Why my husband acts like this?

We have a thirteen yr old daughter, and she is our oldest. He is so hard on her, more than he is our two boys. He constantly blames her, and accuses her for different things. He is the type of person that acts like he knows everything, and i am tired of it. He is not loving and affectionate towards our daughter, and it worries me for her own self esteem, and he treats me the same exact way. I want to protect my daughter, and i have thought of leaving him, but i really do love him, if that makes sense. I just don't now what to do. I know that teenagers can be frustrating, but I have told him she is a child. He has grounded her from the computer and her cell phone, and it has been atleast four weeks. And I don't think that's right. He grounded her because she made a myspace account, and he had told her she wasn't allowed to have it. But grounding her for that long just seems wrong. Should I leave him, or stay? plz we have kids together. he is their dad.

Melda

Since you said your husband treats you the exact same way, I think you two should see a marriage counselor. Since he is a man that you say acts like a know it all, I don't expect that he would be up for it so that's when you pack your bags, take your daughter and stay with a friend of relative until he says he will go to counseling with you.

He may not know how to be loving with women (everything changed once you said I-do, you're now a wife and not just a woman he wants). With your daughter, he is being over protective and since he doesn't know how to be loving, his way of being concerned is getting angry. This is unhealthy for her and I really hope you're spending time with your daughter and letting her know that you love her and that you're sorry her dad is like this.

You need to go to counseling so that a 3rd party can point this issues out to your husband that way it's not just you nagging all the time. You need to do this so that you can also address the concern you have with your daughters emotions. Before you leave someone, I think it's best to try counseling and see if anything can be resolved.

Kristiane-Cubical ninja

Weigh your daughters emotional well being against your marriage and decide for yourself.
She will live with the scars of being treated like this for the rest of her life.

Christina

he is way too strict and i think that is leaving scars on your daughteri think your best solution wouldn't be to leave him right away,Â buttry to compromise. talk it out with him and then see wht he saysif things get so bad to the point where divorce is needed, maybe u could take a "break" first and see how things are. divorce is never good to rush too quickly into, so just try talking to him first, and tell him how you love him but how he's giving yuo and your daughter scars. best of luck :)

ouragon

Four weeks of discipline is hardly worth a marriage. Why aren't you backing him up? She IS too young for MySpace. Protect her that way.

Kristi

It sounds to me that your husband is VERY OVER-PROTECTIVE.....why else would he get so upset about a myspace, and ground her from her cellphone, and also act somewhat the same with you? Sometimes men have such a hard time expressing their feelings the right way and always just act angry or over-upset. But your daughter won't understand that or see it that way. Try to have a deep heart-to-heart conversation with your husband...although he doesn't sound like the understanding type...just think of a way to get through to him. Maybe even counseling if he would agree to it.

Serene E

He's treated her like this for 13 years and NOW your complaining??????
How long has he treated you like crap, too????
Yes, I'd definitely be worried about your daughter. She sounds like she's ready to rebel against him and that won't be fun.

I think you need to talk with him about it and if he doesn't listen, you might have to leave temporarily. He has to be stopped from tormenting his own daughter. Her mother SHOULD protect her.

marty p

boys can take care of themselves. girls need to be watched over. he's a little to head strong maybe, but you can appreciate why, maybe?

ya, to hell with that myspace crap and all that texting. sure, teens, especially the girls, need to be "connected" to their peers, but . . . there are limits. Grounded 4 months for a myspace page? the extent of the punishment may simply reflect the amount of fear he has of what COULD happen and HAS HAPPENED with that myspace crap.

ask him to ease up on her a little. or she'll grow up to hate him.

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