Why does my daughter treat me this way?

iyamacog

Because you allow it.

erinc226962000

She's 17...that's a difficult age for a girl. She didnt mean what she said to you, trust me. She was angry. I think that you should get into some counseling for youself...just so you can feel better...and keep up the job search. It will be better once you get a job and get out of the house. And if I were you, I would discipline your daughter for being so rude. I realize you cant spank her, but you might want to consider taking some priviliges away. A child has no right to talk to their mother like that. Kudos to you for being a strong, single mother for so long. You will do just fine!

lee

Thats a hard one to answer- all I know is that they do bite the hands that feed them some time or another- and us being the mothers that we are - well we will excuse it and convince ourselves that they do not mean it - (even though we know they do)- and things will get better again for a while - then here we go again on this roller coaster ride with our girls- My girl is 14- she told me the other day " I hate You, And I hate this house" all because I was making her go to church - so yep that really hurt my feelings alot- Kids this day are alot different than they used to be I think . But we will love them unconditionally - forever ! Good Luck

doovinator

she's 17, she'll learn. Keep your chin up.

cristennamarie

You should put her in her place. You are the mom and who cares wat you do. At 17, she needs a job, who does she think she is?

confuzdprincess

I think often times, kids are ungrateful for all that their parents do for them. But since I do not know you or your daughter, my advice will be limited. I would suggest you get together with her and ask her what's going on through her mind. And I don't mean ask her from a victim point of view, or from a hurt stand point, because I think if you do it in this manner, she will just close off to you. But ask her in an assertive unemotional way. If she's unhappy about your situation, ask her to provide you with solutions to resolve it, rather than just complaining and hurting you about it.
Foremost, before doing anything, take sometime and pray to God or meditate about your situation, and try to see what's really going on. I know going through your experienced must have been devastating, but I feel you cannot just give up and sit at home. Life is full of opportunities, and if you were able to get that one, perseverance will get you another one even better.
May God Bless you, and provide you with the guidance you need.

Gillian D

shes not trying to hurt you it seems like shes tryin to helpyou. by saying these mean things she wishes you would get up and off the couch and start working maybe even being happy. she thinks if you work again you wont be depressed about losing your old job. never give up, atleast yur daughter hasnt seeing that shes working now so she could by herself things. maybe yuo should see hows shes feeling instead of thinking your the one being hurt. maybe it hurts her seeing you down and not doing anything or being as energetic as before.

bazta

becoz she doesn't understand d ctuation! u hve 2 tell her wat's going on, so she'll understand! u should talk 2 her about it, ask her what's wrong and wat u can do 2 make her happy. evrything can be solved by conversations and by prayers, 2!

heavensweetbliss

I am very sorry to hear that you are going through that. I used to be depressed. My oldest daughter was really beating on me mentally. It was like everything I had done for her was nothing. But you know what, our children don't understand what we go through until they get out in the REAL world and see it all for themselves. As mothers and wives, we have to keep everyone in the house on time and take care of the most detailed things for them everyday. One day she will see what you have done for herself. It is just a matter of time. Hope this helps. Take care.

xvanillabonesx

She doesn't know what you're going through. Teenage girls are notorious for being self centred. Blame the hormones or what have you, and hope it's just a phase. I went through a phase like that towards my mum, but then I realized what she was going through and try to be supportive of her now.

Ramon's Wifey

I think its just because of her age. When I was 17, I was TERRIBLE to my mother. Moved out to live with my boyfriend and his family. She has to understand that you can't work right now, she may just be angry that she lost that lifestyle. She'll get over it.

wait_and_bleed

Teen years is a frusteratrating and confusing time for
kids.Try to sit down and talk to her.She doesn't konw
how you feel.

Miss 6

Kids tend to think the world revolves around them. She should thank you for giving her such a comfortable surroundings despite the struggling. Maybe you should tell her how her comments made you feel? (Even if you write her a letter.) She just doesn't understand because she is young and probably can't see life outside of her peer group. This would be a good learning experience for her, and after working maybe she will find a new appreciation for her mom.

suederay

i say let her be mad so what you have done alot for her and yes she needs to learn responsibility i have already told my kids if you dont shape up by eightenn im shipping you out uncle sam will be waiting and if you dont know what it is thats making her mad a little conversation never hurts

kitkatiyani

think that shes old enough to pay board now considering how much money you have spent on her entire life. don't worry about her. when they get their first job they get overconfident and believe their smarter then their parents but they dont really mean it.

presleygirl

She hasn't suffered that is why--you protected her from the suffering & she turns on you-, suffering builds character. We can never find peace from other people or any lasting happiness. Turn to Christ Jesus, for peace. Do not let her get to you any longer--nobody is worth it. try to focus on other things, not her. Bible says people will be lovers of themsleves and that is so true. You tried to show them that you were in control of things-but God is showing you who is really in control, that is a good thing for you.

.Colleen.ily<3

There must be something going on at school that she's really frustrated about and the only thing she could do is take it out on you. It probably wasn't for you to be intentionally hurt, but it just happened.

donna_honeycutt47

Because you have spoiled her all of those years and she is acting the typical selfish child. It is time for her to grow up and take some responsibility. You did the best you could do and only others whom have walked in your shoes would understand..

