Why don't men ever leave their wives even when they don't love them?

draggin78201

Because no matter how much they dislike their wife, they will always love their children.
In the end, it's the kids that matter most. They want to ensure that they get raised properly and have everything the need to grow up happy and healthy.

Hani

Staying married is convenient, there are the perks and benefits and besides, it is harder to start anew with someone else.

vincentv247

Some men are afraid to admit they've made a mistake, they are afraid of being alone and being frowned upon after having left their wives (social status). These days, men are afraid to get married because they don't to end up in a bad marriage, that's the other side of the coin.

gypsy g

YOU ARE GENERALIZING....many men do leave their families...you hear it all the time. Though they leave their families when they are REALLY in love with the other woman. You sound like a spurned lover, who got used. Because regardless of what he told you, he's still getting some nooky from her too.

Royalhinney

Sounds like you are the "other woman".

Why won't he leave? Well, he's got it all. He's got the family and the home and the toys...and it sounds like he's got you on the side.

Why would he leave when he's already got it all?

smartypants

Guys like security. Its nothing personal. If youve built a marriage, a home, a family, and so much more together, its hard for them to just throw it away because you dont get butterflies like you did when you were 16. Its already hard for most guys to commit, then having to toss it all and start over, a total guy NIGHTMARE! thats why theyd rather cheat, have affairs, sleep around... whatever you wanna call it. Men want to have their cake and eat it too. They never think about how hard it is for the other woman who actually will be better for them. They think about theirselves and how stuck they are in a loveless marriage. Too bad men are just too big of idiots to sensibly resolve these situations. Always looking for the easy way out, even if they seperate, still doesnt spell divorce.

Maria

I wonder why wives don't leave their men when their men aren't happy? If he isn't happy she'd know about it just by the attention he's giving her. She has the right to leave too.

alrozz

Sometimes in life the changes that occur are severe enough where in this case she cannot work anymore. I have to take care of my wife for the rest of my life no matter what.

My mission is to take care of her and keep her alive at all costs even if it means risking my life to save hers. Love? I'd rather not talk about it.

infinite crisis 247

there are many reasons. it could be because they don't want to hurt the children, and if you aren't a parent...you don't understand. it could be because "it's cheaper to keep her". money might seen insignificant, but that depends on how much money that we're talking about here. it could also be because of being comfortable. new women might be thrilling and exciting...but they aren't going to clean for you, cook you chicken the way that you like it, or rub your back after a crappy day.

AlwayzStayz

no, not mine.
i got a cheating hubby and my 16 y/o begged me to stay anyway. Im here for my son...hes my rock. I will not do anything intentionally to hurt my boy. I have 2 young daughters also, who couldnt deal w/missing 1 parent. My life is comfortable. Yes, my marriage sux but I just leave the door open ajar...if prince charming "happens" to bump into me-Id be game to be swept off my feet! Until then, Ill stick it out w/the cheatin hubby.

Jake050

Once you have kids, it's a whole new world. Relationship isn't what matters as much anymore, your kids come first in every way.

Zaferus

Well sometimes the person you married is "not exactly as advertised", and what they are like before you get married and have kids is a lot different than what they are like now.

And so what happens when what they are like now isn't someone you would have ever married? And they have no interest in changing and talking is only fighting?

But it's not just you. You have children who depend on you now. It's not their fault that your marriage is a nightmare. You also know that your actions all play a major role in their development and emotional well being. And a divorce and fracturing of the family is devastating for everyone involved.

So do you sacrifice your kids for your happiness? Or do you sacrifice yourself for your kids happiness? If you're not fighting with your spouse (much) in front of the kids and until they go to bed maybe your life is generally pretty happy. Once they go to bed, you just busy yourself with something else and try to forget about your crippled marriage.

You carry on and keep smiling. For your kids.

Kaya M

Men and women do the same because they don't take the time to sit down with their kids and explain what they plan on doing. IT takes a lot more than just walking out the door when kids are involved.

Boo Boo Kitty

I think because they are afraid to be on their own and have to do all the things their wife normal does for them. I think it is sad and it is the kids that will suffer in the long wrong. Kids learn by example.

