Why my husband thinks motherhood is a piece of cake?
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Why my husband thinks motherhood is a piece of cake?
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I am so frustrated already. I work only weekend and stay at home mom of three kids on weekdays. My youngest is 10 months then three yr old and 8 yr old. But my husband prefer that I work full time,like every evening while he works in the morning. He doesn't do a single chore at home than just watch the kids so I could finish all the cleaning. Probably I can do what he wants but I just feel that I'll be killing myself if I do. Financially we can handle cause I take care of our finances so I know, its just that my husband are one of those people who wants to be rich right away. We probably could if he would stop getting me pregnant, he wanted a boy so we tried and succeed on our third baby so its not like I'm the one who wants it. For me I think right now is just fine working every weekend. I don't even have a reliable nanny, my mom would take care for few hours but whines about it to every one we know. I don't trust my husband at all cause he'll just be my forth child doing all the mess. Why men nowadays think that women should support the family equally and be their reliable housewife at the same time. I'm sick and tired of my husbands expectation. Please some advice.
Additional Details
I am done, meaning I am sterile and this is my last baby actually more concern to know if for him asking me to work more hours when it seem like I'm needed more at home is acceptable.
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JoRo
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Tell him how you feel. Let him know how difficult it is, and tell him you don't want to work 2 full time jobs. Its ultimately your decision. There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. I know its often frowned upon in our society today, but staying at home with kids is one of the hardest jobs imaginable, and its just his job to support the family financially. |
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ouragon
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Just because your husband has expectations doesn't mean you have to meet them. Is he meeting yours?
Get on some birth control for god's sake. If he wants you to work full time, tell him what that will require, then make him do it. He won't, then quit.
You aren't a victim, you are a willing participant in your own oppression. |
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Heatherrrrrrrr
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Marriages fail due to unrealized expectations.
You need to learn how to communicate better. Sit down and dicuss all of the chores you do and what t would take to run the house. Like dinner will not be on the table because I will be working evenings. You will have to put the kids to bed, bath them etc.
You are in this together. Not against each other. Work toward the common good of the family and you can't go wrong. |
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aloneinyourinsanity
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Why are you not telling him this? If you need or want him to do more around the house then ask him to. Men are not mind readers. If it's that he refuses to do anything then go on strike until he starts pulling his weight around there. |
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Ms. GTO
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If you're already doing it all anyway, wtf do you need him for? |
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sweetie
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Well you could tell him that you'll work full time if he is willing to have a house keeper to come in everyday to clean the place since he wont. Really you would end up spending more money on child care and the house keeper then you would probably make. So Im sure if you showed him the figures he would back off.
of course if you made him do it all for just a week he would probably see how much work it is. Maybe if you want you could pick up a extra day during the week and if he does ok while your gone then you could work no more than two days during the week. |
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Steve
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He sounds very selfish - I'm sorry.
1/2 the time you should watch the kids and let him do the chores. Being the way he his, you may have to demand more and settle with something your both uncomfortable with.
Don't get me wrong - marriage isn't always 50/50 sometimes it's 60/40, 40/60 or 90/10 - but eventually both need to contribute... it can't be lop-sided all the time.
Good luck - love him, and try to be positive in your approach, rather than nagging. Help him see your side.
Good luck. |
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China Doll 3
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Don't do it all, tell him to hire a maid. |
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just me
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because it is. |
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redhead27
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so he watches the kids, while you clean. Watching the kids alone isn't a chore?... sounds like your the one that thinks its a piece of cake. |
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Space Cadet #5
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Why did you let him "get you pregnant"? You need to start pushing him away and ignoring him. |
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