Why does my family not support me in helping me get away from my abusive husband?

lynner888

Get the hell out of there! Stop going to your family as they are obviously not helping at all. There are many places you can go for help besides your family, try a friend or even a shelter if you have to.

Ted Sheckler

You leave.

It's that simple.

There are battered women's shelters and police to help you. If you want to sit at home and cry and act like a victim, nobody can help you. The more you let him treat you like this, and the more you forgive him, the more you become a willing participant in the abuse.

Legandivori

Your family wants everything to "Look Good" to the world, and not deal with real serious problems. They want to tell everyone your marriage is fine. Divorce to them might be seen as a failure on their part, or a sin on your part. Your family wants to destroy you. Stay away from them. They are toxic.

Husband is plain nuts, and extremely dangerous. You can go to a women's shelter, take your valuables when he's out, some clothes, personal belongings, and they will keep your whereabouts anonymous. Related to them in writing (have it done secretly before you go to the shelter, and keep extra copies for the cops) all he's done to physically and emotionally hurt you...have it reverse chronoligically you in great detail, date, time, physical, type of damage done to you, and your state of mind, was there blood? etc, bruises, broken bones, sprains? Did you see a doctor? You must go to the doctor if you haven;t gone, and complain about anything he's done to you and let the doc examine it. Let it be part of a medical report NOW, tomorrow. Don't tell husband why you are at the doc.

Once at the women's shelter, you can ask them to help you file for a criminal order of protection against husband, and have the cops arrest him on assault charges. The criminal order of protection will mean he cannot come within 500 yards of you anywhere you go, and you can order him out of the home. You can also have the court garnish his salary to pay your living expenses.

Clearly, he is disturbed. He is abusive, an alcoholic, and a drug addict, for that is what alcohol is. You cannot change him. He wants to stay this way.

Your problem is you believe his words, which are a total crock of brown stuff, and that is all. You melt at if he says he'll be good because he loves you. BS., He hates you and hates himself. You are like his mommy. not a partner.

He is a very dangerous person, who will hurt you even more.

read;

Comes The Dawn
Submitted by: Fancy
Author: Unknown

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises;
And you begin to accept your defeats
With you head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn...
With every goodbye you learn.

shanie

He doesnt love you and you dont either, so where is the point in sticking around for long, if you have kids, makes it worst, if not there is no reason to live with him, family may pressurise thinking it would be their responsibility to take care, once you are out from his house, get yrself a job, start being independent, first file a complaint and make sure you are mentally prepared for the consequences, inthe long run, its you who has to survive, not the family , so take a decision soon and move out.

tammy s

I dont know the whole situation, but perhaps your family is just tired of you going back, and think there is no hope of helping you. Abuse works in a cycle, its argue, beating, Im sorry, then the honeymoon phase, then it starts all over again. GET OUT. I dont care what your family thinks, call an abuse hot line, call the police, call anyone and everyone you can. I dont care how good looking he is, how much money he makes, he is trying to own you, and to control you. This is only going to escalate in severity, each time will get worse. You dont say if you have children, I hope not, if you do, he is teaching the children to live the same way he does. You are a human being, no one has the right to own you, you can get a divorce on your own, dont ask him for a divorce, why would he get a divorce, he can beat the hell outta you and still have you. To him its a win, win situation. I get drunk, beat the hell out of her, say I'm sorry and I'm still good to go. He needs help, press charges on him and they will send him to anger management classes. GET OUT!

Tricia G

Then get out of there without your family's help or support.

Roger

It is your fault. What is it that you do when he's drunk that makes him need to hit you? You have a man to call your own and you don't even respect him.

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