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Would you marry someone for she can be a good wife/partner for life but not out of love?
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Would you marry someone for she can be a good wife/partner for life but not out of love?

My fiancee told me that he wants us to get married because he can see us being together to make a family in the future, he can see it happen as I am a high-quality human being that a lot of qualitifcations that I have and he does not have, and that he doesn't have to worry that our family will become a shithole or sth since he sees me being a good candidate for life that I won't mess up with our lives..And he also says that he doesn't believe in love and that love is a feeling and tomorrow it may gone, so he is looking into someone to married for life not for some abstract feeling like love that may gone the next minute. Should I marry him ...Is he being too realistic? or if he is wrong, why?
Additional Details
He fall in love in the past, and that was somewhat intensive love. (also his first love so he gave everything) But later he and his ex-girlfriend got a kid( he wasnt ready) so they fought and almost torn each other aparts. I guess that's where he is coming from... that he thinks love can be something really emotional and temporary and very abstract, and sometimes love turn into hatre easily. That is why he belives what is really important in a marriage is not just to come out love but more reasonable to figure whether it is worth it to spend your whole life with this person. (and that is judging from this person's charateristics and etc)


    




KD
for most of human history people married for those reasons and not for love. it comes down to can *you* marry for those reasons, and will you be happy? it's perfectly okay to marry for any reason both partners are happy with.


George
Marry now and fall in love later. A love that develops over time is a very strong love. If you think he would be a husband, marry him before he gets away. He will learn what love is.


Katrina
Sounds like he wants a marriage of convience. If you decide to marry him, don't think "oh I will be able to change his mind". He was upfront with you, so you can't stand there and be surprised or hurt later on when reality strikes you.
That's a pretty bitter pill to have to swallow!


tere
Rating
first we marry someone because we fell in love with them and together to go thru life for better or for worse. your fiancee have high expectation of you, he only wants the "better" part. and he expects you to make it work. but what if you don't meet those "dreams" of his?what do you think his reactions will be? besides, when he said that he does not believe in love, it is because he has not fallen in love yet. think about it then you can decide.


twiggy
Rating
I always thought marriage was for love. If he's looking for someone to raise his children, clean the house and be the good women, he can hire all of that with out the love. I think alot of men don't realize that a good women will only show her skills to him, because she loves and cares about him. But if he don't return that love, the skills get sloppy, and the love and caring that is not returned will cause the marriage to sour.


Grenoble
if you need to ask for others opinions then - NO don't marry him.


Rosa
No you shouldn't marry someone because he doesn't believe in love. That is ridiculous! Find someone out of love and marry them if they are the right match. Sighs.


Debbie B
Rating
I don't see the point in marring this guy, seriously. You have to analyze this.

I'll tell you a short story. A very close friend of mine married and now going through a divorce has to pay a load of money to her soon to be X because she makes much more money than him.

My input is marry for love and convenience...those two go together.


marriedandamom
A woman is an emotional creature and we need to feel loved. I would not marry someone who I knew did not believe in that. It would just be going through the motions. A warm body, cold heart = sad life for a female.
He is also confusing love with lust. Love NEVER fails - although we do not always feel that "newness" love gets deeper over time and is something sacred.
A man can not truly treasure and care for someone without loving her.
You would be miserable.


etcha sketch
Rating
I really agree with Twiggy about the sloppy wife who doesn't get back in return LOVE. Women are emotional beings. I have a marriage of convenience, BECAUSE i thought I was the one that could LEARN to love him. But, i gotta tell ya, it's just not happening. And I really do not think it will. In fact, it's all just getting worse as time goes by and I am finding it very difficult to live with myself...knowing all of this. I would NOT do it this way again...nor am I gonna continue it this way forever.


popablue
Rating
NO NO NO AND NO,


KoolKat
No, No , No. Don't do it.





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