Wife has asked for separation , I have children ages 4 and 6 and I am sole provider now. What now?

von C

If your wife wants to separate then let her leave. If she wants to be a big girl, let her. Empty your bank accounts b4 she does cuz it WILL happen. That means tell her to find a job and find some where else to live and since your children are already stable in the house ask her to leave them with you. Or you can leave the house and all the bills with her. Take your name off of everything. Electric, water everything and have it all put in her name so you are no longer responsible.

To me, she sounds like she is just using this as a scare tactic. So scare her.
I know how hard it is to raise 2 kids and being the only provider and it is NO picnic!

Why don't you try working it out with counseling. The kids are the ones that will suffer.

txmama423

Since your wife doesn't work & if your state has alimony, you will be required to pay that for a period of time after the divorce. During your separation, you will need to help maintain home for children until divorce is final. If you have family or friends near by, try living w/them so you don't have $$$ coming out that you can't afford for rent & utilities. Offer to give an amount you can afford for living expenses to your family/friends; Its rough on kids, you & your wife; Just be patient & don't rush into things. Separation doesn't always mean divorce. Everyone needs breathing room sometimes when we get overstressed from all the responsibilities of our lives. Also, if you aren't helping much w/kids & home, try taking some of that stress off her. Suggest maybe she find a part time job or volunteering situation to help her. I hope it will work out for you & your family.

sweetgranny06

well you will have to pay childsupport and bills that is in your name she will pay if any is in her name

Aimes

All you do is pay child support. If she can't support the kids past that then she should hand over custody to you.

i_ate_sponge_bob

You are not responsible for her bills, you would only have to pay child support if you divorce.

J.J.

Well...

thats where sitting down in mediation during your divorce comes into play. You have to still talk and make two sepereate households (because of the kids). You will have to sell the house and divide belongings in half. You may have to pay for everything for awhile but you can fight that in court and the judge will force her to get a job.

Also..it depends on how many years you have been married.

Here is CA..the usual is...

Married for less than 5 years.. you walk with what you walked in with.
Married for more than 5 years..usually child support, sell the house and divide the profits.
More than 10 years..Alimony, Child suppor, half of everything.

â˜…â˜…pixieâ˜…â˜…

It depends on your state, In California she would get half of everything you have acquired throughout your marriage. You will have to pay child support most likely unless you file for full physical custody and if that gets granted to you she will most likely have to pay you child support. You will not be responsible for the house bills that will all be included in your child support payments. There is a possibility that she could apply for alimony. Which is support you would pay her on top of your child support. Personally I don't think women should do that but that's another story. Your best bet is to get your own lawyer, so the judgment will be fair. With some women you need a good lawyer so they wont take you for everything you have. Good Luck. (and remember how hard this is for your kids, don't let the divorce get nasty for their sake).

GUY bein' a GUY

Dude,
Tell her that she is the one that wants to leave its on her to move.
Oh, and that also means leave the kids with you.

Go away and have at life without my support or kids.

lost_soul_out_ofplace

It depends how good your attorney is. I have seen guys coming out on top and not having to pay any thing, and then I have seen them pay for child support(which you should if you are the father) and alimony for the ex-wife( which I think should have a time limit say six months to a year). When you go to court just follow your attorneys advice and you should be fine. I am sorry that you are having to go through this.

starcat

I always feel so sad when I see couples with children planning for a divorce. Is there no way to save your marriage? Your attorney will basically answer all the obligatory questions you may have. But I wonder if both you and your wife have asked enough questions concerning staying together?

It seems obvious you love each other or you wouldn't have two children by now. I don't mean to be nosey...but is there no compromising? No working on your differences or what may be lacking in the marriage?

Divorce with children involved is a very long, emotionally and financially draining situation. Not to mention the scars it leaves on everyone, especially children. People are so quick to throw in the towel when they hit bumps in the road...but that's what makes a marriage stronger. Being able to face those bumps and difficult times...and work through them together.

I don't think anyone here could answer your questions concerning finances. Each state is different with separations and divorces as well. Your attorney is the best one to discuss these issues with.

Hoping for the best for you and your family.

blueberry

you pay for everything and she gets half of what you have

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