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Why won't she leave my husband alone?
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Why won't she leave my husband alone?

This one girl, an old friend of my husband's from highschool, won't stop calling my husband? He ignores all her phone calls and then she calls from a private number after he doesn't answer. The one night I got so fed up b/c she called very late, and I said "What? he's sleeping!" And she called back left a message and said "Why is your wife answering your phone?" Finally he answered months later to see what she wanted, and she just wanted to keep their friendship. I don't think its right for married couples to have single friends b/c she only wants to hang out with him, and not get to know me. How do I get her to back off since she won't take a hint from my hubby!!??
Additional Details
Haha I like the restraining order idea. ;)


Relax Guy
She sounds nuts!!! The only thing that will work is a restraining order.

Your husband has a nut case stalker on his hands. First he needs to quit hinting and outright tell her to stop calling. If she keeps bothering him then he needs to report her to the police for phone harassment and see about getting a restraining order which if she violates will be in trouble with the law. Be careful because from what you said here this lady is not normal or reasonable.
The fact she wonders why you would answer his phone (and there is no reason you shouldnt) proves she wants you out of the picture and this isnt just about friendship).
She sounds like a mental case to me. I would run a background check on her also to see what shes been up to since he knew her. I caution you that you could be dealing with a dangerous person only because of things I heard from a man in a similar situation.

He needs to answer and tell her directly in front of you, or possibly both of you on the phone, and tell her to stop calling and that he is not interested. Maybe she'll get the hint then. I would make sure; however, that he is not secretly talking to her at other times. I've experienced that myself and found that they were having conversations when I was not around. Good luck.

Change your number

I love Christmas!!!
Are you sure that your hubby hasn't been doing a little something...something????????
Seems like someone is hiding something especially when she wonders why his WIFE is answering his phone!!!
I think you need to open your eyes a little bigger!!
I think it is much more than she wanting to keep a friendship!
Maybe she has been mis-led and told that you two were not together.....I mean why else would she wonder why you had answered his phone?????????
Please don't let them play you for a fool!!!
I would start investigating!!!!!!!

HE needs to tell her that he does NOT want to be friends. If she doesn't take the hint, then switch numbers. or tell her you'll file a harassment suit.

You are absolutley correct in that married couples should not have single friends that they hang out with. It is unhealthy and playing with fire. There are times when good friends that both in the marriage like, hang out with both, but not individually.

Your hubby needs to become a little more aggresive in his tactics. Kindly but firmly let her know that he appreciates the past friendship, but his marriage is his focus. Any external friendships are never close to being as important as the marriage friendship and relationship.

If she persists, then "he" not you needs to seek lawful means to keep her from calling and bothering him. Remember, your hubby needs to act, legally, you can't do much unless there are threats.


Keith F
If he does not want to talk with her he should change is number. There might be some other issues why he does not want to change the number. Something to think about.

zomg lol
You kick that homewrecker in her place.

me, me, and me
my personal favorite solution: tell that b**** to back of face to face. and if she wants to get smart, put her in her place! : )

Laura B
oh goodness!

what a creep! i would just tell her straight she seems very obsessive, she needs a life of her own.

if your husband still dosent want to see her, he needs to make it clear also but maybe in a nicer way, so she dosent try even harder!

good luck, hope this helps x

I would tell him that he needs to tell her to stop calling.. and you may want to do the same.. you can also block her phone number so that she can not call.. Not sure if you realize it but what she is doing is harrassment and your husband can file charges against her if it becomes necessary.. and if all else fails.. change your phone number to non-published... you can also change a cell phone number if you explain to your phone carrier what the problem is.. Good luck..

Big Daddy!!!
you need to tell her yourself. or find out what her intentions are, you your husband agree to an outing with her. you know at a bar, or wherever it is. then you go with him to the location, check out what she is wearing, and see what she really got had planned. if she has a problem with you, then you let her know, that you and your husband are a package deal, get your own. bd

Yeah, she sounds kinda creepy. Maybe drugs involved in her little brain? You and your husband need to talk about it and come up with a plan to do together to get the message across to her.

Definatly change your number and don't list it.

Hmmm that sounds fishy to me. I think that if she is not already getting the hint with the avoiding calls and so on the only option would be to tell your husband to tell her not to call anymore. Make sure he is firm and doesn't beat around the bush about it because she seems to be the type that just doesn't get it. Have him tell her the truth, that her calling is really creating problems with you and your husband and that if she shows no interest in getting to know him as a couple, then she has no business knowing him at all.

