Why does my husband do this?

pinniethewooh

You said it yourself. He does not respect you or your family enough to stop. You have to put your foot down and make it a big enough reason for him to stop. If he disrespects you in this way it's probably not the only issue you have in your marriage. In order to move forward, something has to be done.

Lucy

He's been doing this for eight years, right? He ain't changing darlin'.

*ADD* So you're still married to him for financial suppor, right? You know what they call women who sleep with men they don't love (for money)? I'm just sayin'

Corinth

Yeah well he should respect you entirely when your together. But take it from me, its really hard not to look at an attractive woman. Its like a reflex, it happens entirely without thought. But if you really want to teach him a lesson then start behaving like he does. Trust me, it'll bother him a whole lot and then you might see results.

Kim

Well, you could look at it another way too...he isn't hiding it from you. He may not want to admit it, but atleast he isn't going behind your back. You see exactly what is going on. Sometime when things are calm and it didn't just happen you should try to talk to him about it and let him know how it makes you feel and that you feel it is totally inappropriate when the children are there.

rkrell

It is simply a case of him not respecting you. My wife would kick my *** if I did that. I can understand a guy occasionally noticing another woman while with his wife but he should be respectful enough and love his wife enough to quickly stop. The fact that you catch him and have told him how it hurts you just makes it worse. One has to wonder if there are other problems with your marriage and if this is just one symptom of something else that is going on.

Yes and no. First realize that men and women are different on this issue (as you can see in the responses here). We are visual creatures and I often don't even realize I am gawking until a girl points it out to me. That does not change the fact that its disrespectful however. Don't get mad about it necessarily, just ask him to respect you and stop because it bothers you. If he cares about you he will try to control it, just remember he's still a guy.

The thing I would be pissed about is the flirting. There is a fine line here and I can't tell from your post if he's crossing it. Does he know these girls? Sometimes its nice for guys (and girls) to flirt and be flirted with to know that you "still got it." Its a confidence booster we all need sometimes to feel good about ourselves. The question is, does he cross the line with it? Does he do it all the time and how far does the flirting go?

Addition: "he slept with my aunt and my two cousins" please tell me this is a joke....

Hai I'm Alice :]

hes male, thats why

dodgeman

He does not respect you if he's doing that.You have to fight fire with fire, start checking out the guys and make it obvious. When he asks about it, say "no I wasnt !!!"

SunnyMoon

Go buy a couple copies of financial magazines featuring very successful business men. Then drool all over these men in front of your husband. Tell him how much you respect men who make tons of money. When he complains that he works hard for you and does the best he can, tell him now he knows how you feel when he looks at other women.

leahcarteruk

Bob K above, you need a good slap. And yes, this is damned unacceptable behaviour and should not be tolerated at any level. You are a woman, you deserve to be treated like one, respected and appreciated. He is very unlikely to change after all this time, and I know a divorce is a big thing, just for this kinda behaviour. What I would do... it's called 'taste of your own medicine'. It doesn't matter if you don't even speak to other men, just give them a good looking over, right in front of this husband of yours, maybe a wink and a smile too. He'll bloody HATE it. Cuz that's men all over, jealous and controlling, but only if you let them be. Good luck :)

gary c

My wife would be really pissed. But my wife is always the most beautiful woman in sight, in the room, the city, wherever we are, why would I look at others? I am not stupid.

pdanusis

Do you trust him? Maybe he is just a nice guy and likes talking to people. Don't be a nag! Spend more time in the bedroom with him if it bothers you that much. That will keep his focus where you want it...on you!

â™¥~Angel Eyes~â™¥

Yes that is very disresepectful and I would let him know how it makes you feel and tell him how rude it is....OR you could just start talking to really hot guys...OR just get a shotgun..lol just kiddin don't do that but the hot guys thing yeah do that

um if you are just staying with him for money that's just wrong and a bad influence for your children.

gasguy695

you are not wrong for being pissed you need to have a nice chat with your husband about what he does. yes i am a guy and yes i love to look at all women but when i am with my girlfriend i give her respect and 100 percent attention. your husband doesn't give you respect or the attention YOU deserve time to find a new man

fed up

Maybe he is doing it to make you make feel insecure. The next timehe he does act like does not bother you. Mostly like he enjoys the attention he getting from you.

