Would u keep trying....or divorce?

well i've been with my husband about 4 yrs...we have a little girl..but one thing bothers the s*** out of me is that he gets so jealous over nothing...i want to get see my friends he makes up any excuse for me not too go...when confronted he states...its not u its the ppl...im thinking but don't u trust me? he always says yes but actions speak louder than words...he says he's not going to change that's the way he is i knew it when i married him...well actually i'm hoping that if i push no...i mean motivate him enough by threatening to leave he'll get the picture...opinions
Additional Details
ok well thanks everyone for ur opinions...i try to understand him i think it has to do more with his dad because that's the way he had been but he saw the way she was treated & even defended her...so he knows where it can go...and the only friends i would hang out with have kids...just like i do well one's preggoo... :) but i find myself wondering what more can i do....

Queen of Denial

He sounds insecure and controlling. Get some couples counseling and try to find out why he's acting this way. He needs to learn to Communicate with You, not just "order" you not to do something. If he was that way when you married him, you need to realize he might not change and you may have to make some painful decisions.

Zoe

maybe go to couple's therapy but if your husband continues to act the way he is then maybe get a divorce.

Headin South

If you threaten to leave, and don't then he'll eventually get used to the idea that you keep saying it and he won't care because he knows you'll never leave. Maybe you should try a trial separation. I wouldn't suggest divorce immediately because a child is involved...but try to be apart. Or ask him to go out with your friends and see if that changes his mind.

Tracy H

It depends on the friends you are keeping and the activities with those friends you are partaking in. I'm a firm believer that marriage and single friends and bars are a toxic mix. If you were more content at home you would not feel the need to spend so much time with your friends. It is one thing to want to take a break from your daughter to have your time and go shopping with a girlfriend or go out to lunch. Quite another if it is going out for drinks at a bar. Maybe the two of you should find a sitter and have a date nights instead. You get a break and get to be with the one you love. Threatening to leave will only validate his feelings of jealousy, it will be taken more as a means of wanting to be with someone else, rather than a back off a bit situation, plus costly and just not good for you or him in spirit.

bccowboy

go get the book 40 day love dare and then tell me how you feel....If you build it they will come....and go rent the Movie FIREPROOF...it'll change your life I promise.

Say it Like it Is :)

Sounds like he is insecure. Sometimes that hints that he may be the one having the affair.

redhead27

There is obviously more to this story than you wrote...

Does he have a reason to have a problem with the people you hang around? Seriously...

motivation through a threat will NEVER work... in fact that will only DESTROY your marriage.

you should never never never make threats if you don't mean it, in fact you should never threaten period.

your entitled to your life and friends, he can tell you who to be friends with. you have to be you, and he knew that when HE married you. if he trusts you, he should have no problem who you hang out with. if it starts to be an unbalance, taking up all your time, that could be a source of justifiable complaint, but to be jealous of friendships? thats a sign of lack of trust and insecurity.

China Doll 3

Probably not, trust is everything in a marriage.

unsung hero

Well, if you knew he was this way and you agreed to marrying him, perhaps you need your head checked.

Obviously your behavior say's you're not trust worthy, so perhaps you should evaluate who you're hanging with (ex bf's, drug and alcohol abusers, club hoppers etc) and see if they are an untrusting bunch. If it upsets your husband this much, you should realise that maybe this behavior of yours needs to stop, and you need to compromise, not 100% your way or divorice.

You should be able to see friends, but youn really need to see why he's so uncomfortable.

Shannon

Demands (threats) absolutely destroy love. Sure fire path to divorce.

You need honest sharing of feelings and negotiation. You /have to know/ why this bothers him so much. Drag it out of him.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: