Why would a woman do this?

aprilx4u

If you can tell me why you had ther affair, Ill answer your question

joe

can you blame her.... she tried with more gusto then most women to inspire or recapture what you took from her. she was hoping for the best when she asked for the ring she just never could get over wondering what you where up to if she would be wasting her time in the future, dude this is a big learning lesson and somtimes they hurt and this isnt a see i told you so moment but i am thinking for over 21 months she hurt and probably you have left a lasting stain on her trust for any one in the future.. if i was you i would write her a letter thanking her for teaching you a life lesson and let her know you understand why she just cant get over it . and you need to learn and move on , it may be hard but accept this mistake as somthing that has taught you somthing find a woman and discuss it with her in the begining. good luck man im sure your armed with the hurt to know better then hurt somone else.

yes i can, it's called a woman revenge! HELLO!! do you really think she was going to forget about and forgive you... OK i know i would if i had children with the person and everything, but I'm a weirdo. That sounds like a normal woman so... she wanted a ring because she was feeling that's the least she was deserving after you cheated on her. Again, she has started dating someone else because she wants to forget about it and move on. BTW the way you say she insisted on counselling and you finally agreed, sounds like you wanted to save the relationship in the easiest way for you... i wasn't there but sounds like that.

joan w

She tried and tried to forgive you but the betrayal was just too great and she couldn't. She wanted the ring as a sign that you still love her and are committed to the relationship. But she came to realize that the pain you caused her was just too great for forgiveness.
She obviously also used the time in therapy to move on instead of holding on. At least she started dating after filing for divorce, and that is certainly more respect than you gave her!

half insane

she needed re assurance that she was still attractive to other men!

btw he is just her rebound guy!

next time keep it in your pants!!

you had an affair she wanted a bit revenge plain and simple

Barb

Some women will never forgive their spouses for what they did in the past. It is something that is very cruel and very heartless but it happens. No one can actually tell you why she did what she did. Have you asked her?
Why did you buy her a ring if she never forgave you? You know she was putting a guilt trip on you and making you pay for your mistakes.
I realize you are hurting but you need to put this behind you and move on. Your not going to get her back so don't hurt yourself even more by trying to do so.

Nightwish

Why what? Why she wanted an eternity ring? She probably had a moment of weakness. She probably thought she could forgive and forget your betrayal, so she slipped back into relationship mode.

She is well within her right to be weak (you were too when you cheated) and change her mind from time to time. She ultimately made her decision and left you.

Your action had a reaction. Learn from it.

luvlisteningtomusic

Revenge is a ******

Because apparately she thought you where stupid enough to do it, did you?

qti36

It's easy to forgive, it's the forgetting that's the issue. I think at first she probably thought she could continue your relationship, then she realize getting the trust back that you two once share was impossible. You damaged the relationship when you broke your vows. Did you ever get her that eternity ring? Don't blame her for the break up of your marriage. Stand up and admit you destroyed it and learn so the next time you are in a relationship you think twice before you cheat!

Renae

Because you cheated on her. If she would had cheated on you you would have been so MAD AND DEVASTATED. She wanted to get you back and see how you felt. Or maybe she had been having an affair behind your back. Good luck and God bless ya.

Elaine28

To me she wanted to get revenge so she acted like everything
was cool and as soon as she had you back she left

ophelia

The ring was not revenge. The cost of the ring + the time and trauma of marriage counselling + the 21 months she stayed in the marriage do not equate to the cost of the ring itself. Money (jewels, etc.) cannot compensate for hurt. She didn't ask for the ring out of revenge, but as a means of reassurance...she wanted to believe this marriage was for eternity, but all the while she was confused. She didn't know if she could forgive, if the two of you could overcome the past, if she could have feelings for somebody other than you. What she did know is that this wasn't what she had in mind for the two of you and for your marriage. She spent 21 months in limbo and confusion. The ring was a minor detail. Still, I am sorry for your pain. Perhaps look at her departure as her gift to you. 21 months is not a lifetime; she provided both of you with the opportunity for happiness...take her up on it, but steer clear of Tiffany's for a while.

k0005kat@btinternet.com

Because she wants you to know just how dreadful she really felt when you cheated on her---its PAYBACK time!

CÃ£o Bravo

She wanted to get back at you. It seems she was successful.

ani2525

Karma is a ********* !!!
Payback for cheating on her

scarface_710

well it was your fault for having the divorce. shes just out to get you back

goldwing

Some things break and cannot be put back together, no matter how hard we try. Move on with your life. Remember the lessons you have learned. NOT everything has a "do-over."

jiomylove

CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHY SHE SHOULDNT DATE SOMEONE ELSE, OR MOVE ON WITH HER LIFE? YOU ARE SO LUCKY SHE DIDNT STAY WITH YOU AND CHEAT BEHIND UR BACK

mila_p_1999

she wants REVENGE!!

Incredible!

The affair you had was the best excuse and reason for her opportunity for her leaving you.
She doesnt love that much or else if she does, she wouldnt had left not after the counselling.

Dusty

I don't think she was trying to get revenge in any way. 21 months is a long time to wait for revenge.

She did, however, wait 21 months for an eternity ring. Did she ever get it? Did she ever get the validation from you that you loved her? She felt horribly betrayed and gave you a major hint as to how you could soothe some of that pain - buy her an eternity ring. It would not cure what you did but it would have been a symbol of your love for her and your commitment to putting things right.

If you did buy her the ring in the end, I'm sure it had lost its meaning after having spent 21 months begging you for it.

If you did not buy her the ring, then you missed out on an opportunity to make her feel special in some small way.

She probably really wanted to forgive you, but a betrayal like that is haunting and it takes a great deal of strength on both sides to get past it.

Just because she started dating her work colleague does not mean she had been having an affair. She could have had feelings for him before the divorce but did not act on them until after she filed. Whatever happened, you know what you did was wrong. It won't help either of you to move on if you try to find fault with the way she handled it.

Forgive yourself, forgive her and move past it - just don't ever forget what lasting damage an affair can have.

rednecksurfer_roxy

who knows maybe she used your indiscretion to get out of a relationship she no longer wanted to be in, or maybe the guy was just there when she was vulnerable, or who knows..there is a lot of different things that could have happened to get to this result. if it is bothering you a lot then ask her. its a hard conversation to have but if you need to know then ask the source. who knows maybe something positive will come out of a single question and good luck

deni-5

she teaching you a lesson hope you dont do it again

SHONI L

after your heart has been wounded so deeply you tend to loose the ability to make wise decisions with it.. im sure she wanted to forgive you and move on..but now she confused.. im sure she juggled with her emotions and tryed her hardest to grasp the reality of the situation, but you can only hurt for so long..she is probably never going to heal from the damage you caused her...she also could have used this opportunity to justify her own cheating..the marrige is over, learn from your mistakes and be a better person from it..

Texas_at_its_best

Sometimes its hard for us to forgive...we can forget but some just cant forgive you. That is the downfalls of affairs. If you got to cheat then leave the person first. There are alot of emotions that go on, the pain is deep and some just cant shake it.

Help ME

cause weman are complicated

frank c

because you blew it mate!

GAR501

Because you deserve to be messed about.I think she was pretty easy on you actually.You have nobody to blame except yourself !

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