 
|
bill b
|
Easy!
If you don't want to be blamed, and want to have a relationship that fulfills your needs, GET A DIVORCE! |
|
ceegt
 |
If a spouse purposely fails to meet the emotional needs of the other spouse, it is DEFINETLY abuse, but turning to someone else to get these needs met is not the answer. If the spouse or significant other in the relationship is not willing to seek counseling, then the person who is being emotionally neglected should leave before seeking the comfort of another. Cheating is never the answer, nor is it okay. |
|
Marina
|
If your spouse refuses to meet your emotional needs, you should not be married that spouse. It really IS that simple. Naturally, you should try and work it out, but if that fails, rather than seeking someone else, you should part ways. |
|
Jbug
 |
If someone chooses to go elsewhere to have their needs met then it is wrong especially in marriage. Cheating anyone out of anything is just wrong all together. But is a spouse chooses to forgo affection leading the other to find it with another person then they are obviously a person that has been wronged at some point to deny the affection....it takes two to have a relationship and if both are withholding something then they shouldn't even be together in the first place....Communication is 9 times out of 10 where all these problems start....if no one is talking then not a single problem will be fixed...it just gets worse....and so everyone is cheating!! |
|
James Watkin
 |
It is cheating. If your emotional needs aren't being met you need to go to your spouse and work through it. |
|
Chris B
|
Emotional cheating is a very big deal indeed. If you're going elsewhere to have your needs met than something is very wrong. If you have told your husband, boyfriend or significant other what your needs are and they will not or refuse to meet them then it's probably a good time for therapy. If they have no idea what your needs are then you should sit them down and tell them in order for them to make some necessary changes.
It would be nice if we could all have or needs met but I don't think it's a basic human right! It's up to you how best to have your needs met but any form of cheating is not the way. |
|
Brutally Honest
 |
It IS a basic right to expect that your emotional needs be met by your spouse. But it is YOUR responsibility to make sure that the other person is aware, and it is YOUR responsibility to make it happen (through therapy, discussion, etc) when your needs are not being met.
Taking your heart, mind and soul elsewhere is NOT the solution to a bad relationship, or even one which has skidded into the ditch. What's the next step? F**king the person you're emotionally involved with? It's really just an issue of semantics a that point. |
|
Yenmor
|
Cheating is wrong because it is lying. If your needs are not being met divorce your spouse, move on and get all of your needs met. |
|
Neelia
|
The one who is neglected has every right to be hurt. The issue of cheating is not the fact that they finally got their needs met, it's that they did it while still within the confines of another relationship, no matter how unsatisfying that may have been. If you need to get your needs met, and you've tried getting it from the person that you're with, and decided that it wasn't going to happen so much so that you sought things outside the marriage, then you should have ended the marriage first. That's the thing that the person is upset about. It's not that you have no right to be upset at how you were treated. It's to do with the way in which you dealt with your feelings that's the matter. |
|
Bethany
|
Most spouses don't meet all their partner's emotional needs. Those left over are commonly met by friends, which is one of the reasons friendships are so important to maintaining a healthy relationship. It seems to me a little idealistic to expect that any spouse will be able to meet each and every need of their partner. |
|
Cath
 |
Beside the fact that you are cheating on your husband......it is cheating the person you are only using to meet your emotional needs the chance to have a complete relationship......he is involved in an emotional relationship with you while your husband gets the rest of you........you are not being fair to anyone! |
|
hooyutoo2
|
Two wrongs don't make a right. No, it's not right to neglect someone's needs but that doesn't give the neglected person the right to find his/her satisfaction somewhere else. In a marriage or committed relationship each person has in some way (expressed or implied) given a commitment and pledged fidelity (except in the case of previously defined/mutually agreed upon "open relationships" or FWB... which are basically uncommitted hedonism partners). Once that fidelity is pledged then it is the affirmative responsibility of each partner to: inform the other of grievances; and respond to the partner's grievances in the best way they can.
As to emotional cheating.... actions are born out of thoughts and attitudes.... once a person has emotionally bonded to another (The "3rd party") the only thing needed to "complete" the infidelity is to have opportunity and rationalization. It is a "slippery slope" dilemma. If it has reached the point of rationalizing/justifying, integrity calls for a confrontation of grievances and initiating remedial action..... if that is not initiated or responded to by the other partner... then you are probably justified in ending the relationship based on the partners lack of commitment/interest. For you own self esteem.... take the "high road" until the partner "defaults"... then you can leave with your integrity intact. |
|
Barbra
|
If you are married; it is never okay to cheat. If that was true; almost everybody could say that their needs are not being met; so it's okay to do whatever they want.
