Why is it that the second time around (marriage) is FULL of doubt - going into it? Can I over-come that?
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Why is it that the second time around (marriage) is FULL of doubt - going into it? Can I over-come that?
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Was married for 20 years. after 5 was miserable, stayed for kids, but never even had intimacy for 5 years at a time...
Additional Details
I have not re-married, yet. We are engaged. I have to slow down & want it to work. After 2yrs divorce, I am still just plain MAD at times and feel total bitterness. I have forgivem, tried to move on - whats the magic to letting go?
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Tim J
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It sounds like you probably need to talk to someone like me about that issue... Meaning, you clearly have intimacy issues... I suspect that is probably will help your current marriage if you did... |
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JustJules
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Why would you want to do it again?
If you're having doubts, then put the kibosh on the whole marriage thing. Unless you want to have children, what is the point? |
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tallandthin
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I have been divorced for 16 years. I have been with my present b/f for 13 years. We don't live together. He lives in his house and I live in my house. I think it is the best way. He would like to get married. But, I love being independent. I don't make a lot of money but I can take care of myself financially. I won't be having children anymore. And, if it is not broken, why fix it. I have an engagement ring, but it shows my commitment to my b/f. He never really asked me to marry him because he knows I will say no. So, he accepts things as they are. |
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cjc
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yes if you love her more then your first one |
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Pyar
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after being in a bad marriage for20 years ... you should feel doubt and apprehension going into another marriage ... It's a normal reaction . |
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Garnet Glitter
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Full of doubt? Not for me....
My first marriage ended when he walked out after 22 years...the next 10 years I spent as an 'independent'.
You have to learn to live alone with yourself before you can live with another....
After those 10 years I marrried a wonderful guy...been 3 years now, no problems, no regrets, no doubts.
I'd say you weren't ready to remarry when you did..you never go into any marriage with doubts |
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Jazzy
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You have alot of emotional baggage honey. Even if you think you beat it and got out strong and healed you didnt. You would have to be made of steel not to have any damage to your soul after a marriage like that. You have not forgiven or let go. You are in pain and your rightfully angry. He took 20 years of your life. You have regrets. Please talk to a Phd psych. There is no shame in taking control of your life and getting professional help to do so. You have no idea how 20 years of emotional pain like you had will affect you at so many levels.
check out these sites:
www.broken-heart.net
http://home.alt.net/~velvet-hammer/divorcerecovery.html
http://lovesagame.com/the-secrets-of-ultrafast-break-up-recovery-newsletter/
www.womansavers.com
You can beat this and you will. Take control hon. |
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Kramitz 2.0
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Have you ever thought that it was the idea of marriage itself that was broken and not you?
Obviously marriage doesn't offer any real stability, if it did, you'd still be married. Why not focus on just enjoying the other person instead of taking another chance that you won't be a statistic.......again. |
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