Would you hide a friendship from your spouse?

John

If you have to hide it than there is something to hide.
I tend to be paranoid when it comes to my wife but if I found out that she was hiding it I would be really paranoid.
Why hide it if there is nothing to worry about?
Your marriage has to come first.

abc

would you mind if your wife was friends with her past lover, and he emailed her and called her .....then your wife hid it from you?

Dennis, a man with nothing to hide, hides nothing.
Your wife will be more accepting of the truth if you tell her, than she will be when she finds out for herself. And she WILL find out. Come clean.

1st Baby<BR>Due July 15, 2

You should not hide this from your wife. Your wife is your everything, and if she doesn't like the fact that you are seeing your friend, you should stop doing it so much. Respect your wife's feelings because I don't think you would like it either when she does it to you, right? That kind of friend isn't just a friend...she wants you more than just a friend. Please, focus more on your wife.

Tikva

I don't hide anything from my boyfriend, whom I plan to marry.

If your wife will be upset, you need to 1. help her to see how the relationship is platonic and nothing to worry about or 2. forget the friend.

Do not lie to your wife. How would you feel if she lied to you about a man she had slept with and wants to continue seeing "just as a friend?" Behind your back. Because she knows you wouldn't trust her.

bic

if you are hiding it then you know it's wrong. either tell your wife or end the friendship.

OC Boarder

The fact that you have to "Hide" something from your wife should be proof enough that it probably isn't a good idea.

ABC had a good answer too.

ndnqt1966

No I wouldn't....it would be lying by omission....This woman is part of your past and you should leave her there if you love your wife....Sounds to me like you don't respect the woman that you are married to.....Why don't you tell this woman to leave you alone!!

Friends my azz! You will end up screwing one another again if you continue a "friendship"...

warrior

If you have to hide it, the relationship will look very suspicious when your wife finds out. She will never believe you are not sleeping with her again. This other woman should respect your wife enough to know you are married and back off.

Melissa.Speer

You should never hide anything from your spouse, especially someone thing like that.

If your wife found out, she would think that you were doing more than just being friends. Respect your wife's opinions and drop the friend. Surely, your wife is more important to you than a friend.

LinnÃ©a

just don't hide anything
believe me she will figure it out after a while

MRS. MAYNARD J. KEENAN

decide who and what is more important, your wife, or your friend...or is it yourself? do what you want, just be prepared for the consequences of your decision.

MithrilHawk

You need to cut of the friendship for your wife's peace of mind. Don't get stuck on what you should or shouldn't do, or what you have a right to do or whether or not she's paranoid. What you really want is a wife who trusts you. She needs to know you'll ensure she's the only woman who is close to you.

Also, from a woman's perspective, somehow sharing personal information is almost intimate. To your wife, if you're telling this woman things you are not telling your wife, it's almost like cheating already. Don't try to understand it, just accept it.

xp2c

Don't hide it from your wife. You think she was pissed when she found out you slept together, before you two were even in a relationship? Watch when she finds out you have been hiding the friendship from her. As much as you think you have all of this under control, and you don't want to sleep with her again, blah, blah. The fact is, your wife does not like it. Keeping this friend is a selfish choice above your marriage. You need to end all contact with her, and focus on your marriage.

EDWARD D

DUH.....wtf.....you and I both know you want to hit that again! Doesn`t anyone have any effin morals anymore? I could see if you weren`t married or committed. But I think castration is in order. Where`s Lorena Bobbit when you need her? lmao

daljack -a girl

No...you should never hide something like this....it'll come back to bite you in the butt.

I would try talking to my wife about this and explaining how you feel.

I would let her look at the e-mails if it made her feel more comfortable.

phoster

it isnt wise to hide anything from your spouse. it always comes out somehow and then you've destroyed the trust there. i would tell my wife you feel she is being unfair and how you feel. if she absolutely refuses to budge you have to make a choice, the friend or the wife. i definately wouldnt ever hide anything. you're just asking for real problems.