Cheating is also a sin against God. You should try to see your mates views and work things out. And the same goes the other way around. It's a give and take situation. Find a way to make yourself happy by making your mate happy. If both of you really try; things will be much better. Each day; each of you should try to think of what you can do to make the other one happy. |
|
Twilight
|
Emotional abuse is a symptom of bigger problems such as the deliberate denial that you have already spoken about. If someone denies you the right to feel loved and appreciated then they are controlling you in an unhealthy way that suits their needs.
Emotional cheating will not help this situation as much as getting counseling will although your spouse sounds like he might be unwilling to go with you but it is really important that you get some anyways. That can be through a preacher if you have no health insurance. You need to build your strength up so that you don't feel so deprived then you will be able to rationally take the next steps in your relationship whether that be moving on or working it out with your spouse.
What you are doing now though is simply tearing it apart more so than it already was.
P.S. I believe that you are trying to rebuild your emotions through this other person that is being kind and loving but that is just not going to be a workable way to do it. You have to learn how to love yourself first so that you can be strong in bad situations. |
|
Lucius Scribbens
|
Cheating is cheating. Period.
Now consensual, ethical non-monogamy is another story. |
|
If you seek Amy
 |
You desperately need a divorce. Why are you still with this mo'? |
|
theoriginalquestmaker
|
If you are in a relationship and your partner refuses to meet your emotional needs what is the point of staying? If you are getting those emotional needs met elsewhere, in a sense you are doing the same thing that your partner is doing because you are not giving 100% to the relationship. |
|
lovemuffin424
|
if the person your with isn't fulfilling your needs then you need to talk to them and try to make them fully understand what it is your looking for in a relationship and what you need emotionally. if they continue not to be there for you emotionally you should do yourself and them a favor by leaving the relationship. you've chosen to be committed to this person alone and you should not be getting emotionally involved with anyone else because it will lead to other things down the road only making your situation much worse. hope you find what your looking for |
|
Joe
|
An emotional disconnect is something that you should communicate with each other about and try to work through - changing small habits isn't that hard if you're honest about what's going on.
But it's important to note: Cheating is never the answer. And feeling self-righteous about it is total BS. |
|
Virtue
|
That's cheating. |
|
Beach Girl
 |
You're supposed to leave the one you don't want anymore first...
There is nothing wrong with looking for someone to fulfill all of your needs and desires....just do it when you're single. It's a basic human right, that doesn't 'require' cheating to achieve. |
|
Amber K
|
It's rough but it is still not right. You have to leave. |
|
(¯`*•.(¯`*•.♥LeesaM♥.•*´¯).•*´¯)
|
both parties will only see how it affects them so that's normal for one to feel cheated and the other neglected with out consideration for how the other person is feeling. this is what should be done. you should speak to your spouse tell them that you have these needs and they have to be met or fulfilled or you want a divorce... give them time to see if they come good on the meeting of needs if they dont then just leave them and then get your needs met else where. it all comes down to being unfaithful. if your not unfaithful then you dont hurt them in the cheating way. instead they just hurt because you left them. but you did give warning so its basically there own fault |
|
Krissy!
|
emotional cheating is worse than physically cheating. if ur cheating as in just fooling around w/ someone else it hurts but theres no emotional attachment to that other person but if its emotional there is feeling for that other person and they cant stop it. If ur going to cheat and cry "ur depriving me of my emotional needs" why not just leave that person? |
|
Barb Outhere
|
I agree with the first answer, its because the cheater ALWAYS has a choice - to be honest and leave the relationship that is not "meeting their needs", or not to cheat. Anything else is both dishonest and selfish. Do they consider what they are taking from the spouse in order to get their "needs" met? Where is their love and commitment?
What the cheater is really saying is that they want to keep the parts of their current relationship that suit them (because they ARE getting something out of it), which is meeting some of their "needs" (read wants), and they are going to do that dishonestly, because they have NO INTENTION of giving up what they already have, or informing the other partner of their choice to cheat. But they feel ENTITLED to get more from their relationship than they are willing to put in.
Often its the "neglected" partner who is failing to express their needs, or is blaming their partner for something that is in fact their choice - their inbuilt fault. |
|
Lisa W
|
Obviously, you aren't in a committed relationship otherwise you wouldn't think it was "no big deal". Cheating is cheating regardless if there is physical contact. IMO, emotional is worse because there is no way to "get over" the pain. At least if you know about a physical relationship, you can choose to let it go and forgive,or throw the bum out. Emotional, there isn't any recourse |
|
|
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
