Would you consider having an open relationship with your spouse to be healthy?

tannedknight45

It might sound good to some on paper, but I feel like you are opening Pandora's box here. First of all you could hurt your spouse. Secondly you can hurt someone in an open relationship. Then think about the families, children, etc that are tied to everyone, it could get ugly.

Blue T

No - it is a stepping stone to a divorce.

suz

If you really love someone how can someone else be a substitute.
If my husband went away, waiting for him to return would be painful enough but to see him return would be unreal.
If you can see someone else whilst you're in a relationship then you are not focused on who you are supposed to love?
Work out your issues first then sort out other relationships dont have other relationships in the midst of all this confusion.
You mentioned your kids too? They need stability and will notice if something isn't right.

Believe me i come from a family of Twenty Five kids. My dad is married and couldnt work out his issues so had "open-relationships". The mess is still being sorted out over 30 years later and it's us kids who have to deal with it and sort it out! We all know each other and the message is clear form all the children "why did we have to be born into this?"

He still lives with his wife and my mom is single and it has had an effect on all of us not just the "adults!"

i know you may have needs but if you are going else where for satisfaction you may as well leave for good or sort things out! For your sake as well as your kids and your partner too.

Rosemary M

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY GET MARRIED AT ALL. WHEN
YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT YOU NEED TO STICK WITH IT AND
IF THERE IS PROBLEMS THEY NEED TO BE WORKED
OUT AND DO NOT GIVE UP UNTIL THEY ARE RESOLVED. BESIDES WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARE
TOGETHER THEY SHOULD ONLY BE WITH THEIR
SPOUSE AND NOT SOMEONE ELSE. THAT IS
STEPPING OUT OF THE BOUNDARY LINES........

Lindsey

If you have an open relationship how is the relationship you have with each other special anymore. Why would you even want to be married? What would the purpose be? What would be so significant about what you have together when the most important thing in marriage is shared with everyone else? Why would you not care to open each other up to std's out there and risk one anothers lives? Where is the safety and security in a committed relationship when you open each other up to lose the relationship to other people. What if one of you fall for another person because they feel better with someone else. You may not think that you are cheating anything here or risking anything but you are! When you cross that line you are leaving everything open for anything to happen......and what could be the worse is that everything is lost that was meant to be sacred.

Tyra99

No. What is the point in being married? Stay single and do whatever with whoever. Nobody gets hurt that way.

Passion Party Diva!

Why would you put yourself thru that kind of emotional beating? If he cheated and doesn't love you as much as you love him, he isn't worth it! Why would you lower yourself to please him, he will just continue to walk all over you. Girl, take a look in the mirror and give yourself some credit. Work on your self esteem, you don't need to love someone who can't love you back!
Life does go on.

Guy

dumb idea. if he can't keep his wang in his pants for his kids, then they don't need him as a dad.

sara

no. don't be stupid. you obviously don't love each other. why risk disease and pregnancy for that? find someone who loves you and will respect you. we all make mistakes, and they can be forgiven, but he doesn't seem to have learned from it and neither have you. save yourself even more heartache and move on. pack his stuff while he is gone and see a lawyer. good luck.

Peanut

Dear Depressed in VA,

There seems to be a consensus here that it is an invitation to trouble in a big way.

I just wonder why anyone would get into a marriage when what they really wanted was to play the field?

Marriage is not "open." Sounds like an oxymoron term to me. Marriage is a closed, extremely exclusive (only two allowed), and blessed union. Don't try to reinvent the wheel, kid. :)

lsp

no that would be the eventual death of any relationship.couples who do this aren't really in love

Tiss

That would just make an unhealthy relationship even more unhealthy.

kathyw

Open marriages fail, that's just the way it is. Not only do studies show that it doesn't help a marriage to be open (dating other people), but I have watched marriages like that fail - because one of the parties met someone they wanted to 'really marry'.
That's different from the couples who go their separate ways, soured on marriage and decide never to see each other again because they just don't want to bother to get a divorce. Even that sometimes ends up being a silly solution when one partner has to seek the other person out just so they can 'really marry' a new partner - after divorce, of course!

mrsurgtech09

THAT REALLY DEFEATS THE POINT OF BEING MARRIED I'M NOT JUDGING BUT WHY TAKE THE VOWS ONLY TO GO AGAINST THEM ON PURPOSE. THAT'S NOT AN OPEN MARRIAGE THAT'S UNHEALTHY AND UNHAPPY AND PERSONALLY AIDS IS TO MUCH FOR ME. LOVE YOURSELF MORE THEN ANYONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT WANTS THE OPEN RELATIONSHIP MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY CAUSE IT'S SEEMS THAT YOU AREN'T EITHER WAY..........GOOD LUCK

angc2002

NO! I would not consider having an open relationship . I feel that if you or him wanted that why on earth get married. I do not think that is right marriage is a special gift that we should treasure and that treasure is the person that you are with that will be there for you no matter what happens.

heartbroken_butdetermined

no, a marriage is between 2 people only. seeing other people brings a crowd in, and crowded rooms never work

naughty lady

Find what thrills you, and go for it.
Let him go, and love you!

sweetmma4890

That is definitely a no no. Marriage is hard enough with only two people, add more into the mix, and you'll get burned. If you are going to do it, why be married?

Michelle. S.M.A

yeah its called being swingers.

twinkle2twinkle

and your staying with him for the wrong reasons, even if you think its right the kids are the ones that will end up being kids are smart and they pick up more than you know they will want to know why their parents are seeing other people and they will find out unless they are very young.

ravonne2001

no nasty

Phoebe

Oh, bless your heart. If you agree to an open marriage, you are in for a huge heartbreak. Honestly, you need to get tough, and I mean real tough. It's going to be hard, but I would lay down the law and tell him absolutely not will there be a third party in this marriage. You seem like a very nice person and you d@mn sure don't need to play second to anyone. I would rather be by myself than to be with someone who has been or wants to be with someone else (just my opinion).

Dr. Dani

Someone always ends up hurt in the end!!

momalleyray

i don't think that is a good thing myself you lose respect for one another if you have a love set in stone them maybe to each is there own but that's how lover's lose one another so think about how much you love one another before you go there there are alot of toy's out there go get some

treasuredwife69

I do not believe cheating, even in open marriages, could ever be considered healthy. If a couple put other people into their marriage, to many things could happen. Falling in love with someone else, children, STD's. If a couple love one another, they would never want to see them love other people. Being single gives you that freedom, without hurting someone.

henryredwons

it is the responsibility of the husband and wife to fill that need in each outer not outside intruders

Go GO Ressa

If he cheated while he was with you, then he is just a cheater anyway. Why are you gonna lower your standards just to keep this man around. Have you thought about the deceases that's out there. Please don't come with you all will wear protection. If he cheated on you and probably is at this present moment, then he will lie about protection and anything else. Why are you allowing your kids to see, that this is the behavior of married people? You will do anything to keep this lying cheat in your life and I think that is sad. I mean really it's sad. It's sad that you don't think that much of yourself and you like being his doormat. His problem with being a man have nothing to do with you. Gosh I don't want to even finish my thoughts. Bless you and heaven help the kids.

Nothing but the truth...!!

I personally would not be able to handle it. The thought of being with someone other than my hubby does not sound at all appealing. And I would not be able to see him with someone else. I think it is just asking for problems.

brannora623

Staying married 'for the kids' doesn't work. If you two are no longer willing to maintain your marriage, it's over. Try counseling and if that doesn't work, it's divorce time.

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