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Krandazzo Owns YOU!
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OK i see your re-asking this question because you got answers you did not want to hear!
you wanted opinions and we gave them to you.....not everyone is going to sugarcoat and feel sorry for you and tell you what you want to hear. i surely will NOT im going to be blunt and honest.
now again you husband is in Iraq risking his life for you me and everyone else! now unlike you i will always be grateful to a man i never will meet but i appreciate his dedication to our country!.
now you need to grow up and quit acting immature just because you didn't get the answers you wanted! |
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kelannde
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No I wouldn't. I'd prefer my children see what real happiness is than to stay in a bad marriage "for the sake of the children."
Seeing your parents unhappy and fighting all the time is far more harmful than seeing your parents divorced, in my opinion. |
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ξήĢŁĭŞĦ ŗǾşξ ©® ღஐღ
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how can you not love the father of your children when he is a good man and a good father
you had children, you chose to be committed for life
seems you DONT want to love ...
why cant you wait till he is back from service and at least TRY |
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Shellguana
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My mother stayed with my father for that reason and she did not do me or my brother and sister any favors. Now I find myself in the same situation. We're on our third marriage counselor and alas, I say that I am giving it one more try.
My thoughts are do everything you can to save the marriage and after you have exhausted that, then move on. That's sort of what I am doing. Life is short, too short to be unhappy. Your children learn what love is and how relationships should be from you. Don't set a bad example. |
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Tammy S
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absolutely not, you are hurting the children worse by staying and arguing all the time or just being miserable. Children feel the tension in the air just like adults do. If you left it would be hard at first, but it would get better. Just because you are a parent doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be happy, you have to also live for yourself... |
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Alana J
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People do not think you should stay in an unhappy marriage because of kids - they think you should put more effort into your marriage and make it work! From your prior question it sounds as if you are married to a good man however the "honeymoon" stage is over. That's life and marriage! Spice it up!
P.S. Stop using your kids as an excuse. If you want to leave then admit you want to leave. Don't try and make people believe you are doing it for your kids' sake. You are just trying to justify leaving your husband. |
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o0oceanwaters
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that sort of home environment effects all family members....get a back bone a do something positive |
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dlmrgnk
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Stay if you want to be abusive to your children. The best way to raise children is in a home with two loving parents. Failing that, it is FAR, FAR better for them to grow up with two loving parents who do not live together. It is not good for them to learn that parents do not need to love each other. |
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trixxxy_23
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people and there views on life make me laugh!!! Yes children should see there parents in a happy enviornment however your NOT happy. So your showing your children that it's ok to stay unhappy and not in love with someone. Don't you think they'd be better off seeing there mom happy again? and possibly there father too? Marriages don't always work out, theres nothing wrong with that, people grow apart, want different things! Don't stay in a marriage if your miserable...you and your children deserve better than that |
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Pom Poko
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I come from a single parent family, although I have always had contact with my dad. They both made a tonne of effort. Now that I'm a little older I can see how very imcompatible they are and I'm actually thankful they aren't together, my childhood has been good, and I still have two loving parents, and they are happier like this than they would be together so, run while you can. ;-D
X |
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treekgomon
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well i've never been married, but i was with my son's father for 8yrs
and wasn't happy
at first i bared patience with him and sacrifice my happiness
for him and my son
however that did not last long
what i realized that i can't go on suffering like this and my happiness means that i could function
its been 3 yrs now and i am happy ^_^ |
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keishe83
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Some people do stay for the kids, but now more people aren't putting up with it. That's why divorce rates are so high. |
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sandra t
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i did for some years and it was the worst i ever did. it is not fair on the children.when i got out they said they would rather be happy with one parent than misserable with two. i do regret not leaving sooner but i dont regret leaving when i did. life is short dont waste it, you can still make another life for yourself and your children......... goodluck.... |
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ABC1
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I am in the very same situation, so you are not alone. Infact I could have written your question word for word.
I'm actually going to counselling, cause I can't believe I don't love my husband, and feel terrible for feeling like that. So far the counsellor has tried her best to make me realise that I am NOT a bad person even though I feel I am, and I CANNOT help how I feel towards someone, I have no control over my feelings. Seeing her is definately helping me come to terms with it.
If you can afford it I recommend going to a counsellor that does 'person centred' therapy, as this concentrates on trying to find out why you are really unhappy.
Good luck, and if you wont to know anything else just email me. |
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Dr Phil
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I would give my life for my kids so I'm sure I could handle 18 years in jail |
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lind§ay
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I agree that you are using your kids to make it seem like it's not a bad choice. Everyone simply stated that you need to put forth more effort.
