Wife had a go at me over THIS??? What is going on inside her head?

Daveygravey

She was probably embarrassed and tried to cover up by blaming you to try and relieve it a little. Around that time yes women are very sensitive and emotional - therefore prone to flare up about irrelevant things!

As for the arguing - maybe you should try discussing chores and fairness around another time of the month!

A and L D

If they were people she didn't know she was probably embarrssed and the easy way out of embarrassment is to blame someone else. I think she's being a little unreasonable, it was her that left the offending item in the first place.
Also, how are you supposed to know what she has left around, are you expected to do a reccy every time you have visitors? Can't she do that to?Sounds like she had a shitt y day at work and took it out on you. Wait until she is 'normal' and then talk to her, lay ya cards on the table. marriage should be a pleasure, not a chore.
Next time, stick her on the sofa.

I think this sums it up nicely......................
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Rachel

She needs to chill out, she sounds really up-tight. Don't try to make her feel better by doing everything she says, otherwise she will think she can control you. You are a person with feelings to, she needs to respect you too. Relationships are about compromise.

ladybird

Why don't you ask her?

ivette

Take her out for dinner, around the time she is in a bad mood, bring her flowers once a while, tell her she looks good or i love you, when she is mad the best you can do is tell her hunny what ever you say i love you and smile that will make her melt :)

mightyginger

sounds like she maybe bit depressed.i know men have trouble talking the DMC talk, but it might help if you were gently honest that her behaviour is wrecking your marriage!

chocolateface

no you're right. that's not acceptable or fair, even if it's her time of the month.

Daniel

Sounds like you two need a little time together without work or kids. Take a vacation with her, reignite the flame. In answer to your question, it aint the wrapper its something else. Talk to her, find out. Dont give up, you guys had a reason to be together, these things dont go away, they just get buried. Dig up your original love, brush it off, and try again.

edd_the_fed

Sounds like youve married my first wife!
She was the same, even controlled my money, eventually she started to hit me, as this was the late 80's and I was a lot bigger than her I didnt tell anyone, who would believe me?
Now male domestic violence is recognised, and it doesnt need to be actual physical violence.
If you have these issues then it may be worth trying relate or similar, if it gets too bad then you will have to leave and call it quits.
Statistics show that a lot of theses cases turn into murder as one party will snap.
As a police officer I could name half a dozen couples of whom one will shortly die. They fight, split up, report each other and then get back together.
She could also try the doctors, but whatever you do dont start to think that its your fault as a lot of aggressors will make you think that.
Good luck

COLIN F

i think that your wife is depresed and probly need medication when its that time of the month some woman suffer dreadfully i would sugest that to her that it may benifit her to make a doctors appointment to see if she needs some sort off hormone treatment

There is usually one dominant one in a relationship and its not you! She should pick up after herself but wont if you do it for her. Take her for a nice meal, have a bottle of wine and when you are both relaxed TIME TO TALK! You must tell her what you are feeling, its when you dont that you are in trouble. I know, Ive been married 33 years and if you dont communicate your problems you will split up for sure.

great_warrior2007

1st of all stop being a door mat. If u let urself be then everyone is gonna walk all over u. If sh is not the woman u married then get some counselling both of u. Then u will see from a professionals point of view where ur marriage is going wrong.

â™¥â˜†enigmaâ˜†â™¥

we are funny creatures at that time of the month, i wont lie to you. we cant tell you what goes on in our head because i dont think we really know, we are just easly agrovated.
you should talk to her when she is good and calm and tell her how you feel, how she makes you feel.

MONIQUE B

When a women is going through her time of month there are many cases of women going through war paths hahah but I think that she needs to express this to her GYN b/c this could cause a big problem in you guys marriage. Also the wrapper thing is crazy. She has to calm her nerves. It was a accident n her behalf not yours; man you got your hands full. If I was a man and my wife acted in that way during her cycle I would go away once a month haha. wish you luck !!!

Josh

she sounds too high maintanence

get rid, much more fun being with someone who's easy going, and you enjoy life with - life's too short

unless you have kids, inwhich case think carefully

((LOON))

Time of the month thing is real DODGY ground mate!!!
I used to live in the garage at that point!!!
My partner has now ended that cycle due too age but there was very nearly a for sale sign in the garden during her menopause!!
She seems better now but it wouldn't take much for her mind to flip??

Dill

That's a difficult one. Could just be the time of the month when a women goes a bit nuts sometimes because of her hormones or there could be more to it than that. You need to talk to her lovingly and find out if there is a problem or not. Probably best if you both go out to dinner and talk then, not at home. That way no one will shout or walk off. Good Luck.

misskelleygirl

I know we are so hard to understand...especially during The Crimson Tide.

