Why wont my wife stop spending money?

Middlehitter

She's a shopaholic... It' doesn't matter how much debt you're in, she'll spend and spend and spend, if not cash, it's debit, credit, line of credit, application for store card, this that and the other thing.
You need counseling before you lose your house!

mi2z_myst3ry

she might be the spending kind. if you are really having problem, sit down with her and have a talk.

Lives7

Talk, talk talk with her.
Set a plan.
Destroy those credit cards.
Stick with the plan.
Talk, talk, talk with her.

Shopping (instant gratification) is usually a sign of something missing in the persons life. Communication is the key.

shepardman1

she and alot of woman spent money as a stress relief,it makes them feel good its a disease.

daljack -a girl

Do you know why being in debt doesn't bother her?

First I would call all the creditors and cancel all credit cards with your name on them then I would go to a debt counselor, most states have free ones.

If you don't try to stop this now.....you're life is going to be a living hell....good luck.

AdamZ

yes you do, you know exactly what to do about it but you're affraid to do it. Take control of your finances, don't let her have the ability to spend.

marklemoore

How can she shop if you cut off her credit? Or didn't you think of that?

SubJ

If she fails to see reason, please get her credit card cancelled. Her habit cud however be attributed to ur not providing what u r expected to.

jazzman6812

Well many women like to shop and spend more money than their husbands think they should, but it sounds like this is something more. Shopping can be an addiction just like drugs or alcohol. Something that makes her feel better at the time even if it has horrible consequences. She's probably just as worried about the financial situation as youare, even if her behavior is making it worse. If that is the case, getting upset is not going to help matters. Maybe help her come up with an alternate activity. Or she could just be a selfish witch.

simplegrl

is she a stay at home mom? maybe she is bored, and doesn't know what else to do with herself. She should try to find something to do that doesn't cost money (like a book club, or a class at the community college - this costs money but it might be less than she is spending now) Also, incessant shopping is a sign of depression, she may be trying to fill some sort of void.

CowboyBill

Take away your joint credit cards and burn them.
See www.daveramsey.com

leslie b

Tell her to stop. And keep telling her. Cut up the credit cards. Hide the check book. Put her and everyone else in the house on a budget.

Max

umm have her sit down with you and go over the finances .. maybe put aside an "allowance" to do with what she wishes
tell her to get a job
get her counseling

amuse4you

She's probably doing that because she isn't feeling like she is loved, and is replacing that feeling with things. Why don't you make a concerted effort to pay attention to her in a way that she finds meaningful? It will take alot of patience and understanding, but it may help. Don't even discuss the shopping for a couple weeks, and see if your efforts are having an impact? If they don't, maybe you should seek couples therapy together. Good luck.

Pixy Styx

It's probably an addiction.

Rainy Day Lover <3

because she doesnt know the value of a dollar, or how hard you work to get the money. try telling her to take it from your point of view

-MCR LOVER!!!!

Soon 2B Mumma MeLLy!!

You need to talk to her on a regular basis. It could be something emotionally wrong with her or she might not be taking it serious. Ask her if her shopping is more important or your marriage

Or somehow show her the worst side of life, like poverty and not being able to have things she wants and perhaps she will grow up a little if it's not an emotional issue. Tell her she can live without 'material' items and it might teach something to your children (if you have any). Goodluck.

But also don't force her to stop, because if you treat her like a baby she will act like one. She should understand as a mature adult.

piepiepie

Return the things that she has bought. Cut up her credit cards and yours. Take away her debit card. Give her an allowance. If she must behave like a child, treat her like one. Do this after talking to her!!

Stupdazz

La Donna e Mobile <<<look up in search

She's preparing to divorce you pal.

Canttouchit

maybe she didnt realize the situation yet..explain to her that this time is not the right time to spending too much money and assure her that after sometimes things would change and she can do shopping as much as you both can afford ,tell her that shopping now would make things worse .

Ade

Dr. Phil covered this. Ask him.

It's an addiction.

Midnight Lace

Wow...she sounds like a shopping addict or just plain selfish.
You might want to get the credit cards, and the check book.
Go shopping once a week and let her know to make a list of the things needed.
It will take drastic measures but do it now,financial stress often ruins marriages because of the stress.
If it is not gotten under control you will find yourself divorced and owing so much money that your future will be messed up.
So get control of the money and ask her to seek help.

canuticklemepink

Mike sounds like your wife is bored with the home life. This in turn encourages the shopping as an oust of boredom and unhappiness. What is a better way to relieve the stress and unhappiness other than shopping?

Find a new man!