Exotic Green Eyes

The fact that you slept with her and still stay in contact with her is what's making your wife nervous. It's hard to be "just friends" when you have a history of sleeping together. Maybe in some way you still want to be with this other woman? Is this other woman married? Just be careful. If you truly love your wife, it's not worth the risk of hurting or possibly losing your wife over this. Your wife comes first, not you friend! You need to tell your friend this too and if she was a true friend, she would understand.

tickertock

I agree. my bf did this to me, and i discussed it with him. he would not want it from me, so he should not do it. BETTER LEARN ABOUT DIVORCE. CHOOSE HER OR YOUR COMMITMENTS.

Brandon

That's not smart, the temptation will always be there, anyone you slept with or dated is out of the question for hanging out. I know this from personal experience, you wouldn't want to be as paranoid as she will be if she finds you hanging out with her, even though you might not be the jealous type

firecracker

You need to be respectgul of your wife's feelings. You are married now. My husband had an old girl that was a friend start calling him a few months ago then she came all the way here and I found letters from her that said she wanted to be w him and she's waiting for him. I told him it was her or me he doesn't like me having male firends so I expect the same when I went back through phone records she had been calling him everyday several times a day and he never told me. Point is she will find out then what ? My advice it was in the past get over it and be happy w your wife and make new friends.

Denise

I would definitely tell your wife the truth. If you value honesty in your marriage then it shouldn't depend on her projected reaction to the info. She is entitled to react. To live out values isn't always easy, but keeping something a secret doesn't give you guys a chance to work through it. If you don't mind me saying, it sounds a bit self-centered not wanting to tell her because you imagine she won't like it. Marriage is about communicating your feelings and negotiating. Its times like this that can actually bring a couple closer. Also consider how you might feel if the situation were to be reversed. Good luck!

marcella l

unfortunately if you want to have a good relationship with your wife, you need to drop the friendship...sad but true...you need to be upfront with your friend, and tell her, your relationship with your wife is more important...to you...

sean s

Yeah, but if you hide your friendship from your wife then when she finds out she will REALLY be paranoid.

tHeTrUtHhUrTs!!!

IM NOT MARRIED BUT IF I WERE IN YOUR SITUATION FROM A WOMAN'S PERSPECTIVE, I WOULD TELL MY SPOUSE NO MATTER WHAT. AT THE END OF THE DAY IT'S BETTER FOR HER TO KNOW THE TRUTH THEN FOR HER TO FIND OUT ON HER OWN...SHE MAY NOT LIKE IT BUT SHE WILL RESPECT IT...TRUST ME, HONESTY AND TRUST IS ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND/OT MARRIAGE. GOOD LUCK SWEETIE.

crazylady

Well, for starters...whose friendship/relationship is the most important? That should tell you what to do right there. However, if you definitely plan on continuing the friendship with the first friend, you should most definitely tell your wife. If she finds out on her own at a later time she is only going to be more upset and you should understand how it would look to her. After all, how would you feel if you were to find out that she had a secret friendship that was one of her ex's? Just be sure to really dig deep in your heart and I'm sure you'll make the right decision.
Good luck and God Bless.

iloveduyesterday

Listen, buddy, every woman has a right to be iffy about men and "other women" no matter the issue. Ever since the beginning of time, men have made the rules, had mistresses, and beat their wives, and controlled everything, whilst she was forced to sit around, and wait to be planted with his vicious seed, have more and more babies, and be beaten within an inch of her life. Maybe you should be more considerate of your wife, my friend. I vow NEVER to let a man controll me, or hurt me EVER. Maybe this is just like how your wife feels deep inside. Let her know how you feel. She obviously loves you, and does not want to lose you. Let her in on how much she is the only one for you. Love is the most important thing, my dear. And NEVER keep anything like this from her, or anything else. She deserves to know what is going on, she is your wife, but NOT your property. Same thing goes with her, as I'm sure she knows. Don't let this one secret lead to more and more, and eventually, complete and utter heartbreak. If it happens, count yourself, just like every other man in this world, unfaithful liars, who break their loved one's hearts. I don't mean to sound like an overbearing man hater, but please, heed my advice! Good Luck!

ratkinsq

Keeping it from her will increase the chances of splitting from you wife. Take her out, then tell her or give her some flowers before telling her.

pitchingcoach

You need to end this relationship. You wouldn't approve of your wife seeing an old lover would you?

*THE BEST*

CAN YOU SAY DIVORCE..BETTER LEARN HOW TO IF YOU GO THROUGH WITH THIS!!!!!

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