Would this just be asking for another arguement?
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Would this just be asking for another arguement?
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SORRY SO LONG. I APPRECIATE ALL OPINIONS!
My boyfriend and I are planning on moving BACK in together, this weekend. The only thing we ever fight about, is how I don't trust him because of lies I was told in the first few months of our relationship. It is never about him cheating or anything. I have total trust there. But I don't trust him to tell me if he relapses. He was a heavy heroin user, he also abused methadone and promethazine. Lately, he has been acting sneaky. Also has been recieving many calls from old friends, who currently are still heavy into drugs. We had a huge fight last night, when I was leaving for work because an old friend/use called him on his BRAND NEW cell phone number..? Anyway, that was at about 10:00pm, at midnight, he was sleeping. And is STILL SLEEPING! 24 HOURS LATER!! This is a huuuuge sign to me that he is using. I asked him to take a drug test for me about a month ago, but he flat out refused. We fought, and I didn't bring it up again. No matter the outcome, I will stay with him, I just need to know whats going on. I want to ask him again tomorrow to take a test. I really need some sort of answer. If he refuses, I might end our relationship. It's so hard, on the heart, to deal with. I don't know. I know I have every reason not to trust him, and I do not feel in the wrong for that. But is it wrong to ask him again, to take a test, because "I need an answer."
Thank you for taking the time to read this!! And I am posting this in marriage and divorce because, we are in a serious relationship ;)
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Myth_Understood
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No, hon, you're not wrong. You do need an answer, but he has already given you one. By not taking the test, THAT is his answer. He is telling you, "Screw you. You don't matter enough that I will prove my trustworthiness by taking a drug test for you."
For that reason alone, I need to ask you the obvious: WHY ... by all that is holy ... why are you making such a colossal mistake as moving back in with him?
He just got a brand new cel phone number, and an old user buddy is already calling him ?? Helloooo ! He might as well ask you to load the hit while he finds a vein, ok? Come ON !!
If you were in a serious relationship, HE would be taking it as seriously as YOU are hon. You are ready to be a wife, but he clearly isn't ready to be a husband (which is what a serious relationship is ... you ARE getting married, aren't you??)
The reason why it's hard on your heart to deal with is because your heart knows that you need to ignore it, and use your HEAD this time, ok?
Please trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about: Do not take anything he says or does seriously unless and until he goes for 12 straight months or clean drug tests. People who are trustworthy will bend over to prove that they are. If he has nothing to hide, why not take the test?
Tell him that you're not moving in, and that if he wants you to be a part of his life at all, the price of admission is a drug test, whenever you feel like it, for a year.
Your mind set of " ... no matter the outcome, I will stay with him" is a one way street to nothing but heartache. You can't live with a druggie and expect to have a peaceful happy life, hon.
I'm begging you ... don't do this. |
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Chrys
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whats going on is neither of you is acting like a grownup. how about you leave Mr Drugs to do his thing and you move out to your own place and find someone you can actually have a relationship with..... |
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salsa
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I wouldn't move in with him until you are sure he isn't using again because it's going to affect your life. You will probably end up paying for everything and be stuck with a lease on your own if things don't work out. I would demand a drug test from him. Trust your instincts if you feel he is using you are probably spot on. Tell him you will stick by him but only if you get the truth from him otherwise tell him you are moving on as this is not the life you want and it is not fair on you. Look after yourself hon. |
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thugzy
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i like the way u answer ; ) |
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eagledreams
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Without trust there is nothing worth having. |
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xAimee's Mummyx
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Stevi...you are one of my contacts and I follow your posts quite regularly. You absolutely must be assertive and find out if he is still using as you are planning on bringing a baby into this world to a man who might have a lifetime heroin addiction. I think deep down, you do believe that he is using again. You deserve to know the truth. You must ask him outright and if you think he is lying then leave him hunni. That is the only way to find out if he truly loves you and if you loves you enough to stay clean. Good luck xxxxxx |
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No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
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