Wife's day off is for cleaning...Husband's day off is for...?

Royalhinney

Oh yeah, I had this problem. The solution was that I did what I wanted to do even if he didn't like it. I work too, so why should my days off be devoted to cleaning? I need to relax too!

Backhoe

He should do his part

ken401lam

Yes, i am the guy. Now the only point you have to get him to understand is the job you work as well.
Some job-require walking and moving stuff.
The point is your body is tired and your brain is good.

Some job-office related require you to be on the phone talking and creating report from nothing.
The point is your brain is dead and your body still can move.

Now my story with my girl is she the top i am the bottom. So she still think cleanning is good and I can't see the point in cleanning. Nevertheless i remodel my room, build two shelf and went shopping.

But you have to understand when the brain is dead. We don't want to think, just tell us what you want, and we do it.
If our body is tired like hell, go away and do it in the weekend.

So the word "day off" is really just seeing who has more energy than the other.

Spilt the work.
You cook and wash dishes, he drive and buy the grocery.
You wash all the clothes, he wash all the cars in the house.

Beside in today's world. Everything should be share. The lady shouldn't do everything.

Uncle Tim

So, let him know what is good for the gander is good for the goose. Kick your feet up on your next "day off" and let the mess around you just happen. You are supposed to be equal partners in your marriage. Let him do the clean up on your days off.

endo_chic

I used to until I told my hubby that he could help with his fair share or it wouldn't get done at all.

It's not fair for you to have to do everything if you also work outside of the home.

Sounds like you need to set some ground rules.

Jen Ortiz

Oh my God- that is my husband too! I come home, pick up my son from day care, cook dinner, do the dishes and a load of laundry, etc. and then I get looked at funny if I leave my shoes on the floor instead of putting them away.
To complete your thought...Husband's day off is for...laying around in his boxers and napping.

Nita and Michael

Girl, i think that's every womans life story...lol...same thing around here, i mean, i'm a stay at home mom so my hubby thinks that i have a day off everyday,,,ya right, i never get to relax or sit down with a house to clean and kids to take care of and dinner to cook and doctor and dentists appointments and grocerys to get and bills to pay and i could go on, but i understand he works but on his day off he gets to just sit around and not worry about a thing, i never get a day off, i just work work work, and never get relax time unless i jump on the computer for ten minutes like now, but it's not peaceful, i got kids screaming and fighting behind me, my hubby asking whats for dinner and when am i getting off of here...ahhhhhhhh....it's crazy but it's life, i say talk to him about how your feeling and see if he can understand and start helping so you can all have relax time, that's what i did and now he at least trys to give me 20 or 30 minutes a day to myself, it's a start...good luck

Mean Carleen

Uh, WHY would you take a day off if it means cleaning? Cleaning is not taking a day off. Next time you take a day off...MEAN IT!!!!

BabeHeart

Have you discussed this with him? Why not both of you spend some time on a few evenings doing the cleaning, so on your days off each of you can relax and not have to worry about what isn't getting done.

Let him know though, if he gets a day off, you do also...

Patricia H

Since I supported my husband for 8 years of marriage and he was "off" every day and I still had to clean the house, take care of the kids etc - I divorced him. Some men are losers and you need to decide if yours is one of them. I'm content with the guy I've got right now - he's a clean-freak and so we both clean!

Puresnow

I don't go to my place of employment on Saturday or Sunday.

Generally, I sleep in and then start the laundry. (My kids are 20, 18, and 14.). I then proceed to play on the computer, or find something I can ignore on TV. In between switching loads from the washer to the dryer, folding and putting away the laundry, I go back to the TV or computer.

I will also clean the bathrooms, the kitchen, and floors, going back and forth during commercials or breaks. I also drive the kids to their activities if they have something going.(the 20 year old is away at college, my 18 year old is high functioning autistic and doesn't drive yet). I cook dinner on Saturday nights.

Sundays I sleep in, and do the same thing again. Except I do the groceries with my daughter, any miscellaneous shopping, prep Sunday night dinner and finish up any project uncompleted on Saturday.

Weekends are much easier since the kids are big now. Little kids made it impossible to catch a half hour Tv or computer time. .... And they needed to be served their meals, too. When the kids were little I was exhausted after weekends and sooo happy to go back to work.

He mows the lawn, washes and changes our bedsheets and carts his kids around when he's off. (His youngest is 13.) He often throws in a load of towels, or some of our laundry,and/or one of the kids' loads of laundry, He also washes whatever dishes are in the sink.

Sometimes he'll fire up the grill and we'll grill something for dinner. He's off during the week.

Since you both appear to be off on weekends, next time he interrupts your down time, and suggests you clean, ask him what he wants done.

Then turn the TV off and say, "If you do the kitchen, I'll do the bathrooms." or whatever it was he wanted.

Just make sure he understands that interrupted down time is interrupted down time. For everyone.

Good luck with this,dear. God bless you and yours.

Latina4life

LOL...I love the question = ) I "WAS" in the same situation, only that I have 2 small children (3 & 1)...I have Sat and Sun off, he has Sun & Mon... I was always cleaning and hubby never doing anything. Just like you, he would say "Its my day off" and start watching tv. So one wkend, I did not do laudry, clean the bathroom, clean my room, living room, etc and when he came home he asked "why didnt you do anything today?" AND what did I say, lol, " Its my day off".. On Monday when I got back from work, he had done laundry and cleaned the house = ) So now we both do chores. I also talked to him about and told him that it wasnt fair for him to be watching tv while I was cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, etc... So he eventually understood me, since we both have full time job...
I hope this helped!! But remember to talk to him and let hum know how you feel = )

shorty19775

Tell him that you would like to have a day off the same as him and not have expectations to always have to clean the house etc.

l33nix

yes I do my brother, if he does not keep giving money out despite the debt he is a bad provider. If he does not does not do construction on the house year round he is lazy and should just hire some crooked contractor of her bidding to do a lousy job with high costs and no completion. he is happy his kids are with him...