You are not a worthy mother OR wife. So you might as well do your family a favor and just leave. Had i known how selfish you truely were, that wouldv'e been my first answer! |
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labdoghoss
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This is so true.....If you aren't happy no ones happy. |
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Gotcha
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I stayed in mine for five years after he had an affair. I did it because my son was only five and had just started school. I just couldn't tell them at the time that we were splitting up. I behaved very well in front of my children and made plans to leave when they were old enough, which I did. I love them so much, I would do anything to ensure their happiness. |
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ronidl76
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There's only one good thing I learned from my parent's marriage...DON'T STAY IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE, CAUSE IT REALLY DOES AFFECT THE KIDS!!! |
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Anthony
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they'll be more upset at the fact your miserable, don't listen to all these answers of "you had the kids now deal with it" they're all talking out of their rears.
i come from a broken home, never met my dad but i've met plenty violent boyfriends, the one thing that my mom did that hurt our upbringing is constantly bad mouth anything to do with our fathers - the music they liked, sayings and choice of careers etc. we were very young yet we understood that sometimes stuff just doesn't work out,
if your worried that your children will grow up to think less of you for leaving him then the answer is no, and your just causing yourself and your husband needless heartache by dragging it on... i should know, i'm in the same position as you and i find it really hard too :( ...i just wish i could follow my own advice,
i'm sure you share my problem in that i worry about my partner and what will happen to them. |
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buttrfly52
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Then stay and consider it a friendship. You CAN help not loving someone that you loved at one point (enough to marry and procreate with him)
Find those little things that you enjoyed together. Set aside one night a week with NO DISTRACTIONS. Entertain each other. Remember to thank him for the little things that he does for you every day that have come habit to you.
The kids don't need the parents to be happy if you are truely loving your kids. If you left, would you deny the kids of having a mom in the household, or a dad?
What are you so unhappy about? Are you unhappy because you see someone else that you think would make you happy, or because he does things that upset you? Are you MORE irritated with those things because you want something different for your life?
These are all things that you need to think about before tearing the family apart. Most of the time, kids will be a lot less happy and a lot more likely to take drugs and have kids if they come from divorced home. |
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angel obregon
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there are alot of reasons why some marriage didnt work out no matter how hard they try to...because sometimes love isnt enough to make the relationship work...ask yourself...how is it now? aside from being unhappy ...is your relationship really close to worse?- i mean if you think that theres no hope to make things work then... i think you better choose to break up the marriage you have..and get a life for you and for your kids..just makes sure that the kids will be able to understand it...they to understand what you are going through ...so they wont hate any of thier parents so they can understand that ...you both will be happy if you get a life separated from each other.. |
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Monica Sigstad
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i am divorced only because my ex cheated.it is best to stay marriade unless he cheats or is abusive.my ex was both,not good for my kids.my advice is get good counceling,from a pastor or get a dvd on marriage.there are a lot of books out there and dvds to watch on how to strenthen your marriage.do all you can to save your marriage and dont argue in front of the kids.i am now remarriade,we do daily bible devotions and we pray.we also attend church,that helps greatly,even if he is not willing its best for you.but both of you that would be even better. |
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yennep
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NO! children sense the vibes and this is not healthy for any one of you. If the love is gone don't stay. |
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sportsdad
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please dont stay!! I stayed for an extra 10 miserable years just for the kids. I suffered severe depression and anxiety problems. Life is way to short to not be happy. The kids will survive alot easier than you think! |
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ressie re
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Girlfriend, know that you can love him from a distance and the children is not worth the unhappiness, cause it will only cause them to be unhappy as well. They can tell when there is a problem at home. Pray and as for strength and guidance and believe in the truth. He will place the truth in front of you so you need to have your eyes open. |
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never mind
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I think its best to show children by example that it is important to take care of ourselves and that we deserve to be happy
In other words, I would leave the marriage if you have felt this way for 3 years, you can support yourself and keep it as positive as you can. |
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Vicky T Viking
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Leaving could make everyone happy. You could be happier. The ex could be happier and the kids are no longer witnessing upsetting situations / an un-secure situation / abuse / whatever.
Please you first. When you're happy, safe and secure you can please the kids better. |
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dale d
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This is the tough one. Is it harder on the children if mom and dad fight all the time. I think, yes. Mom and Dad will always be there. It does not mean they have to be under the same roof. Children can detect tension. They blame themselves for anything that they think could be thir fault. Move on. Be there for the children. Both of you. Reinforce that it is not their fault. Be there for them. |
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Campbell2726
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Poor Kids, their parents didn't know what Love is nor are they. Look around, the methods above are truly hurting our kids, they are confused about their sexuality, who to love and how. You people are putting your kids in harms way. Oh, that's right, the grass is greener on the other side. HaHaHa, |
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