Why doesnt my mother respect me or take me seriously?

Hi its me again. Family man. Im 38 married 18yrs to same woman and have three kids. My mother has never liked my wife and believe me she is a good woman and mother. My mother who is 60 has never been very nurturing.She refuses to call the house phone no matter how many times I ask. She was never this attatched to me when I was younger. ?She just wants to text me and call my cell. Mainly when I am at work. The kids barely know her because doesn't even try. The most frustrating part is when I try to discuss my feelings she disregards them totally and states blankly to me its your "wife" talking again! Do I give up? What is her problem or what should I do?????????/

Myth_Understood

Sweetie, I have a perspective that I hope you will find useful.

Do you know the definition of "insanity"? It's doing the same thing over and over and over, but expecting a different result.

When you go fishing, you don't cast your line hoping to catch a chicken ... right?

You don't pick up a puppy and expect it to meow and go purrrrr, do you?

You don't knock on a wall and expect someone to open it, I hope not ... but that's exactly what you are doing when you go to your mom looking for warmth and support.

THIS is who she is! It's who she's BEEN since you were a kid. She isn't going to change anytime soon, so stop knocking on that wall, and accept her for who she is.

She is clearly limited. You have to start living within her limitations, and find support and warmth somewhere else, hon.

I'm not saying that she's right, or that you're right ... you have to look at it in terms of what IS. Until you can do that and let go of wanting a warm and loving mom. you'll always end up empty handed.

Stop asking her for what she can't give you.

*big hug*

Raising our parents is a pain, isn't it ?

cybernaut_2000

I had the very same problem. Emotionally divorce your mother, keep the two women apart. That's all I could do until mother died. The problem is the wife took the mothers little boy away. Mother will never forgive the wife. If for some reason they just have to be in the same vicinity, always stand between them. That's a set in stone rule.

Lucy

You are a grown man. Your wife comes first. Before your mother.

Tell your mother how it is, stick to it and move on with it.

Candy B

withdraw from your mother, she has no right to be that way, give her the cold shoulder until SHE warms up. refuse her cell calls, be a man.

yep

Just give up...you will NEVER win! You need to stick by your wife and just let your mother be herself. If that means she won't see her grandkids or son then that is her loss, not yours, especially if you weren't that close to begin with. Your family needs you more than your mom. Don't burn any bridges, just walk away quietly but make sure to leave the door open so if she comes around she will feel like she is welcome.

Rochelle M

Could be a hormonal problem. Could be that she thinks no one can take care of you better than her.

I would just point blank ask her what her problem with your wife is. Just lay out on the line that your wife is your number one and your mom will have to live with being your number two. Also remind her that if she can not behave in a respectful manner than you will need to cut ties with her until she can behave respectfully.

Ladybeatle

THis is a tough one. obviously you cant reject your mother because she only has a few years left and im sure you wont leave your wife becoz ur in love and to be honest this isnt her fault.

Do you know why you mother dislikes your wife so much? Possibly she is jealous becoz you no longer depend on her. Women are as much territorial as men. I think you guys need a long hard chat face to face.... sort out this issues and solve them...

China Doll 3

She is still your mother, sorry.

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