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sunbun
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nope, I would never give a 2nd chance...i would be long gone
adios mi amigo |
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RACHEL B
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no, you gave it your best shot and it didn't work. if you hadn't have tried then you'd have always been wondering would it have worked. |
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lisa baby...
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you know, your going to get alot of answers that are against what i believe, and im going to tell you why.
I am a female, reformed cheater....i say reformed bc its something i did to my husband and once i realized how bad i hurt him..i stoped what i was doing and have NEVER done it again..nor have i been tempeted...PEOPLE can and do change...i love my husband and NEVER want to make him feel that humiliation and sadness again...and i worked really really hard, gaining his trust... i dont keep secrets, i dont lie..and im an open book. BC he seen these changes take place within ME...he decided to give me another chance..and i know he would say hes happy he did. Weve had hard times since..and trust is still an issue...but with hard work and a sincere heart...SHE can change.....
she has to know what she did to you, and be willing to do whatever its going to take to start to build trust again...
one step at a time...
Best of luck.. |
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jake
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Ok. Confess. You have met someone else, right? |
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Sagira Tadashi
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No. If you don't like her then you don't like her. Why would you want to stay in a dead-end relationship? If it's not going anywhere then leave. It doesn't matter if she cheated or not you just don't like her like that anymore. It would have happened either way...... |
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cowboy573jon
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The relationship can never be the same again. I'd never stay with someone that cheated on me and i never go back to an old girlfriend. There was problems for her to cheat/breakup on you, And sadly there still be there. Hope you can move on. |
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Michael C
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nobody who hasn't dealt with the experience can tell you anything. almost 100% of all people (married or not) would tell you they would leave. The fact is over 50% of people who experience that stay and give it a chance. Over 80% of them stay together provided thay can talk about it and work through it.
That being said....
My wife of 10 years at the time had a brief affair. I take some responsibility for it now because the truth is I wasn't really happy and I was actively looking for something which in turn made her feel I wasn't into her anymore. Can you look back at yourself and honestly say you didn't have a part in the affair? I'm sure you didn't put her in bed with someone else just as I didn't but did you create an environment that made it possible?
It's been seven years and there are times I get really down about it and it's not easy. My mother in law told me at the time that it will never go away...it will get less frequent but it will always be there. Seven years later I can say she was 100% right...it still hasn't gone away.
I was with her for 13 years at that point and we had 3 kids and a lot of history. Prior to that I would have said with 100% conviction that I would leave and never look back but I was wrong. You can't know until it happens to you what you would do. You need to decide if you love her...does she really love you? Do you love her enough to move past what happened? In my opinion, if we had no kids and weren't married I think it would have gone differently but I can't say for sure because I loved her before we were married. |
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Me xx
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I think one year later is an ideal time to have made up your mind - you have seen the last four seasons through with her and now you know how you feel. |
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Bom Chicka Wa Wa
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it seems like its hard for you to trust her again and unless you can forget then no. just explain the way you feel and tell her that you cant be with her, or maybe a break would let you know how you really feel and maybe you can start again? |
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Ammo
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It wouldn't be unfair you tried to make it work but you can't - you need to look at yourself and make sure you are happy - you gotta do what you gotta do hun |
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4dayweeker
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even if its 10 years on,you will never trust her.shows how much she thinks about you. it will always be in the back of your mind.get rid!!! |
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petal
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you obviostly didnt mind or you wouldnt be with her a year later yes that would be unfair to leave now coz that. you should have done it last year |
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spencerm
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i don't think that is unfare u need love in a relationship if it's not there get on with your life |
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Evieluck
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The first time my husband cheated on me I gave him a second chance,the second time I gave him divorce papers.Once a cheat always a cheat.Don't do it she'll only hurt you again and if the love isn't the same,you're not being fair to yourself.Move on and find a new girl. |
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Sesoid
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Its very difficult to overcome something like that, and I can tell you that because I've been there. You're absolutely right, things are never the same after an event like that. There will always be a before and an after.
Only you can answer that question. Do you really think you can be with her and truly forgive her for what she did? Can you really forget what happened?
I'm afraid no one can answer that question, but you.
Good luck! |
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Ollie
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I think it would be unfair to her & yourself if you stay.You might end up hating her so make a clean break & good luck. |
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Walter E
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Nope. |
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Princess
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it all depends on how much u love her........... |
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<ironballs>
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nope...not at all...but if theres kids involved than..you might hae to fink twice...for the whole faimly sake..if you know what i mean... |
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Why not me
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This is something you need to go to her with. It would seem pretty selfish of you to leave her now, after forgiving her for this. If you really did forgive her. |
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teeth hoover
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You'd be quite right to leave her as the love isn't the same anymore, and no wonder. If it's still on your mind, then i don't think you'll ever be able to truely forget about what she did. I once went out with this guy years ago and went into the local petrol station late one night, to find him and the big fat woman from behind the counter going at it like the hammers of hell on the floor. I dumped him and was so angry. Once someone has cheated on you, there's no way back and things will never be the same again i don't think. My advice would be to tell her that you just can't get it out of your head and that it's too much to bear. Get rid. |
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Jessica
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Evidently you havent forgiven her. If you had you wouldnt be dwelling on this a year later....Do you think that she might do it again? You dont love her anymore because, why? maybe because you are afraid of being hurt again? If you let this rule your relationship then you are to blame as well as her for the destruction of the relationship... if you have talked to her about this situation and you still want to leave her then do what your heart says.....BUT if you havent talked to her about how you feel, then DO IT !!! he wont know how you feel unless you tell her, shes not a mind reader.....Good Luck! |
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sweettinks
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well the trust has gone and deep down you believe you can forget and for give but i never could i went back with my ex 3 times and sorry but i could not take the pain of it any more it was eating away at me. wish you the best of luck. |
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unanski
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Never ever. If it walks lik e duck, talks like a duck... |
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troy
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Without trust the relationship will never be the same. She cheated on you and the trust has gone. Maybe it's time you both moved on. |
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motobiz
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There will never be 100% trust so it wont last ,But who does nowadays |
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Pinkflower
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Its never to late to leave, if you are not happy then go and tell her that you could never get over what she did and how she has hurt you. You have tried and its not worked.
As they say a leopard never changes its spots. But then she might have so its a hard one. Do what good for you as you have tried and its obviously not working so find someone who is going to treat you right and never cheat on you.
Good luck |
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oj
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It's a much more complicated question than "would it be unfair?" Did she apologize, has she cheated again, do you guys have trust issues to be dealt with?
I think it would be "unfair" not to investigate this further, but I think it would also be unfair to both of you to continue this relationship if you cannot trust one another. |
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tkeppers
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Me being a female who was cheated on in the past, has learned that you just cannot get back what you had with that person prior to the cheating. Cheating is the ultimate betrayl of trust and once that's gone, what is the point of being in that relationship. I know it's hard, but if you are not feeling the same and are contemplating leaving the relationship, you should. Don't miss out on meeting the love of your life to stay in a relationship because you feel like you should. Also, not everyone cheats so if they cheat once, they will again. |
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farleyjackmaster
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Something inside you died when she did that, fair play for trying again but it hasn't worked. Move on and find someone else who will be loyal, you deserve it! x |
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