~Diz Iz Why Im Hot~

Don't even response to the lazy statement. It's your day off, make it your day off. If the house gets dirty, oh well, it's my day off. If your that hungry, go to McDonalds and leave me alone because it's my day off. Give a little attitude, it will get through to him.

dirtdiva

OMG.. I just had this conversation yesterday. I have just come to realize to choose my battles wisely. I have a good husband that makes 3xs the money I do and that we live comfortably because of him. So if Im not having such a hard day I just do it, if i am I just putt it off until my mood gets better. (FYI... I leave the house)

It makes me feel better though knowing that I keep our home together. I tell my husband that he needs to let me know he appreciates what I do if he doesnt want to help. So he does bragg that he doesnt have to do anything and his friends say he's lucky. So Im good with that.

Just trying to make it

Who cares if he says you are lazy... BE LAZY! If you dont feel like cleaning- then dont! If he doesnt want to help on his day off then ask him on the other nights/days.
My hubby and I have deal... he keeps the outside, lawn , car clean , take out trash, bathe the kids, BBQ.
I do all the inside stuff and cook. I do WAY more but I prefer that over having to mow the grass.
Life is all about compromise!

bethanne

When the weekend comes along, my husband creates his own honey-do list, and not only are the two of us up and around by 9 in the morning, but we'r ealways busy.

While your husband has the same reaction as mine to the two of us taking it easy, my husband feels that when he's dead he can relax.

danniemarie

I work for myself so I sometimes have afternoons off. This was a source of tension since what I liked to do was sit in the backyard on my swing reading a book, getting some sun. Pretty radical huh? But then after supper, I'd go downstairs and do a load or 2 of laundry while we watched T.V. together at night. That way, I had my time, and no one could complain that they had no clean underwear or work clothes. I hate to break it to you, and I don't know how long you've been married, but there is no such thing as a day "off" once you are. Especially if you own your own home. And once you have children, it's even worse. So take some time to do something you enjoy, and take some time to accomplish something you need to do. Try to strike a balance. And don't worry about what he does on his day off, I'm sure he has responsibilities which he has to stay on top of, so he'll have to learn how to budget his own time, without any help from you. We all deserve some pleasure time, even if that means just sitting on the couch and watching a movie. Without it, we're just living to work. Good Luck

billieleann78

If someone does not have that problem I would then worry,how ever it happens and we have to do it all while the other does as he wants so to speak.

donmambo

If you do 60 and him 40 for each 100$( an exemple only),to balance he has to do 60% of the house cleaning and you 40%.That's democracy and justice.Or do nothing both at the days off.

NONAME

well, the house has to get clean some how, wheather you choose to do it during the weak or on your day off, but
ofcourse your husband should do equal work around the house.
House cleaning is an issue in many marraiges, especially new marraiges. You need to make a chore list for both of you. Ofcourse it's not ok for him to sit on his *** while you clean. If he won't help, get a cleaning lady to come in so you can both enjoy your day off.

bubblebee

you need to discuss with your husband that you need free time to relax too :).. the next time he says you are lazy ask him to run the sweeper.. help with the dishes... otherwise tell him to be quiet..and perhaps go out with your friends instead of staying at home.. you have the same freedom... as your husband..and perhaps you would want to juggle chores..with your husband.. best of luck..you will most likely need it lol :)

Alee256

Yeah, it's like you live at your workplace when you're a homemaker.

I guess when you get a "day off" he should help you out some so that things don't get too far behind. Good luck with that one though. We usually aren't happy with the way the guys do housework and they aren't happy to do it in the first place! Ha!

missblu7

you are not alone i think all women have this problem with there other halves they ask them to do something and they always have an excuse why they shouldn't do it or they get sick of waiting they do it there self

nancy

you are reading my mind!!!! I am in this same position. I have tried to get as much cleaning done the day before my day off, so when he asks what i am doing on my day off, i reply with " i just got all the cleaning and errands ran the day before because i just need some time to relax on my day off. I work nights and he complains that I sleep ALL DAY, but on his days off he takes a nap,because"he worked all week" go figure!

nambenative

Helllllo..?? of course...pi**es me off! i pretty much say you dont like it ? too bad so sad ...MY day off ...but so that you dont chop off the nose to spite the face things have to be caught up the whole week and kept in control - if there is a major project, do it together ...

We had this struggle, so we decided upon things that are the man's job and the woman's.
My husband is a bit different, he would rather fully clean the house every 2-3 weeks (but doesnt deep clean like I do weekly), than waste a Saturday. I would rather pick up and clean daily to avoid a big day-long cleaning fit.
Talk to him about how the house is his responsibility too. Ask him what he thinks his job is other than income, because it sounds like you work too.

sylviavnpttn

just a simple solution, two days off- hire a house cleaner for one of those days then voila clean house- days off to enjoy.

.plastique hearts.

Well that's not right. If he gets to sit on his *** doing nothing on his day off, then why can't you? Have you asked him this? Because I would love to know his response... :|

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