Why is my wife STILL upset that I had an affair?

I truly do not understand why my wife cannot let this go. I fully admitted to her that I had an affair, during the course of which the other woman became pregnant, and I apologized to her for my mistake. I let my wife know that I would try my best to never let it happen again, and explained to her how her behaviour drove me to the affair. I suppose I was acting out to get my wife's attention.

Anyway, despite my elaborate steps to keep the affair hidden from my wife, she found out about it. A friend of hers happens to work at the clinic where I took my sweetie to have a pregnancy test, and the friend told my wife about it. Since then, all my wife can think about is my affair, and the child that is on the way. Despite my efforts to assure her of my commitment to our marriage, she will not let it go, and the affair was mostly over three months ago!

I told her that if she had just been a dutiful wife, she never would have driven me to the affair, and that her behaviour since finding out about the affair was only going to push me to another one. Why can't she just let the whole thing go? I have already told her that I will refuse to acknowledge the child being born as mine without a paternity test, but does this please her? Hardly!

She seems to think I am callous and playing mind games with her. What is her problem exactly? Why can't she just let it go?
Additional Details
Hit Pig: LOL! Our significant others aren't going to let us play together anymore, lol!

Holy Smoked: You know, I think she has gained 7 or 8 lbs in the last 6 years! Does that count?

Stinkfinger: I don't know who you are, but gawd, I love you, LOL! ;)

Soulful Kris: LOL! Excellent suggestion!!!

Mrs. Large Richard

Obviously, satire is lost on the general population of YA...

S K

Bring the mistress home and show your wife what will happen if she doesn't straighten out.

Stinkfinger

She has no reason to be upset. You spelled out the reasons for your affair and showed her how she was completely at fault. If she can't stop bothering you about it, you have every right to find yourself another woman (don't waste your time with the pregnant one, they complain way too much and you don't need that hassle on top of the other hassles you've got going on).

riotgrrl

get the phuck off yahoo answers and go spend some time with your woman!

PRIORITIZE MAN! PRIORITIZE!

Countess

The goofy people are out and about today.

Thanks for the points.

sherl pagan vtâ„¢

a long time ago women were in control...if you had done something like this then you would have been castrated and forced to work as a house boy.

the good old days...

((jack))

Dance 4 Life.

uhhh its cuz you cheated on her. no woman deserves to be cheated on. how can you not understand that?

bill at msn

Because you swore and promised to love and respect her. So you had an affair, so much for loving and respecting her. By The Way; you also do not treat her like gold!

sophaloafs mommy

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... because you had an AFFAIR!!!!

darkening_hope

First off, you cannot expect your wife to just "get over" an affair that ended three months ago. This is a very painful thing, and you don't even seem to take accountability for it! You have attitude that it was HER that drove you to having the affair. That's stupid. You need to re-think your actions.

There's no excuse for cheating. You promised to be faithful, and then selfishly stepped out on your marriage because your wife wasn't being perfect or meeting your standards.

Why don't you just file for the divorce papers? Obviously you have no concept of what it's like in your wife's shoes right now, nor do you seem to have remorse for what happened. Maybe you're remorseful of possibly getting this other woman pregnant, but other than that, I don't see much else coming from you. Maybe you'd be better off as single, huh?

Yeppers

She is probably just taking some time to develop her exit plan. She doesn't really want to interact with you or be around you at all. In fact just looking at you probably makes her sick. She wants to get the heck away from you, rightfully so too. You're_an_***!

txpainthorse

You must think lots of this gal you had an affair with. Your 2nd paragraph you said you took "your sweetie to get a pregnancy test".

You say your wife drove you to have an affair? Go figure.

Holy Smoked

that is horrific and totally unacceptable mr. jack... what kind of callous, inconsiderate animal are you??? the only excuse for someone like you to do something so insensitive would be if your wife is overweight.

it doesn't sound like that is what's going on... so what do you have to say for yourself???

yelles

Trust is like fine china -once it is broken, no matter how many times you have glued it together again, will never be the same. The cracks are always there even though they might be hidden to the naked eye. I think she won't ever get over it -the hurt is too deep! You ripped out her heart and watched it bleed.....

whowantstoknow

Don't bother answering this guy....he's a fake !!

coco puffy.