But please let me plea a case here...

We HATE acting this way. We HATE that we fly off the handle...That we are grumpy...Pudgy (From water retention)...

WE HATE IT ALL!

But we have no choice...we are Girls...and thus, go through this every stinkin' month.

I know for myself, I try so hard to control the emotional roller coaster. But I am not always successful (Way less than successful!).

It's amazing, how we can actual feel the waves of hormones, surging through us...Rage...Overwhelming sadness...Helplessness...

And we simply can hardly do anything about it.

For some...it's worse, than for others. He11, some cycles...I hardly feel a twinge of roller coaster!

But others...good golly, I want to crawl into bed...and never come out!

I appreciate that you try and "tread lightly" around your wife, during her time...She appreciates too!

She's surely crampy and head achy...and feeling icky about herself, for having 3lbs of water weight, floating around her middle!!

Just please trust me when I say...She's didn't have a good evening either.

Call her up...tell you love her, and that you can't wait to see her tonight.

She'll love it!!

(And you will be a hero in her mind!)

yummy mummy

I'm sorry things arent happy for you atm, but my husband has just said that the time of the month does it to most women, he just told me i turned from an angel into something big hairy and green with a tail and horns. But guess what? I didnt realise it. lol

its very difficult to fall into a rut and not know how to get out so you just go round and round thinking it will get better, obviously i think this stems more than it just being the time of the month for your partner. do you have kids or get to spend time 'together' by that i mean, get to go out and have a drink or see a movie, chill out etc?

uh oh i need to dash as m 2 year old is writing on the walls so my hubby who is trying to sleep after a nights work will hear me shouting in a minute.lol

i hope things work out for you hun i have my fingers crossed for you
x

Twizzle

Not all women are like this at the time of the month... you have to know that.

She is probably just in general not happy, or doesn't think you do enough so that when she gets grumpy the those thoughts multiply.

This doesn't sound that its a marriage that can last... if you went to marital counseling the marriage will either be getting better, or you will realize it just won't work.

You are not off track on this... and perhaps you need to decide if this marriage is going to work or not and make your decision from there.

=))

Oh dear!!
What a lucky woman she is! (she does sound very spoilt according to your description above).

Anyway,as a woman myself, I know we become very sensitive during period,very little thing could irritate me or upset me. And, indeed, I don't really need a " proper reason" to lose my temper at those times. haha...
I did tell my husband sorry and always warned him beforehand "please leave me alone if I am being grumpy during those period...".
Guess you just have to try to "ignore" this period thing, or "understand" it a bit more no matter how unreasonable she is.

About your house chores, well....it's sounds to me, you are the tidy one in your house. well. you can try to talk to her, but i doubt if it works if she's been spoilt by you so far.

I think, open up to each other is important, communicate with her when she's in good mood.

good luck

melanie_lanc

Sorry to hear this. I must admit first I am a bit like her when I have my time of the month. Let me tell you how I feel. I feel bad basically every moment, up to a point that I hate being myself (a woman). I have to find somebody to express my hatred and my husband is the only one in the house! I make a mountain out of a hill and blame the other person what something I should do.

Knowing this is not right, I still do it because I use it to express my anger and frustrations towards my husband for other things in life. This is the opportunity to find him at fault. He does his share of housework (like you) but so? I never really feel his love towards me, he thinks he is good by doing the housework but to me, i need his love and care. I used these opportunities to make him express his "love" to me more.

He of course thinks he has nothing wrong by earning money and paying the bills and doing the housework.

So, is there some underlying problem that hasn't been sorted out? some greivances and frustrations perhaps? does she feel your love enough to give you the respect? mind you, she has to feel your love her way, not your way.

hope it doesn't add more burden to you, this is just my feeling when I read your post. Good luck.

plumblossom_inc

persinally it was her business and she was wrong to blame you after all you are a man with out those monthly problems, but I think people who use this as a cop out to argue are not happy, too stressed and need a break. may I suggest a vacation? Of course women are also prone to forgetfulness during this time of the month as well. But it is still no excuse to blame you for it.

Dolly

Nope i don't think she can blame not pickin up after herself on that time of the month sorry........she's just lazy and moody in general by the sounds of it chicks........good luck wit that.......xx

carriegreen13

It sounds like during the one time of the month, your marriage is struggling, and it sounds like during the other times of the month, your marriage is fine.

A lot of women are affected in so many ways by that time of the month, please try to understand that is is hormones and she could be suffering from a severe bout of Pre-Menstural Syndrome, and I would recommend that she make an appointment for her doctor, so her doctor could recommend her medication that would help with her hormonal issue, and get it under control.