I tell it like it is

They just tell you (the other woman) that they don`t love their wife so you keep giving him what they want.

Annie

Married man not going to leave their wife because he love her,event the wife found out a bout his mistake she can forget and forgive him, she love him and he love the kids that is everything in his life.
You should not get involved with a married man in the first place, so you going to end up with hurting!

J's Girl

You have to tell me, do you have children?
It makes a huge difference.
I completely agree with love and happiness. And I too would like to experience it, before I leave this earth. But at the expense of destroying my children. That is incredibly selfish.

torn

This is what I think happens based on my situation.

These married men are missing something in their life or their relationship. They find someone who is willing to give them what they need and who will tolerate their married life. They get you hooked on them and they know that you will never leave. So now, they have the best of both worlds.

These men also have a secure life with their wife and children. They may really be decent guys who do love their wives, just not the "in love" passionate way they love their mistresses. When the wives find out about the mistress, they will do whatever it takes to keep their husband. It's based on pride, comfort, etc, but the truth is they don't want to lose what they have with their partner. They know how to push their husband's buttons. They tell them that they know that they are not as horrible as they seem by having an affair. They cry and remind him of their life together. And of course, they use their children as leverage. They threaten that they will take the kids away, and say things like "I can't believe you would ever hurt our child" "I can't do this on my own". Of course the man is going to feel obligated to be with his wife and children. He convinces himself that he wants to be married because that is the easiest solution. There are no more tears from the wife, he gets to be with his kids but he will feel a loss for the mistress. The only way to keep his family intact is to leave the other woman behind. It may not be the "right" thing to do, but this will allow him to keep his children happy and let them know they are loved. That is what matters in life...the children. Sorry to say that, but it's what helps me get through the sadness.

I DONT CARE

Each man/woman is different, it depends on their morals, if they eventually are holding on to hope that one day things will change, they are remembering the person they once fell in love with, yes its possible to fall out of love but still they hold on to the memory.
As for the kids sake, well a lot of ppl in todays world grew up without parents, they want to provide for their children what they themselves did not have.
some other people dont think like that, and they still leave their families, children involved or not.

my personal opinion would be to MAKE IT WORK.
you married, you took vows, you made promises, you made a family, now MAKE IT WORK.
of course a marriage is hard work to keep, of course it is, but you fight for what you want, since when is something that is cherished so easily attained? it isnt.

smw7508

It seems to me that the majority of men are afraid of change. Unless the situation is horrible and tense, they would rather just stay put (and sometimes stray for excitement) than rock the boat.

pattyburnett44

Well, you got married for a reason. So do you really think that he doesnt love you? He does.....Just obviously doesn't know how to show it.
This may require some help from your end. Communication....
Get that loveof your life back into your life.
You dont have to live miserably. And your kids dont either.

brknhearted chick

I personally think that the kids would be happier if their parents were happy. Who really wants to live in a home where NO one talks and all they see is their parents fighting. Is that really a healthy environment to bring up children in? If a man stays in a marriage based on the sole fact that it is for the kids..... then he is selfish and only thinking of his needs and not the needs of his kids or his so called wife.

C O

It depends on the situation. They would rather their kids have 2 parents other than 1 and 1. It may also be a religious thing. Like i know that some religions frown upon divorces and splits between spouses. Hope i was some help.

â™¥crazysexycool's soon 2 b ma

yes i agree totally w/u but its just not so for some, i really don't know how they do it, i know i can't stay in a love less relationship worse yet a love less marriage!

MATOYEH

that's life, mind doesnt want cheating, if you are guilty of one particular offence

Marie_(Canada)

They stay for security reason. Simple as that !

msdnmo

people are selfish. it isn't just men, but women also. people stay in relationships because it's easier. they don't want to give up the money, the lifestyle, the 'things', the house, the ease of not having to find someone new. it's sad but few really stay together for the kids. they may use that as an excuse but it isn't usually the case.

Tessa

When my husband and I got a divorce I cried myself to sleep for two years. Now 5 years on I can see that God knew best an I thank him every day that he let that marriage end. We are less focused on our own personal problems and more focused on bringing up our child. Our child gets so much attention, love and time with both of us and we enjoy our time with our child more as we are not thinking about ourselves

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