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SCOTT
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It's only a bad idea if you don't like the guy. Penny, you are overanalyzing this. Try to relax and just enjoy yourself without worrying about how you're doing with his kids. Sooner or later you'll figure it out so don't beat yourself up about it. If you like the guy, then keep enjoying each other. If you have second thoughts because of the kids, then you are in the wrong situation. It's really simple like that. Hope it helps! |
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whitetiger731421
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It is not a bad idea at all. As long as you are aware that he has a responsibility to those children as well. But if you like kids and you like the dad then go for it. |
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livin the dream
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I dont think it is a bad idea. But red flags would be why him and his ex broke up (he will of course say she is a pyscho ******) but you need to get to the truth, do they at least have a decent friendship b/c of the kids (character) and does he have full custody (then she really is a psycho ******) and is his family involved in his life (shows family values) |
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ALImyNAME336
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Its not..............
You love him right?? |
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Helicreature
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Who says it's a bad idea? I did... and I have a wonderful husband and my two darling step daughters because of it! |
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barroom_babyblue
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thats not bad at all n who ever had said it was a bad idea then they dont know what they are talking about |
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IJToomer
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Specifically, how small are the kids. I dated a guy with an 8, 6 and 3 year old - his ex-wife is Flipper - she started out ok, using the excuse that being the children's mother entitled her to meet me (that was fine) etc. Then things got way bad - we are no longer dating. First it was that I didn't care about his kids because I wouldnt' drive 3 hours (one way) every weekend to be with them then it was Flipper didn't want me around HER kids (apparently she impregnated herself) strictly because of the issues he and she were having - essentially the kids became a weapon.
So, I guess, in short - it doesn't have to be a terrible thing, but know and understand that usually, when a person has children, their life revolves around the children (rightly so) and you have to be honest with yourself and him regarding whether you can adjust to that or not. My situation was a littel out of the ordinary, and the big issues really weren't about the kids - so sorry for the bad example. =) |
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Leslie W
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It's not a bad idea. Before I got married my husband has 2 kids by 2 different women and when we started dating it was never an issue. And I too have no kids and I'm 26. The thing is, is you have to make this decision for yourself and if your comfortable with it, then do it. My husband is great and the mothers are great also. We all have a great relationship and people think that this is so weird, especially my best friend. Because me and one of the mothers actually go out and shop, go to clubs and talk on the phone about the guys she's interested in! So it's weird to other people but to us we wouldn't have it any other way!!! So I say go for it... |
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<3..
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It's not a bad idea but it can get complicated. I dated a guy with 2 very young kids for a long time. I liked the guy A LOT and was willing to overlook him being a dad. Well.. it definitely wasn't the best relationship. It didn't work out because I demanded too much of his time and he had his main priorities. His kids will always come first & then you're next. Thank God he's never been married though because my guy was and that was another issue. I was 19, looking for a serious relationship & he was 28, divorced with 2 young kids. |
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Sassy C
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that's not bad....it's no different than a single mother dating....it probably seems like a bad idea to you because it's pretty rare to find a single parent father (or did i say that right) anyway nothings wrong with that at all!! |
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Rajko
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Who said it was a bad idea? I'm sure he thinks it's a GREAT idea! |
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Hannah!
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well, if the kids can learn to like you it isnt a bad idea |
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BrntChkn
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Dating a single dad is not necessarily a bad thing. You just have to ask yourself whether you are ready for that.
Contrary to what some people have said, you do not become an instant parent to the kids when you start dating. My brother is a single dad, full custody, and if he started dating someone he would never expect them to be an "insta-parent".
Just look into your heart and decide if you are ready to be with someone who has kids and just because he has a kid, or more, doesn't mean he doesn't want more. So you don't have to go into the relationship thinking that you don't get kids of your own as other people have suggested.
Sometimes the single dads are great guys with big hearts...it takes a strong and loving man or woman to raise kids on their own. |
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Kate
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Hi Penny
I have been both sides of the fence.
My ex left me when my daughter was 6 months old. I dated a few guys when she was growing up. None of the guys were the problem but I still had feelings for the father of my daughter for a long time after he left. He still had feelings for me and his wife he married after me says that he didnt stop talking about me and the sadness our break up caused him for years.
I am now dating a guy with small children whose wife left him. His children have priority for him and now that my daughter is older she has priority for me anyway. His ex is quite demanding but hey who knows how hard it is to bring up two small children on your own until you are there yourself.
