Would you feel upset if your spouse came home hours late every night without calling to tell you where they r

John V

hell ya- she can at least tell me or id divorce her

Frenchafied

Absolutely, where is the respect. If your spouse is doing this, then you have big problems.

ReCkLeSs&fReE

tell him that its not good enough and you just need to know a time, so you can stop worrying... i think something is up because a caring guy wouldnt put you through that EVERY night.

bobb_cobb

That just means that they are up to something shady. Probably cheating on you.

Ask_Elvis

Of course ma'am!

ramni222

yes!

one time here or there no problem.

failure to communicate would tend to indicate a certain level of disrespect.

consistent late arrival would tend to indicate she might have obligations elsewhere.

lost in thought

I would definitely be upset...give him crap!!! That's not right.

Emily Dew

Yes, I'd be upset at first ... but after I got a lawyer and kicked him out, I'd be feeling a lot better!

j t

I know how you feel cause I was in similar position and later HE TOTALLY treated me INVISIBLE. Feeling sad is definitely understandable. I have past through that stage and guess what, I am still the stupid mule that hope it will change for the better even after going through sadness nearly 17 years

I hope you have it better.

Jane Marple

Yes I would be upset......but I would not sit and wait for him. I would go to a movie or go shop to release the pressure cause waiting home for him would just drive me crazy!

Wayne

How about late at night decides they have to go to the store, and when they finally come home, they bought nothing?

Evan

I would ditch the bitc#.

wilson

Yes you should be irate about this. Love is trust but if someone doesn't even want to earn that trust then that isn't love. It seems like there is love but only on your behalf.

idontknow17

yes! i would be very suspicious.. try asking him/her about it..

whereRyou?

I sure wouldn't keep waiting for him. I would not feel respected, loved or important. I would get a life. Obviously he has -- and it isn't with you. Sit him down and find out if he wants to be married or not. If he does than you need to agree on some ground rules regarding how you treat someone you love. You don't treat your best friend like this. Most people wouldn't even treat total strangers like this. He needs to get his priorities straight. If he doesn't, then find something to do other than him. I would let him see how it feels. He is being a selfish ***.

roxiecat4200

Yes, I would be very angry and suspicious.

endo_chic

I would be more than upset!!! I would be furious the first time it happened and if it was a continual thing, something would definantely have to be done about it.

It's not fair for you to sit at home wondering where your spouse is, what they are doing, and with whom they are doing it.

I certainly would not be sitting at home stewing over where they are day after day. However, I would be DAMN SURE that they were the one sitting at home wondering where I was a night or two....what's good for the goose, is good for the gander!!!

Ducci

Yes it does upset me. My spouse does it often also.

teaparty

Yes, I would be upset. S/he is not respecting you. I don't want to put ideas in your head but if s/he can't call and shuts off his/her phone it sounds like they are doing something they should not be doing.

andrespb22

I HAVE ONLY ONE WORD FOR YOU AND BELIEVE ITS TRUE BECAUSE OF WHAT I'VE SEEN BEFORE, "CHEATER" ,FOR SURE.

Eos

His behavior is probably a symptom of something bigger. I can't tell you exactly what it is; he could have a drinking problem, be afraid of intimacy, holding a second job, be a workaholic or having an affair. It could any of a number of things.

You have to ask yourself what you want out of this marriage. He obviously isn't meeting your needs. Is he willing to work towards meeting your needs in this relationship? If not, is the relationship worth it for you?

These are hard questions. Ask yourself what you want. You deserve the best of life and love.

Kaldarash

Yes, I would be, and I would wonder why they would not call, or say they couldn't call. You should always make time for your significant other, especially if it is to have them not worry.

oh mama

In a perfect world the mate would realize what a simple and easy thing it was to just be honest. Showing respect to your mate should not have to be rocket science. Tell him to get a stinkin clue!!! Try it on him.

ally'smom

i think it's unacceptable. I strongly believe in personal freedom in a relationship. I think it's disrespectful not to tell your hubby/wife where you are when you'll be home. My hubby and i both do things and go out ever party separately we keep our cell on we let the other know where we are.

bigmel

Definitely! It sounds suspicious and sneaky all around. If they didn't have something to hide then they would answer your calls and tell you where they've been. I hate to say it, but a marriage where this is going on is in trouble.

Since you asked....

Yes I would be very upset. Its a respect thing. I am not tripping that you are coming home late, I am tripping that you arent calling me telling me so. First thing I would be thinking is if something bad happen to him. Plus, how would he feel if you did that to him.

ramesh

if it is once or twice then it is fine. acceptable. I would try to explain to her and say please call if you are going to be late. there cannot be an excuse daily.

Red Sox Luver 33

DEFINATELY!! Girl do something and tell him how you feel this might help

psycho magnet

I have never done that to a spouse or gf and never will. If GF did that to me, all her shtuff would be waiting out in the yard for her to pick up, I would not even put it in trash bags.

Amber P

Yes. I'd be LIVID!!!!!!

datasprite

this has happened with me so many times, and i have just been busy with work. so busy that i have not been to the loo or called anyplace or anyone........ just work work and work.

so why should she get hassled that i did not call, and it is not indecent to be caught up in work. not making the phone call does not mean that i did not think about her, but i did and again got swamped by some work or the other.

imagine i come home after a 15 hour day and all i get is a welcome screaming about not calling home ! not caring etc. and all along all that i have been doing is working hard.

so what do you say about this ?

it will be good if you sat and talked it with your man, and not get excited about the situation. ask, don't demand the phone call. don't pass judgment on him if he just at work.

try a different tack - make his favorite food and wait up for him, don't complain ever, make love to him and take good care and see what happens .......... in a few weeks he will change by himself, just have some patience.

and a request to womankind ...... please open the lines of communication !!

vikram31

Wow datasprite. REally useful message. Makes sense. I have a unique problem though..my wife tells me where she is going. She likes to sit with friends late at night playing the guitar or chit chatting and sometimes keeps doing that till the wee hours. Most of the times I know where she is but she doesnt let me know when she comes back. Also she doesnt adhere to some basic time limits and I am very uncomfortable if she is returning at 3 or 4 am in the morning. Any discussions to help her change have gone futile. Now I am deciding to take a break by letting her go away leaving the daughter with me. What do u guys suggest?

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