Believe me, a lot of women suffer from this, and once they get help, then it calms them down and it keeps the hormones under control.

I would make an appointment for her to see her doctor.

Believe it or not, I bet she hates this as much as you do.

GorGeous_Girl

oh dear.... doesnt sound good....

i am sorry you are in this state.

i get PMT too and my husband treads carefully when i am particularly in a bad mood during 1-2 days of the month, but i know to snap out of it, and not push him too much

your wife is just taking the p*ss i am afraid, you cannot be expected to clear her sanitary product wrapers !! Thats crazy !!

you have got to talk to her - dont argue, dont shout, dont do taunts or say things like 'i am not your maid' .... try also not to be the dominating 'man of the house act' or by the sounds of it she will go all defensive and argumentative.

talk to her nicely, in a calm manner, if she gets angry, dont rise to her, just remain calm and tell her that you two need to talk like adults and you dont want her to behave like an irresponsible child

tell her that you love the home you have built with her - and your home is your both's responsibility - to keep it clean, livable and beautiful. one person cannot be responsible for everything in the house. you have to share. you both have to have rules (we have them! )

any clothes that need washing go in the washing basket. NO EXCEPTIONS. i usually do the washing - but hubby does the hoovering in the weekends. i do the cooking, he clears up. its simple !! if he cooks, i help clear up. that way both do some work, no one feels burdened, one person doesnt end up being knackered, and you can both chat and giggle whilst you are doing the chore ! then you can make a cup of tea and relax.

remember marriage is all about compromise, respect, understanding, giving space, getting close and above all loving each other. and you BOTH need to do this.

good luck and hope you can knock some sense into the woman !

icook4u99

My first question would be: Did you even go into the room, and did you see it there without picking it up? If you didn't go into the room, then she is certainly being unreasonable. If you saw it, you probably should have picked it up, even if to save your visitors' embarrasment instead of your wife's. I know that it is possible to go into a room and not see something, too. If that would be the case, then you may want to let her know that you didn't even see it.

I disagree that she should have yelled at you for something that she is responsible for - nearly everyone on Earth is responsible for cleaning up behind themselves. By this point in her life, I would hope that she is normally in the habit of taking care of that kind of issue and that this was out of the norm leaving THAT kind of thing somewhere. I think she owes you an apology for that. This being said, I disagree that you should have fueled the argument by saying what you did. Marriage is all about compromise, forgiveness, and working problems out. Sometimes, even if you are not at fault, you may need to take the wind out of her fight by responding gently - perhaps in this case with an "I'm sorry that you may have been embarrassed. If I had seen it, I would have taken care of it." Especially if it is a silly thing. Once she is calmed down and in her "right" mind, you may be able to discuss the issue so that it is handled better the next time a "silly thing" comes up.

As a wife, myself, I would like to say that I'm sure she appreciates your doing the laundry and picking up. I certainly appreciate it when my hubby or kids does something to help me out - especially if I don't have to hound them about doing it. Sometimes being a spouse is a thankless job, so I'll say thank you if she doesn't.

lisa d

mu hubby says i turn into a different person on my time of the month and he stays clear lol , but a relationship is give and take but if you keep doing everything for her why should she bother , try doing a bit less

byAMOR.etsy.com

On one hand, the imbalance of hormones can make pmt sufferers act completely irrationally and if your wife is indeed a sufferer, well, it is a valid excuse, though an unfortunate one for you both...but ONLY at that time of the month. However, the real question is, what is happening the rest of the month..and why do you do all the housework and pick up after her?? You are nobody's slave. Maybe a spot of counselling would help you if you believe your marriage is worth saving.

By the way, if it is PMT, has she tried talking to her doctor and/or tried natural remedies to help balance her hormones?

MissE

As a woman suffering from PMS and cramps I know what she is going through. Your suggestion to walk is actually a good one.
For me if I feel hormonal I let my SO know and not to take notice, I realise that I am snappy and hold back as much as I can. I do extra exercises and that helps a lot as does a warm shower or bath.

However! This is more than PMS. The time of the month aggravates it. What I have told my SO is that though I know I am unreasonable at that time I also know that the issues I feel like bringing up are real. Just blown up outside any reasonable proportion. I wait until it has subsided and then address the issues involved.
When fights are involved over silly things it is but a symptom of something much deeper. What it is I do not know She needs to communicate them to you.

princess charlie

"The time of the month" is hard work but I hate women who use it as an excuse to abuse people. My partner is very sensitive around "that time" but I wouldn't abuse that. Her mess, she should tidy it up. Its nice that you are trying so hard but don't be taken for a mug honey.

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