Sweet_angel

Well thats just how teenagers are i know cuz i am one and sometimes teenagers dont think before they say somthing but dont worry im sure when she grows up and moves out you guys will become closer !!

blueflowerscs

she is spoiled !!!!!!

kathyw

Your question is why does your daughter treat you this way: saying hurtful things about you not working?
1, She sees you not working after seeing you working after so many years. All those years affected her too - she saw that you have to work to stay afloat, it's not easy, you get up even if you don't want to and go to work, etc. Your not working goes against all this.
2. Even though she is not suffering hardships and she's not contributing money, her attitude about money has been so internalized over the years that she expresses it without tying it to a shortage of money.
3. Most important of all, she's reacting to your reaction to this setback. Really, I do understand exactly how devastating losing a dream job can be. I had a similar job loss years ago and I was so devastated that I had to leave immediately, leaving behind my coat at work. I hadn't been at the job very long and didn't know anyone. I went home and cried for three days straight and I couldn't bring myself to go back and get my coat. I needed it! I eventually crept back into the building after hours, after everyone went home and retrieved it with the help of a security guard.
You need medication to recover from this setback. Fine. But all she sees is your inactivity. It doesn't help that you blame it all on a person not liking you at the job - that very well may be true but you still could bounce back and say, 'Well, you win some, you lose some' and sweep that person's influence under the rug with a breezy attitude. Your daughter wouldn't have cared that you lost the job. She cares about its aftermath.
You will go back to work. And everything will get better. Even your daughter's attitude. It's easy to say 'try not to take it all personally' but really, try!

chiefs fan

You need to show her who is in control, you are and she is 17 she needs to work or she will never be an independant adult. Do you want a 30 yr old living at home you can't see it now but if you don't have her work now and pay for the things she wants not needs (ex. cell, car insurance, certain clothes such as 50 dollars for a pair of jeans and etc.

hotnault

I am a single mom myself my son acts the same way ,I havent been able to work in a year due to my health, I understand the sacrifises you've made for your family and you deserve a huge hug for your wonderful efforts, for one try to look for a few very good friends for support, support is a very important thing, next make sure you check into some places for job training for people that havent worked in a while if you have to call your county social services and ask they can help,and please make sure you keep your health up thats also very important, the case with your daughter , well I know its difficult but always remain positive, but make sure she understands she also needs to respect you for what you've done , I dont know how your communication is with each other , but if you two dont spend much time together try doing things that interest both of you now is a good time to not just be a mom but also a friend, I know its very difficult and depression doesnt help in a lot of causes you can and will make it , find that determination you had before and YOU WILL be able to get back what you had

My_Two_Centz

Maybe shes mad because she is sad that all her mom does is sit in a chair and watch soaps when her mom used to be this go getter, this woman to be admired, someone she looked up to. Perhaps shes upset because she cant help you get out of the chair. Do you get dressed? make up? Maybe leaving you in the chair in the morning and coming home seeing you still in the chair is getting tiring. Maybe she wants her old mom back. The one that fell but got right back on her feet? Of course what you went through was tough, but perhaps now its time to move past it. Get another job. Quit being the loser. Get off the meds, they will make you tired, fat, and lazy. If you needed them for a while great but its time to get off and be the mother you showed her you were. I am in no way shape or form trying to put you down hon, I am just trying to help you figure out why your daughter would do this to you. I had a depressed mother too and it was terrible!!

Good luck and if and when you get off the pills call a pharmacist and ask them how to taper off. You cant quit taking those things cold turkey. I swear you will probably feel much better getting off of them.

I really do hope things turn out wonderful for the both of you. If youre going through hell, get going to the other side! Woo hooo youre on your way!!

none

Bottom line she will not appreciate you until she has her children and goes through her struggles, don't take it personally teenagers could say the cruelest things, we all went through this.

Don't let it get to you, keep you head up. They will not understand until they go into the real world.

Niki

well being a teenager i understand where she is coming from, she doesnt see how hard you worked before, she sees now, she sounds like shes the type that lives in the presint not the past. and some what in the future. she sees that its been a years, so a job didnt go rite, a year is a long time to be able to get over that. she sees that now she has to provide for herself, and she doesnt want to help you because she thinks you dont deserve her help. you sit in a chair, it was a great job, and it probably hurt alot to lose that great of a job but your suposed to be her role model, when life screws you over and throws you out on ur *** your suposed to get up and walk rite back in. even if you couldnt get a job as good as that.
i understand that you had to do alot on your own for a long time, but maybe you need to talk to her, tell her how hard it as for so long. and that you just want to give up now.
but the more and more i think of this, i am getting the feeeling she feels your giving up on everything. shes doing what she has to to take care of herself. thats suposed to be your job. thats how us kids think. my mom shes been working hard to take care of us. she got thrown on her *** so many times. but the reason i will never talk to her the way your daughter did is because she got up and took some of the most worst jobs ever just to show her kids that things do get hard in life but you have to keep going.
you have to understand thats how your daughters thinking. my advice to you is to talk to her. ask her how she feels, then tell her how hard its been on you, sometimes you just need a break at analize things before you can get back out there. just talk to her. im sure she will understand. just sit down and talk to her like an adult. not a kid. things will be ok! im sure of it, so good luck!

Talk to your daughter about how hard you are trying to support your family and how upset you are about loosing your job. Explain to her that her having a job isn't supporting the family at all becuase she isn't giving any money to help out. Although this may have been hurtful, everyone in your house is probably very stressed out and upset. She probably didn't really mean what she said. She is still your daughter and you will always be her mother. Good luck. I hope things get better for you.

thumper

sounds like you need to tell her to start carring her own weight and to stop putting it all on you.try to set up her some rules to go by if she doesn't like what you are doing then get her own place and see how long she can survive out on her own with out you to help her to get by.if she had to pay her own way she might change the way she thinks.

Sherry J

I think you need to put your foot down! since you allow her to say hurtful things to you she might continue to. At 17 she should have a job and be helping with some bills around the house any ways. You need to make her go out and get a job and help out with bills, she would learn to appreciate you and at the same time learn some responsibility for when she get out in the real world.

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