Ok, 1st of all, listen 2 the way u r talking. U r making urself sound like the victim here. Ur the one who went behind her back, cheated, got another woman pregnant, & u still xpect 2 come bac home & have ur wife kiss ur ***? U don't even sound remorseful 4 wat u did. If i was ur wife, i'd open my eyes & see that i deserve someone who can treat me better than the a s s hole im with.:(

brandiintheskywithdiamonds

Sounds like she's RIGHT on this. Three months? It's gonna take more time than that. Don't blame the affair on her--it's your actions and your actions ONLY that caused this. That could be another reason she will not let it go, the fact that you claim she was the reason you cheated.
I can tell you how she can get over it--leave you.
Affairs are not a matter to be taken lightly, it's not like you made a teeny mistake...If anything, she should let YOU go.

not done yet

All I can say is WOW. What kind of idiot are you? What if your wife had an affair and got pregnant? And you told her that you wouldn't acknowledge the child? Your a pig. That child did not ask to be conceived. Shame on you. Your the reason men look bad.

wldchldwoman

Are you serious about what is her problem she can't let go. Let's see what if she had an affair and was pregnant. Would you stay with her and give the baby your name and raise it knowing it wasn't yours and it was out of an affair. It's bad enough to break the trust but to add insult to it with a baby. Quit blaming your wife it doesn't matter her behavior you chose to do what you did. You could have divorced her instead of sitting there threating to cheat again.

asianmonkey_ninja

Sounds like to me, that you're blaming this on her. You can't say she made you do it. NO ONE makes you do anything. That is all you. If you were having so many problems with her you should have TALKED to her about it. Not cheated on her. If it were me, I would be mad still too. You should be happy she is still your wife. I think you should give it time. And not be so childish. You should not say you will 'try' not to let this happen again. You should make sure it will never ever happen again. For it shouldn't have happened once.

Morgan J

you are lucky she is even with you!!!! I would kick my husband out as soon as I found out he was unfaithful.your wife will never get over your affair,and it WAS NOT YOUR WIFE'S FAULT!!!!! You should take responsibility for your actions and figure out how to be a real man and know when you make a mistake!! I hope a man answers your question so you can see its not just women that think you are shady.

3$Bill

You are very kind to take your missy to the clinic. Maybe things will calm down if you take your wife to a mental ward.

cristelle R

because you used her"not being dutiful as a wife" excuse as a springboard to think with your zipper instead of your head.... letting it go doesnt happen over night and if you reallllly want to make your marriage work you might just try some counseling

egirl4rmvegas

because you not only had an affair.... you broke her trust in a way that it should have never been broken!!!

did you ever say vows? did they mean anything to you? your wife is not a "dutiful" wife??? and what are you a "dutiful" husband???

you need to accept what you did was wrong and stop blaming your wife!

grow up and be a man! every action has its consequences. your actions broke your wife's heart and instead of being truly sorry and instead of trying to make it right your angry???

your very, very lucky if your wife even stays with you. this post really makes you sound like a jacka**

Maureen S

I would have not been upset if you had an affair. After you admitted it I would go to the nearest lawyer and start divorce proceedings. You sound like "quite the guy" Have you ever heard the phrase, what goes around comes around. Boy, I would not loike to be near you when YOURS "comes around".

nolanico

maybe it's because not only did you cheat, and produce a child with this other woman, but you think simple words will heal all the hurt you've caused. And then to sweep it under the rug you're going to refuse to have anything to do with the child? Just because you ignore something doesn't make it go away.
It should also be noted that she probably doesn't appreciate you calling the woman you cheated with, "your sweetie." Wasn't your wife supposed to be your "sweetie?" And if not, could you please give your wife a divorce.
You broke a promise to her, something that clearly hurt her very deeply, and now you dismiss her feelings, thinking that she should just get over it. Well, you know, they are her feelings and hers to get over. Think of it as her mourning your marriage. Mourning is a process, and it's different for everyone.

If she had the affair and may be pregnant with his kid would you let it go? I don't think so. Think about it ,you are really being unfair to your wife.If you were unhappy with your marriage you should have seperated for a while and worked on things.This is your fault don't put it on your wife you cheated not her.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: