Would it be so wrong if...?

Loss Leader

Your question is very confusing. You don't trust your husband, you know he's been talking to other women, he hides his emails, he won't tell you what he's doing, and he's starting a dating service - and you want to know if he should have to use a different computer?

Why are you putting up with this treatment?

Either you trust your husband or you don't. You don't. So, you must ask yourself whether you're better off staying with a person you don't trust and who is not open with you or are you better off getting rid of him? If you choose to stay with him, it shouldn't matter what computer he uses. You already KNOW he's doing stuff you wouldn't approve of. If you choose to leave him, take the computer if you want.

But to stay, not trust him and fight about it? That makes no sense.

Goodspeed

No it would not be wrong but I don't think its going to make anything right...It appears he is trying to mix business with pleasure and he is his best customer, that would be your job. Don't let this carry on to far, he needs a wake up call right now in order to make him open his eyes and realize what he is looking for on the internet is sitting right before his eyes and its called his wife!

Charlie

why are you going to do that when your on-line? do you think that it would be fair if he where to do the same to you?

THFC

dont let him on the computer or setup a secret camera which can see the screen so that u can see what he is looking at

Unfrozen Caveman

leave his ***

celticwoman777

If by family you mean he's doing this on the same computer your children use, by all means, deny away! Shame on him for taking chances exposing his children to "his dirty work." Both parents should be protecting their children, not endangering them. Clearly you have to protect them from their father.

It doesn't sound like you have much of a marriage at this point. You need to talk turkey with him. If he refuses to listen you have your answer. If I were you I'd be documenting his behavior. If you should decide to separate you wouldn't want him having visitation with the kids if he's going to continue doing what he's doing now. You better be able to prove it in court.

Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. Tell him your marriage and family are important to you. That married couples don't have these kinds of secrets. You'll know soon enough if there's anything left to save.

irishcreaminator83

Seems to me your asking a question you know the answer to.

Go with your gut. If you paid for the computer....or your children use the same computer, he has no right to be doing that kind of thing that children have access to.

bmp159

yes on line dating service make a lot of money maybe he wants his own business it sounds that he might just use the dating service just to see how there business is ran and see what he can do different.

Mr nice guy 2U

wouldnt it show up on credit cards? dating sites are not free

melly1023

i hate to say this but i smell DIVORCE in your future he obviously doesnt respect you if he is doing this knowing you dont like or appreciate it id tell him to choose plain in simple its your dating service or your marriage

jadegem

If you force him to be even more sneaky, then he will, by taking away the computer that is what you're doing. If you have to go through all that then you two need a serious conversation and if the b.s. keeps up then you know what you have to do. It's all your choice. Stay or let go.

wbbdriver10

Ouch. Sounds like he's been unfaithful emotionally at least, if nothing else. Dishonesty and hiding things is wrong. You won't fix it by denying him access, but it might bring things to a head. He may just find other ways. He's breaking vows left and right. I'd force the issue. He's destroying the relationship.

jourjaune

You know he's talking to other women? You have to ask yourself if he loves you. Because he's not really respecting you especially if you've said it makes you uncomfortable. I mean how would he like it if you did that?

blonde0001-999

Take the power cord from the back of the tower! When a man hides something from you, it's because he knows it's wrong. What would he do if the shoe was on the other foot. Don't take anymore and tell him he either lets you see what he's up to or maybe it's time you both move on. It's obvious he's not thinking about you or your heart. He sounds very insensative and when he says it's his business, you tell him that when you got married everything became our business.

Vee

If you don't have trust in a relationship you may as well shoot yourself in the foot now. Why keep putting up with that behavior if all it's going to do is make you miserable. You deserve so much better.

MR R SOLE

give him the boot.

shaynaw20

I don't know if you should deny him access, but I think it's wrong of him to do what he's doing. He's committed to you. He shouldn't be talking to other women (in that way). And if he has a family, I don't think he should be starting up a dating service either. Not unless maybe he's just the owner or something. If he's not hiding anything, then I think he should have no problem including you in what is going on. He's just giving you reasons not to trust him....

bubbleskey

Why are you staying in a marriage that has no trust? You either need to get honest with each other or find a better man.

KAZ

I think you need to make a decision. Take the computer away, and live knowing that he could be doing who knows what when, and accept it, or talk it out with him, making plans on ending it if it continues. Either way it's not an easy decision, but you can't live like that. So start figuring out what you would live with and wouldn't live with and making plans on what to do.

stillmyself

divorce him...leave him....he doesnt deserve u

free_angel

If he wants to be with other woman, taking away his computer is not going to stop him. Neither is being married. He wants to act like a single man I would be letting him know I can make that happen for him. I would personally make it my business to make that happen. Dare me?

redsgirl

If you know for a fact that he is talking to other women, then I would suggest divorce. I know that can be hard to hear, but if he doesn't respect you enough to be faithful, then it may be time to hit the bricks.

sixkids_mommy

You are a better woman than I am. My husband knows that I demand access to his computer passwords. If he was talking online to other women in a dating service, I'd wait until he left for work and change the locks! I know you can put software in place that will make it impossible to use the computer without a master password. You might want to think about getting some. Good luck:)

ari

So is the question....If there is no trust then why bother?

intelligentaphrodite

If you don't trust him, you don't have a relationship
GET OUT NOW!

jamaican_ladii

it shows that you guys are having trust issues and since you know that he's seeing other women why are you still with him

tallandready2u

If you are truely distrustful, there is software you can get to check on where he's gone internet wise, and will also track your keystrokes on the computer so you can learn sign on ID's and passwords. My husband uses it to check on his kids.

allindatp

no, I was doing something similar to that till my girlfriend started checking who I was sending messages too. And made me stop cuz she meant more to me then anyone I was talking to on the web.

omadkj69

you have big problem see a marriage counselor or kick him to the curb

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