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whaddajoke
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What kind of question is this?
You basically set up an arrangement where this guy can walk at any time and you can't get child support unless you start from scratch, and now you don't want to mess up his life to get the child support?
Do you need the child support? If yes, then forget putting a label on yourself and fight for what your daughter needs and her father's RESPONSIBILITY to provide.
You're gonna have to get one hell of a lot tougher than you are to make it through the teenage years! |
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Bill
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You won't be a homewrecker, but he has no objections to being a kid starver.
No, you need to take care of your kid. So does he. Establish paternity legally and hold his feet to the fire. |
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dolphin2253
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I would call or pay him a visit. He shouldn't have gotten you pregnant in the first place. He cannot run from or ignore his responibilites. |
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PrideBoi81
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No, you are not a homewrecker. You have every right to collect child support. If you have to take him to court, but if you didn't name him on the birth certificate, it may be an uphill battle because he could say that you never told him she was his. I hope you saved some checks and had him sign an agreement saying he'll pay as proof he knows.
Contact a family court lawyer or child support collection agency. ASAP. |
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Ms. GTO
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No, you will not be a homewrecker...you are only trying to ensure that your daughter's father lives up to his obligation as a parent.
Go and file child support against him, NOW. His personal life is irrelevant...just because he may have a new wife and child doesn't mean he's off the hook with you. |
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sarah71397
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he has an obligation to your child so do things officially and dont feel guilty he has'nt for 6 mnths has he?? |
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Coolmama
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That is not being a homewrecker |
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GirlInMassachusettTOWN
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He screwed you over, so why are you worried about "screwing him over" which you wouldn't be!! Do what you think is right for YOUR family and your child...not what you think is right for him, because obviously he is not hte best person in the world to deal with. |
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Sugar
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I would suggest that you file for legal child support. If you can afford it, get an attorney to handle all of this for you. You are not a home wrecker, your daughter comes first before any relationship he may have. If he has another child that doesn't mean he just forgets about your daughter. |
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kelsbells19@sbcglobal.net
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Forget him, not altogether but just try to stay away from him. Instead focus on your young daughter and perhaps start up a new relationship with someone who loves your daughter and you. |
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IMHO
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Not a homewrecker! |
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Faith
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You need to collect child support for your child. Don't worry about what else he's doing. You have your child's future--all the way until college--to deal with. It's your responsibility collect her support. I'd suggest you contact the attorney general's office in your state. |
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Yoda
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If you want to be a mother to your child you need to do whatever you have to to get this person re-involved and get things official. He convinced you to keep things under wraps to protect himself not her or you. He used and fooled you. Time to wake up and start doing things on the up and up.
Yoda out |
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box of rain
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You simply need to start making good decisions in your life.
Get a good family law attorney, and get all these "agreements" made mandatory by the courts.
Good luck. |
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WakeboardGal4Life
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if he has another child that is no reason to stop sending cs and seeing his first child. dont go over there phone for him, if he is living with someone else dont tell them who you are just ask for him. |
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M. McFly
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First, you are NOT a home wrecker. You are seeking support for your daughter. From reading the courses of action this man has pulled on you, it is pretty evident that your daughter's father is trying to dodge his child support duties. (i.e. changing the father's name on birth certificate, no contacts for 6 months, changed cell phone without notifying you)
You need to contact the child's father and speak to him. If he refuses to speak to you and live up to his responsibilities, you need to contact your area's district attorney and file a lawsuit. Being married or engaged does not absolve anybody from any prior issues he needs to deal with. I strongly suggest you take action immediately while he is still in town.
Try to contact Vinny at his new home. If you want to make it delicate, you may have a close guy friend, mutual friend, or family member call him. If he is denying that he is the father or not wanting to speak with you, you can ask the court for a paternity test. Since Vinny seems to be avoiding you, chances are he will not be happy hearing about you or your daughter. If this is the case, contact your local court so you can send him a summons. While you are at the district attorney's office, you can also request free legal counsel. They should be able to give you more information on what you need to do next.