Another thing you can do is the next time what to go somewhere tell him no. When he ask why tell him you do not like what he does to other when you are with him.

Pancho

hes a guy
honestly idk any guy who doesnt do that

Rararine

I also don't mind the looking as men are more visual than women. However it seems that he is definately overdoing it. It is disrespectful to you to make it so obvious. It means he doesn't care if your feelings are hurt and he's sending out signals to other women that you're not important. If he's a natural flirty kind of person he could do something nice to you or to show that it is you he loves. I would talk to him seriously about the relationship without bringing this issue up. There seems to be more going on between the two of you and you need to get to the bottom of it.

*Brown~Eyed~Brunette*

i agree with Valerie X account #2

Valerie X Loves YOU!

Do the same thing right back to him.

That is the only way to show morons like this how it feels.

siixfootbeautii18

You need to call him out on his bullish. Ya'll been together for 8 years so he should know that that is mega disrespectful.

Mrs. Robinson

thats the worst of it. who cares when im not their as far as oggleing, but respect me when i am.

its totally disrespectful of him. I wont even date anyone who does that because i think it filters down to other personality traits

junkman

Guys will "glance" at another woman sometimes when they are around their wives. But gawking & flirting & talking is a different story. Is he going thru a mid-life chrisis ? does he think he is a playboy ? Mr cool ? player ? tell him to cool his hormones,,,

swhit

My husband is the same way 15 years. Some men are just naturally flirtatious and if you can trust him dont fret. he is acting like a dog in heat. I dont let that issue bother me, but if the lack of respect is killing you try dumping your drink on his head while his eyes are strolling after some gals behind- see if that makes your point. NOT WHEN THE KIDS ARE WITH YOU THOUGH.

paparazzi

i look at other women all the time but my favorite is my wife. see knows that and i know that.

Manda79

Okay, that's how I see it too. I once asked my husband about it ( he doesn't do it) and he said it takes a LOT of effort to keep his eyes forward. He says he doesn't know why, but when his brain registers, "female", the automatic impulse is to look. My husband is a very respectful, conservative, upstanding guy, and if HE struggles with it, it must be an honest issue. Anyway, I've never had the problem with him because he's always on guard. I wasn't aware it was that big a deal, but he said it is. Anyway, there's no reason a married guy should "indulge". If he truly loves his wife, he should at least try to respect her by making an effort to keep his eyes averted or on his wife when out in public or out with her.

Lizzie G

You are right and he's totally disrespecting you. Make sure he understands how you feel, but tell him without yelling or accusing him. Just be calm and honest.

Then, when he does it, point it out nicely and remind him that it hurts. If he doesn't listen and make efforts to adjust, seek counseling because it would indicate a much bigger issues than just wandering eyes and stupidity on his part.

Good luck!

Mandy Cat

He could at LEAST respect you enough to not GAWK at them, I understand looking, we all do that. Do the same thing back to him, and make sure to make comments, too. Like, "Wow! Did you see him? "Now, that's a real man"! And, keep it up until he's sick of hearing it!

mario86

Its one thing to look and another thing to stare. You have to understand that men love woman aswell as woman love men. It is okay to look but if he keeps staring why dont you try looking at men to see what happens. As for staring when your children are around I believe that, that is very disrepectful. I suggest you spice things up when you guys go out. Maybe try dressing better to impress him. When he looks at girls pretend like it does not bother you. This makes guy wonder why is she not getting mad. Get into his head.

@L3C

almost every man still looks at other women. its natural, even for women to get attracted to other men, but they do better at hiding it. but what matters is he loves you the most and he wouldnt trade you in for anything. if he was actually cheating, this would be a different story. make sure he knows that when he does this (even if he denies it) that it makes you feel bad. i hope this helps, and good luck!

Mimi

You might feel weird, it's true. But truly, if he's a REAL husband, he will talk to you. Since he hasn't yet, perhaps he just wants to fool around because he has some business to deal with but doesn't know what to do. He's just fooling around to let out the anger. Don't worry, if he acts like he still loves you, then nothing to worry about!!!

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