I would honestly be a little concerned, calling all the time and esp. when she left the message saying "why is your wife answering your phone?" Why wouldn't you answer it? Have they had a past relationship? That is just strange to me. Anyways~ I wish you nothing but the best! :) Good luck! :)

good luck i cant stand evil bisshes - and your right she should have tried to get to know you - or at least call and say hey this is so and so how are you hows the family - i cant stand people from the past who think they should still be all up in someones buisiness - i agree with you -

How did she get his cell # anyway? Does he have the same number he had in High School? Maybe he has talked to her or seen her on the side at one time or another and she thinks it can happen again, or maybe he talks to her but doesn't take her calls when you're around. Either way, have him change his number and if she gets it again, you'll know that he must have given it to her unless you guys have mutual friends that give it to her.

Next ime she calls explain to her that she is being extremely innappropriate neither you or your husbnd are interested in having her in your lives and if she calls again you will be changing you number and file a harrassment report on her with the police.

she's fishing and you know it...don't let her get a bite
blessings and luck to you

Question Addict
This is for your husband to handle. If need be, you can be present to see what it going on, but he needs to deal with this lady. Maybe if she is not getting the hint, stop hinting, the offer up a restraining order.

How bout you have your husband change his cell phone #? Have your husband tell her over the phone (infront of you of course) that he wants nothing to do w/ her nor needs her friendship. I bet she's also calling to be a pain in the a*s because she knows how much it's bothering you... I'd take her call, put her on speaker phone and tell her how great it is to get her phone call and hear about how well shes doing and hang up, lol... you should def. have him change his number, if it means nothing to him and he doesnt care he would change it... don't take any excuses from him either... Good luck!

I honestly think that your husband should quit dealing with her by just ignoring her, but by telling her very clearly and directly in front of you that he is simply not interested in seeing her; That he is married and intend to remain that way, so just to give you both some peace.
That'd be clear enough for everybody; Otherwise, she'll think that you're the only one having a problem with your husband seeing her, and it does put you in a difficult position should she be a bunny boiler.
What if she thinks with or without reason that your hubby could be interested in her and that you're in their way?
So, by being up front your husband protects you and gives her closure if it's what she needs.

Your husband needs to change his number and make sure she has no way of getting it. or y'all can call and press charges against her for harassment.

I had this same situation with my husbands ex. She always called and text him. Evertime she would call or text, he would let me know. Well this one time she had texted him saying she was horny and he told me, I had him give me her number. I called, i let her know that my husband is not interested in having any type of relationship with her and that she needed to loose his number and leave him alone and she refused as a matter of fact. She told me that she has the right to do whatever she wanted, that my husband still loved her and she was going to get him back...lol.....I told her if i ever saw her, she would regret what she had told me...
Well come to find out my cousin is BEST FRIENDS with her cousin and lets just call her "july" well july had brought my husband's ex over to my cousins halloween party.
The whole time i was there she wouldn't even glance over at my husband. Well i went to the bathroom and i when i came out she was over there tryin to talk to him. I warned her. I walked over to her grabbed her by her hair and told her. " I thought i told you to stay the f*ck away from my husband." and I hit her, she called the cops but everyone there had my back and told them it didn't happen.
Safe to say she never texted him, called him, has not spoken a word to him since.
Of course i'm not saying to beat the sh*t out of her. That is not the way to go and it doesn't fix anything, just change your numbers and if you think it's worth it then file a harassment charge against her.

good luck!

I wouldn't think too much of it since your husband is obviously on your side of this ordeal. He has ignored her and done all he can do. He is faithful and honest with you and thats wonderful! He respects you as a wife and your marriage. A lot of people miss out on that. One option is you could get his number changed so that she can't call back. Other than that just continue to ignore her calls. You were right in answering his phone. You are a couple and have a right to answer it when he's not available. Don't worry. Your husband is doing what he should do. Best of luck!

it is important for everyone to have friends but she was very disrespectful and maybe she wanted to have more than just a friendship with your husband in fact i know she did and if i were you i would be wondering why she thought she could call him at all hours of the night!!!hmmmn that is interesting!

Ask your husband to grow some balls. She was his friend not yours. Responsibility is on him to stop it, not you.

i would just change the number, if she gets it somehow, make the cell phone company block any unknown numbers and also her phone #.

and if that dosent work, restraining order can help.

If your 'hubby' had a spine he would end this.

Baff her if you see her....my husband is to sweet he helped this friends girlfriend once and now she callee his when ever she has a problem...whether it's boyfriend or financial ..I'm sooo feed up .this is causing a big problem..and I am ready to barf her big time...

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