Good luck and I wish you and your daughter the best. |
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that judi
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This is a perfect example of why there should be no "deals" in
naming paternity. ANy "under the table" baloney serves ONLY the biol father, who know has no legal obligation to follow thru on anything. Best get an atty and protect your childs interest, albeit AFTER the fact. Hope you learned a lesson here... |
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NIH
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I would try to contact him on the phone to find out why he hasn't seen his daughter or paid child support. Either way, you need to get a court order to make sure you get the child support no matter what his personal life entails now. Your only concern should be that your daughter is taken care of financially and her father has the opportunity to be a part of her life. |
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ms01
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ok if he isnt supportive now then he might not ever be. but if you go after him for child support then he can also get rights with your daughter. do you really want to share her. my ex husband payed and didnt want anything to do with my kid until she got old enough to do everything on her own . now he makes her life a living hell. i would just do it all alone so your kid wont ever have to go through what mine does. |
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working.fool
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For the sake of your daughter, you need to contact this man. She is what matters, not any new life he might be making. She's not a scandal or an inconvenience, she's a person who needs caring for. Anyone he's with will get used to that idea, but will be angry because he lied by omission -- not your fault! Talk to him or his family. |
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just me
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I would try to contact him away from home first and get the real story.
If that's not possible, I am not sure.
find a way to get him alone. |
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tiuliucci
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Wait a second here. He is the father of your child and is responsible for her care and you are worried about his personal affairs? Why?
He was just as involved in bringing your daughter into the world as you were. Maybe he does not want the world to know, but tough luck. He should not have slept with you if he did not want to have any children out of wedlock.
I would call him and tell him that if he does not pay child support you will file for non-payment in the court. If he even wrote one check to you, that can be used as proof that he has paid in the past. A paternity test can be done to prove that he is the father.
There is no easy way out for him. I cannot believe that you have let him get away with this garbage for so long in the first place.
Take care,
Troy |
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wildflower
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My ex-husband is ON our son's certificate and he sort of dropped of the map in 1999. He hasn't paid CS in years. He hasn't seen our son since first grade..... he'll be a senior NEXT year. (He's an honor student.)
Let me tell you what I LIKE about NOT dealing with the Ex:
My son has had ONE home & ONE set of rules.
We didn't have to do that "First, Third & Fifth weekend" rule.
We didn't have to argue about the holidays.
We haven't spent allot of time and money arguing about money.
It WOULD be really nice to have the back CS, but I have observed parents who focus on money more than the child's best interest.... doesn't appear very happy to me.
Even if he was on the birth certificate, it wouldn't guarantee that you would get the money. Papers cannot MAKE someone behave responsibly.
It is a GIFT to have a child. Some people are aware of this right away, some aren't.
If you can do without the money and the drama, I would suggestion you focus on your blessings.....
I see my son and I think, "Wow, my EX really missed out".... and I did TRY to maintain contact, but he's still dealing with the same issues he was when I left him YEARS ago.
Overall, my son and I have been better off without him or his money. |
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uneekqamar2004
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You should have filed for child support despite what he says because now things are a mess. Your daughter doesn't deserve this treatment but she deserves to be taken care of by both parents. Do the responsible thing for your daughter. |
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sweet_cool_chick07
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Do you need the money that bad?...if you do i would report him...if you dont id just let the loser go his own way...seems like hes not someone your daughter would really benefit from anyways...id let him go on his way. |
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Chels
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i would call him first and ask him what he is doing, if he wants to hang out with his child, or if he has just desided to stop paying for some reason, if he doesnt talk to you, or anything, you know what has happened, i would go and take a visit to him, but be aware that he could call the cops for tresspassing |
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Karen
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It doesn't make you a home wrecker it just makes you seem not too smart to agree to that stuff...Good luck, you'll be raising that child on your own permanently! |
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I Need To Know
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to long to answer |
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No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
