go away. It is a hurt that reaches deep inside u and can at times make u doubt everything about urself. yes u can forgive. by forgiving i mean accepting that it happened, realizing it wasnt b/c of anything u did or didnt do. It was his choice. Now as for forgetting.... no. When u most wish to forget it, u will find it is the one thing that keeps coming up. u can get past it, but yeah its more of an accept it and learn to deal with it situation.

cam

because he has betrayed a major trust between you and him. I don't think time can heal all things, you might try counseling if you are having a hard time with it

no ie8

anytime somebody cheats on you and you find out about it .It's like a slap in the face it immediately hurts but continues to sting for a long time.

rockinnnsteady

it's normal to feel hurt, especially from what he did to you. in a sense, he betrayed you. time is a healer, but only if you are able to let it go. just ask yourself if you still trust him. but remember, no matter what, you cant change the past. it is up to you to deal with the problem.

Marcie

Go get some therapy... if you need, perhaps your husband can join you. There is no shame in needing help with the healing process. This was quite a blow to you and very difficult to put it into perspective with the life you are beginning with this man.

Denver

I was cheated on and it still hurts after 2 1/2 years of knowing about it. I believe the pain will never go away, it is something you live with not something you get over.

Girl

Did he tell you he cheated or did you find out? Because if you found out on ur own and havnt talked to your husband about the situation then its going to hurt until you do. I have been cheated on before and i knnow how you feel. But i am still with the guy because he told me what he did and that it was the biggest mistake of his life. Your husband should regret doing it. If he thinks what he did was right then im not sure you should really be with him. Its going to feel like you wernt good enough for him. But thats not the case. Dont blame your self eahter. I think you should talk about everything and tell your husband how you actually feel. You'll feel alot better. And your relationship will probably grow stronger. Talk about it with him

Justin

because you havent forgiven him yet

mary art

you should maybe think about counselling as it's not good for you to build up these feelings

cap

I don't blame you for how you feel I would feel the same way. You really need to express to him how much your hurt over it. What ever you do watch this man. I really believe if you cheat once your going to do it again. The first time is always the hardest and it just gets easier from there

BRYAN C

This one will never heal. It will be like a permanent injury. It is not healing or forgetting it is about just living in spite of it.

That simple.

I can tell you it happened to me with my wife and it was 24 years ago. Plus, it wasn't as painful as yours in that we weren't that serious yet. But somehow knowing it happened will always be there.

Of course it can have its positive side. Sometime ...somewhere...you will be in the same situation...and you can decide knowing 'he did it first'.

Matt

It will still hurt, untill you are ready to forgive. And if you really want to make your marriage work then you will forgive. Untill then, you will just grow more and more bitter. I am not saying the guy was right, he was very wrong. But must care if he told you.
Forgiveness has to come from you. It's not easy, good luck.
I am in the playpen with mildred

Lifelong Student

You have to do more than just let time pass. You and your husband need to really resolve this between yourselves, with outside help, if needed.

military mom and wife to baby

because he cheated right before ya'll were about to get married and wow you married him after that. you're sad i'm sorry. what makes you think he hasn't been cheating on you?

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