This starts with you and you best find out why her needs are not being met and make her happy.
This is stage one next comes the big D and your stuck with all the debt. Best start getting things changed in the home then the shopping will stop.

berry

Cut up her credit cards and don't give her any money. Take control of your household spending.

mellow

1. You are the Head of the Household. 2. You control the finances. You are in debt. You have done a poor job thus far of managing. Your wife and her spending is not the problem. You are. What's wrong with you? How come you can't get it together? Is it her fault? Do you want to blame your mess on someone? If your wife stops shopping will that get you out of debt? If so, read #1 and #2 again.

When YOU take charge, and I mean really take charge, making positive change take place, getting your debt under control and debt elimination in progress, getting that which led you into debt under control, and spending boundaries and budget/savings parameters established...then you will begin to also see a change in your wife. YOU are solely responsible. Accept this fact and get yourself together.

whitebeanner

Take the money out of her hands along with the credit cards etc. Everything that she could use to get money or purchase something. Then send her butt to get help. She won't like it but tell her it's that or the streets. In the long run she will thank you

jude

she spends so she can feel better about herself. she is probroly depressed so she goes out and spends to feel better, but it is causing problems within the marriage, so she needs to get some therapy, she needs help. talk to her, set boundaries, boundaries are for you, not the other person. make it clear to her how hard it is on your finances and tell her that there is going to be consequences from this. face up to this, if u don't it will never stop. she is mostlikely boored , so has she ever considered getting a job, if she doesn't have one now.

wishing it what i do best

talk to her!!!!! and give her a "shopping allowence" like 100 a month or what ever you can afford

Debby B

She must be a shopaholic- check out Crown Financial Ministries- they have great advise - she needs help- and awareness- and another hobby!! You can cancel all the credit cards and keep one for emergencies- or cut them up= get some financial counsel- D

Carey L

I would talk to her. Ask her if she would be willing to go to counseling. She may just have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and not even realize what a financial burden she is putting you in. Give her an "allowance", and you take over paying the bills and monitoring the budget. Try to keep her busy doing something she likes that doesn't cost money (her hobbies, interests, visit friends/family, take walks).

Colleen O

Sounds like an addiction...she needs serious help. Get her some.

RMikel58

7/17/11 My wife is 48 and we're both on our 2nd marriages. She has 2 kids and i have 3. Been married 5 yrs now. In her previous marriage her ex husband took away the credit cards and chk book to prevent her from spending anymore money. We got married and i knew of this from our previous discussions that she liked to shop. I ignored all the signs in our earlier marriage because at that time i was making 300-500k a year but after 2007 when the bottom fell out she continued to shop as frequent but the items were not as expensive. Now that were having a tough time paying bills she has continued racking things up and sometimes she spends 1000-2000 a month. Lot of her items are frm .99 cents to 100.00 but after you buy 100 items it totals alot. When things were good back in 07 she could spend up to 3,000.00. Pretty much this is what i face, I now monitor her activity on E-Bay and HSN, QVC and i find that she'll hide purchases from me or shift money around to keep me off balanced. I finally shut down her access to the chkn acct. but feeling awful and treating her like a child i give in to her demands and pleas that she wont do this anymore and if i pay for her purchase it will be the last time. She has her own store front on E-Bay and has a Bronze Rating as a seller and i didnt want her to lose that rating by denying her the ability to pay for items she won. Cutting her off isnt the answer because it only enrages that person and they end up hating you for it later on. This isnt about us anymore, its about HER. She has to fix her problem before she can fix our marriage. Its like a drug addiction or a gambling addiction. They lie, manipulate, steal and cheat. I know this. I learned earlier this year that her father has his own ckn acct. and her mother has her own as well. Her mother shops everyday or atleast 5 days a week. Yeah she uses sales and coupons but it still ends up costing you something. I tried talking to her mother but little did i know she has the same problem. Then talked to her dad and he allows it but not with his money. She (her mom) uses her money from retirement to shop. I asked my wife to get treatment and she agreed but hasnt went yet to see a doctor. My wife is already taking medication from alot of illnesses such as Fibro-Myalgia, Diabetes, Chronic fatigue and some others. I feel like i have no answer for how to solve this and i know that by giving in im only enabling her to carry on with her obsession. I have read up on alot of stories with this disease and alot of ppl commit suicide from it. If i divorce her im afraid it will only make her more depressed and she could end up taking her own life from depression. Then on the other hand i cant allow her to continue sucking us dry and eventually putting us out on the street. I just wonder if theres anyone who has a similar situation and could give me some insight on what i might face. Thnx Ron

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