Someone gave me some advice. Follow your heart.
Follow yours. Whatever happens you will learn from this experience and children bring so much joy, they can always teach you something. xx |
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NLH823
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Who ever said it was a bad idea? If that is what makes you happy and you enjoy his kids then who cares who thinks it's a bad idea. |
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☼ GÆ–Æ¡ÏŽ ✞ Ñ ÉªÎ·Ê s ☼
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Life is what you make it! You cannot start out by allowing others to influence you on how you should live your life. It 'is' your life! Follow your heart and tell everybody else to keep their nose on their own side of the fence. If you love this man and you love children, think positive. Live positive and nothing but positive will come back to you! If this is what you want, give it all you got! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! |
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chrissie
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Because thier not use to being around children. It's a fultime job I'm a single mom with a seven yr old son. Two guys ran off because of that. If they don't accept your children then they don't accept you. |
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Kathy L
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If you lave a relationship with this man for any length of time the children will be part of it. So ask yourself, are you ready for kids in your life. I wont do it anymore. But Im also done with having kids and am not raising anymore elses GOOD LUCK |
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DreamWifey1
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first of all, consider what kind of person he is (scumbag to picture perfect), and then consider what kind of person the baby's momma is (""). my reason being, my sister dated a daddy, but his baby's momma was a psycho who stalked, harrassed, and jumped my sister just for being with this guy. needless to say this was a scumbag scenerio, although the daddy had no control over this psycho momma. so if you have better people in your scenerio, then all you have to consider is the kids and their needs. they are part of the relationship too. he can't stop being a daddy, so you would have to take on a very different role with him compared to a childless guy. it's a whole new world and honestly no one has a clue what it's all about (marriage and kids) unless they've been through it and actually tried. you're old enough to be mature enough about dating this guy, it's just a matter of whether or not you are capable of taking on a role you haven't done for yourself yet (being a mom, and wife). |
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Single Mom
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It takes a special person to love another persons children. If you can do that then it isn't a bad idea! Just get to know him first before the kids get too involved. I dated my boyfriend for 6 months before he met my kids but thats just me. |
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Jenna W
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IT's not a bad idea if you are adaptable. If you need to be the Princess and center of his universe, then this arrangement might not work since you will have to share the affection with his kids.
Kids mature people quickly (in most cases) so he might be a better catch than someone else your age who has no responsibilites.
Just know that he probably won't be available for your every beck and call and expect dates at his place with kids around.
It's all in how you see it. |
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jujubee
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its not bad but you have to make sure the kids understand that you arent replacing their mother cuz thats where problems begin but if you get along with them as well then awesome! go for it! |
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lipstick2756
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nah, i don't think it is as long as you realize that his little ones will always comes first, at least they should! I think it's great that you can see past the fact that he's had a marriage and kids are involved ..when you get older you just have to realize that these things are bound to happen! |
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Elias Saieh
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its not a bad idea, its really normal that kind of situations |
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AlwayzStayz
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its not a bad idea....just not ideal
take it super slow is all i can say ;) |
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Photographer E :-)
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Who said its a bad idea? The only negative is that his kids come before you. I you can handle that, then you might be in a great situation. What you don't want is to be with a guy who has little kids and he doesn't make them a priority at all. That would be a bad idea. |
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Jeff Vee
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I don't think it's a bad idea. There's probably about the same chance that he's going to dump you like any other single guys with on kids. |
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iDance
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There are pro's and con's
Con's
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The kids could get attached to you and whens you break up it will be hard for them
Their mom may go phsyco on the dad that he has a girlfriend that is hanging around thekids <--Yah I know crazy but it could happen
Pro's
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You get the chance to help with kids and that will help you if you ever have children
You will have lots of fun with the kids
help me out now
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuvFkQjbc2Ok72lzx4wyS.Tsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080710082653AACbqnN |
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Butch R
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being a single dad (of 1) what makes it a bad idea how would you feel if you had kids a no one wanted to date you because of kid they don't care how pretty you are. they just dismiss you because of kids sorry to ramble but hits a little close to home. and yes i find someone and she has 4 kids. |
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Grilled Spam
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r u ready to become instant parent??
if so, no pro ble mo |
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!x!HotLikeFire!x!
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Because there's more responsibility for you, less privacy, and possible arguments and confusion over parenting. Unless you like this man a lot I wouldn't bother. |
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