Why does she think that I'm going to leave her?

guitarfreak6666

Because she has just lost the baby you must understand that right now her emotions are all puzzled and will be for a while, even if she is a very strong and independant woman and very confident she may not be now, losing a baby is one of the most devestating things a woman can go through and you have to respect that and give her time to get her thoughts together, give her space but also spend extra time making sure she knows how much you love her do extra romantic things for her like bring her flowers or write her a poem(she will apreciate your attempt even if you arent a poet) and give her lots of hugs and soft kisses and tell her its going to be ok. When she brings up that she thinks you are going to leave her say very calmly that i would never do that i love you and will always love you and let that be the end of it. I hope i helped :-)

Alexander

Loosing a baby is hard man!!

What to do:
Not only tell her you love her...SHOW HER!!!

Kt.

She is grieving

somebody

it is girl hormones mixed with sadness, support and extra love will help.

Nicky

She feels insecure because she lost something that was loved by you, and she probably feels that she has betrayed you in some way and considers it her fault. Tell her its not her fault and it must have happened for a reason. Let her know that you love her dearly and nothing is going to make you want to leave her. Tell her some good things about her to not make her feel as gloomy :)

lexijoy13

She is grieving. Just be with her and tell her you love her and tell her you will be there as long as she wants you.

Zoey

She is in a scary place right now. Just be there for her.

Calum

I think that loosing a baby must be the hardest thing for a woman to get over. She must feel guilty and might blame herself. I think that she is worried that you will leave her because she feels hopeless and is worried that you blame her and are angry with her. Just be there for her and she will see that you love her.

Colon Blow

I agree with Zoey. Not much else will help right now.

POPPA TART

She's probably a bit unstable at the moment. Losing a child is about the worst thing, emotionally, that can happen to a woman. If, in her head, it's her fault then she probably feels that deep down you blame her, too. You're going to have to be Super-Husband for a while, and you need to get her some counseling.

myhanga

since shes going through a very hard time she feels very insecure and traumatized because its so tragic and shes probably just has a lot of negative thoughts right now. you can bring her to some kind of counseling to help.

Bobresurrection

Tell her that you will always love her.

Beach Bum

When going through an emotional trauma like losing a child, many couples do not turn to each other for comfort and reassurance. I think that you need to do two things if you love your wife and want to be with her. First of all, you need to find a way to explain to her how you feel. I assume that you do not blame her for the loss of your child, so you need to find a way to tell her that. Just because you tell her that you do not blame her, and that you love her does not mean that she understands what you are saying. You must not only explain what you mean, but in a way that will make her understand what you mean. Secondly, actions always speak louder than words. You not only need to tell, you need to show her. Maybe by planning to do something together in the future (ex. a vacation together next year) she will begin to understand that you have no intention of leaving her. Just my opinion. Hope this helps. Good luck.

P.S. My condolences on the loss of your baby.

dudewhatzup9

well she already lost one thing and is scary to lose the other she is scary help her [or she might be crazy} that happens a lot

deerhound

She is going through a hard time right now so she is still greving over the loss of your baby so she is probaly not in the right state of mind right now.

Thick Madame

she thinks you're going to leave her because she blames herself, and she probably thinks that deep down so do you. It's normal given whats shes just gone through, just be there for her as much as you can! spend time with her to let her know that you're there for her and you wont leave her! love her!

keezymama

It is the mental fall out of losing the baby and and the related depression and hormone changes. Has she spoken to her Doctor about how she is felling? It might be that speaking to a therapist a few times or a course of medication could help.

cortina03

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. That is a tragic event that no one should have to experience. Your wife is grieving and that will take a lot of time before she is even ready to try again. To me it seems she is scared that you will blame her for the loss of your child and leave her as she is already blaming herself. Continue to re-assure her as much as you can that you are there for her. Don't just dismiss her concerns by continually saying "Honey, I'm not going to leave you" by itself. Make it clear that you don't blame her for the loss no matter what she may be feeling. Eventually, she may find a need to enter counseling and you should be supportive of that decision. Best of luck for the future.

mizzhollywood26

Maybe she thinks you blame her.

Cheyrocker

wow lossing a baby is really sad just be there for her and let her know it is not her fault she prolly wont listen but tell her l8er on she will thank you and you will be happy agian just hold on to what you got cuz you love her and she loves you you can make it through she is just going through a really hard time right now

Dan

Hi johnathan,

I am sorry to hear that. I cant imagine what you go through every day. Keep telling her that you love her . She does love you she just must feel that the loss is her fault.

SpankyMcLaaLaa

Shes greiving and probably thinks that because she couldnt "bear your child" you see her as a failure. It's natural.

She's probably going to be very emotional for a while. She has something growing in her she loved and its gone. Just be there for her.

Pete Rock

Wow, sorry about the lost. She might feel like you want to leave because she failed you and the baby. I am sure this type of lost is something that will take a very long time to overcome. Just show her alot of attention and remind her that you love her...

Chelsea

sounds like a rolling ball of snow to me...
losing a baby is serious. she is probably really hurt by this. and is just allowing negativity to overcome her.
ive done this sort of thing a hundred million times. and it doesnt really have to do with you, but obviously shes stuck in a rut. she needs your help getting her out of it. take her somewhere nice to get her mind off things for a couple days... its not her fault about the baby.

Kal

Maybe post-partum depression. Google it and read up on it. She's had a huge loss, and feeling like she might lose everything. She sounds depressed. Be caring and patient. Are you withdrawing from her because of her depression? That could be why she feels that way. Maybe ask her if she feels that way, and let her know you don't mean to make her feel that way. Ask her what you can do to help her feel more secure. She might need some counselling or an anti-depressant for a short time to get over this time. If it is not addressed early on, the depression could persist. Check out Dr. Weil and Dr. Mirkin for suggestions about post partum depression.

Nicky

She's feeling vulnerable because of the miscarriage. You say that she blames herself, which I take to mean she thinks that it was something physically wrong with her. I'd tell her that the issue wasn't with her it was with the baby. That not all baby's that are conceived are meant to be born, that sometimes the embryo just is intrinsically inviable. She may have convinced herself that something is wrong with her and that she may not be able to reproduce. Remember that she's been pretty hormonal for the last few months, our bodies do take sometime to reset from being pregnant chemically. Just tell her you love her, that your not going anywhere, that a baby will come and that even if doesn't happen for you, that your life is perfect the way it is with her. I like Beach Bums idea of planning a vacation for the near future for the two of you, it gives you something to focus on together and cements the idea that you'll be here.

brody_pitman

Some girls get nervous after having a kid. Just hoping a kid had a parent is a big concern.

sdsu??

i have no idea why she thinks that
but in my opinion u should try doing lots of nice things for her
like
take her out
or buy her flowers
or even just say hi honey how r u?
just nice things that let her know u care:D

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