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Would You Leave Your Husband If He Had No Respect For You?
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Would You Leave Your Husband If He Had No Respect For You?

For Example: name calling, putting his name on singles net, telling you that you have to go to the hospital because you have mental problems? Runs up his credit to the max and you haven't contributed to this debt.
Additional Details
To Ny Yanks Girrl He started becoming like this about a year after we were married, otherwise there's no way I would have married him knowing he was like that.


    




Scarlett and Sams mom
Rating
I was engaged to a man like that. There came a time when I stated to believe all the things he was saying and I truly felt like I was not strong enough to leave. Then I was afraid that no one else would want me and maybe he was the best that I could do.
A lot of little girls believe that love is magical and fairytale like and wonderful. I remember when he told me, "Real lif is not the ******* high school prom." I was crushed! I felt so stupid to think that love was ever going to be that way. But eventually I got tired of the abuse and mistreatment. Don't kid yourself. That is exactly what it is - abuse - mental and verbal and it very often escalates. Sometimes those things hurt more than being hit. Men like that try to tear you down - often because they feel threatened.
I can't tell you what to do but I will tell you this. When I finally decided I could not take it anymore and I left, I found a strength in me that I did not know existed. God loves me and I deserve to be treated with love and respect and somewhere along the way, I had forgotten that. It is hard to find that strength sometimes and it is hard breaking up and leaving what you thought was your soulmate, but do you want to spend your life feeling the way you do now? And do you want to bring children into that situation? No one deserves to be treated that way. I will tell you that because I found that strength in me and learned to love myself, support myself, and be by myself without needing to be in a relationship, the right man DID come along and love me and respect me and is a good person and an amazing father. Don't beat yourself up - sounds like he did that enough already, but be glad that this situation was placed in front of you to grow and to find your strength. You deserve better and I promise, it is out there.
I also did some free counseling at a domestic violence organization. I would encourage you to do that too. It was really helpful in learning how to empower myself.


Tim
reflect what the marriage vows say and you got the answer, irrespective what kind of husband one has.


.
Rating
I'll seeking for help first, take counselling. Because we christian never believe in divorce. If he love u and want a happy family with you, he'll try harder.
If he's not, just leave him.
You should give a try first, because if you not, he'd think that it's OK, everything is fine, you just fine and that he's right.
Abuse will never stop if you not stop it yourself. Yes, what your husband did to you is abuse. Sooner or later, he'll do more damage to you if you dont take action.
Talk to him. Warn him that he hurt you. Take counselling.

Good luck with your marriage.


Sophie
Yes I would. In fact, I did.:) My ex husband called me horrible names for years whenever we argued. He also made it clear on a daily basis that he was superior and far more intelligent than me. Luckily, he was very responsible with money, so I did not take any mutual debt with me when I left the marriage. When I finally realized that I was perfectly capable of being on my own and having a happier life, I left. I have not looked back, nor have I regretted my decision. I am now with a man who treats me wonderfully and am happier than ever. Ending a marriage is a sad situation, but living your life with someone who treats you horribly is such a waste. I wish you the best of luck with your situation.:)


Maureen
Yes. Why would anyone continue to subject themselves to treatment like that?

Unless it was a new thing, out of the blue. Then, I would try talking to him about it, investigating, trying to figure out how/when/why the change occured, trying to see if there was something wrong in his life that I could help him with, because, knowing my husband as I do, I know that he would not *want to* be behaving that way - would not be happy with himself if he was acting like that.


ohmygosh
Try marriage counseling first... divorce is so drastic! If that doesn't work divorce might be the only way to go: (

I'm glad to hear that you sound like you know you have self-worth and that you are not letting him bring you down. The biggest problem I would have is him putting his name on singles.net... that is very, very wrong!!!

Also, the credit debt is something you have to watch out for! What's he buying??? You don't want to be responsible for it, so if your a joint cardholder, it might be best to get the account closed.


elb366
Rating
Please take some time away from Yahoo Answers and spend some time packinghis things. Leave his clothes and his sorry but on the curb.


AHHA
good quote..


"before you give up, remember why you held on for so long"


1 Hot Photographer
It sounds like you married my Ex-husband. Is his name Dan?


Bethany I
Rating
OMG! If you look up the word 'ABUSER' his picture should be there as an example.
You can contact the IRS and file what is called "innocent spouse" which means any debts he runs up in his name will be his sole responsibility.
Now, get the hell out of this marriage before he completely destroys you, and get counseling.
Good luck hon


Bongernet
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Well, I am a guy but I see your point. Your husband is supposed to be your partner, your friend...not some a-hole calling you names.


How can I help?
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Well I think I would try other alternatives like talking to him and telling him that the way he makes you feel makes you wanna leave. That might be a eye opener. If that didnt work, try the famous conseling route, if that didnt workl and really gave your all to the marriage but it is still in fault, then leave. But yes Respect is a MUST in marriage.


messijessi
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First, I would try to work with him. And if he dosen't get better show you don't care. Then if he still dosen't change then I think you can leave him. But it's not just boyfriend-girlfriend anymore.


Nia F
Yes, yes, yes!

One of the foundations of relationships (any relationship) is respect.


Little Flower
yes..and have...my dear. I have debt too from a loan and credit card that was used for family and all my wages went into the pot. Now i am gone and going to sort out my life and live simple and clean and pick my friends very wisely. I have learned alot from this. NOthing is ever wasted in life but if a person gets no respect from another and is able to leave the situation...LEAVE...it will only get worse and worse...he sees you as his whipping post. SCOOT...FAST...GET HELP..LOADS OF IT OUT THERE..I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY..WAITED TOO LONG..GOOOOOO. GOD SPEED!!


ChocLover
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Absolutely, you don't deserve to be treated like this


jlcjills
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Everyone has a line that they don't allow others to cross. It sounds like he has crossed yours. Be careful, think things through slowly. Is it all negative, does he ever make you feel good about yourself? Is it something that good old fashioned communication can work out? If not, you know what you have to do. But first remember you are a great person deserving of respect, you deserve whatever makes you happy.


Ray2play
I'd leave.


Shibi
I'd be out of there in a blink. That's a bad situation. Go!


Allison
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Yes!
If his behaviour hurts you. If you have asked him to stop and he is unwilling to change.
Don't stay for the sake of children. In the end they will respect you more and grow up to be better human beings.


johanne
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Why are you still with him. If he has no respect for you, then get out and tell him where he can stick his credit cards, dont' let him distroy your life. Get out while you can...


princessandie1984
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definitely! every human being out there deserves respect. and in turn every human being should show respect. a relationship is a commitment to one another. on any level, marriage, or just exclusively dating; the two of you are in it for eachother. sounds like you need to get going while the going is good and find someone who shows you basic human courtesy.


Maria
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Absolutely.


Sweet Suzy 777!
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If he is putting his name on singles net he is committing infidelity on you. Go on line to 'On line infidelity' read all about it.


lunatic
A woman who does not leave under those conditions has no respect for herself.

No wonder the man has none.


starbucksismygod
Yes.
I'd leave.

I think that mental abuse is just as bad, if not worse, than physical abuse. And I'd also leave after any man touched me in a harsh way.

We are all too good to put up with mental abuse.
Free yourself of this depressing state so that you can enjoy life to the fullest.


Brenda M
Rating
Try counseling. They will try and help you understand why he is doing these things. Sounds to me like a desperate cry for attention. Also you guys don't sound like you are communicating. Don't leave until you have exhausted every possible source available to you, that you can find. Marriage is supposed to be forever. Pray for him.


heygirl8379
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Hell yeah....Print out all those sites that he is listing himself single and get whatever other evidence of his emotional abuse. And RUN like hell.... to a divorce lawyer!!! it can only get worse if you stay


Heather
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I know it's easier said then done but YES!
A marriage should be about love, respect,& communication. You are not getting any of that! There are many men out there that would treat you so much better than he is. Let him know how you feel and if he doesn't change you are gone!
Stick to it and if he doesn't then leave him.. IF he really cared he wouldn't be tring to meet others online or calling you names and making you feel bad about yourself! He wants you to not like yourslef so he can have his control over you and you'll deal with his crap... Don't let it happen.. Get out!!


₤Э\/Ĩ†¥
yes


tellthetruth
Rating
yes I would do you think you are worth more than that why are women so afraid of being a lone it wonderful being alone until God has that good guy to find you , you are not suppose to look the bible says when a man finded a women.... I 'am feeling so sad for all these women with all these problems it makes me want to cry for you all you are allowing these men to do these things to you thats why they keep doing it to other because someone allows them to do it once be blessed hurting one





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