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Woke Up Dead
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Based on your "tell would hurt" and "don't tell would not hurt" I would definitely not tell if it won't affect anything.
If I were in their position, I wouldn't wanna know. Forget it. Not knowing it won't affect me anyway. As long as that person is who I wanna be with. |
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SomeOnesBitch<3
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go with your gut... |
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Ruskie
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When a person truly loves you, they should hold nothing against you for your past and not judge you. Why would you lose your spouse because of something you did in your past?
I can tell my mate anything from my past and never feel threatened. When you are married that bond should be complete trust, if you don't feel that way...hmm? I wonder, where the love and trust comes into your relationship?
You should be able to say anything like that and not be afraid, especially to your spouse. |
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mark t
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let the past be the past |
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betta lover
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i would tell because if he finds out on his own
hes gonna be mad |
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Bella
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No I wouldn't tell first b/c not everything is ment to be told and second is thats putting dirt on a clean floor...if you made peace with it then it should remain closed....And no I wouldn't tell the past is the past as long as it doesn't effect me. |
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cireengineering
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I wouldn't say anything. |
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Max
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Here is what I think...if they don't ask then don't tell. If they ask then don't lie. i would only want to know if I thought that it would cause any problems in the relationship |
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paragonloki
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if it's a relationship you want to keep, tell him. I don't think you'd like it if he kept secrets from you, right? |
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k
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Your past is your past. If they love you, they should not care about what happened in your past and you should be able to share your "secrets" with them. Your spouse should accept you for who you are not who your were. :) |
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Paigeeee :)
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I don't think he needs to know.
that was in you're psat, you are with him now, so anything that happened before you shouldn't matter. so as long as you are devoted to him, everything shuold be okay:) otherwise, don't worry about it.! |
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Jewel
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Do not tell! It was before the spouse. If the behavior has not continued, why hurt this person with it? |
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sisternvirginia
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keep the past in the past, |
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Right Wing Extremist
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If you have to keep secrets from your spouse then you can never have a real relationship. And if they hold your past against you then they do not love you. The past is the past and should not matter
Linda |
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Sarah
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Love, life, blah, blah, blah it's all one big risk to do things. You can't change anything if you don't move, tell him, if he leaves you then it shows his worth. I don't know him, but regardless I would be able to tell if he asked, if I were truly confident and comfortable he would be understanding and supportive. What's past stays in the past, remember that. |
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Elizabeth
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You need to be honest with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. You should tell them honestly but assure them it is all in the past. I would want to know if I was in the spouse's position. |
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anastasia_falling
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Don't tell them :)
People are judgemental idiots. If telling him would end your relationship then there is no point in bringing it up. It doesn't change who you are now or change your relationship. :) |
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Josie826
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Is it possible for someone that knows about your wild past could tell your future husband about it? If no one knows, then I would keep it to myself. As long as you don't have a love child somewhere, a nasty STD that he could contract or have been married and divorced before, then there is no reason to tell him. We all have skeletons in our closets that we are not proud of and sometimes it is better to just leave it be and not dredge up past bad memories. |
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blondie123473
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If the person loves you then he should understand the more things you talk about the stronger your relationship will be. but its up to you |
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Mєℓissα ☮
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Well, honestly..you mentioned that this was before you met your spouse, and you put it in caps too, haha. Anyways, I think you should tell him, the biggest thing in a relationship is trusting each other. Believe me, it hurts to live with a lie than to spill the lie. If your spouse really admires you and has strong feelings for you, then it shouldn't matter, no matter how bad it is, if your spouse loves you, then your spouse shouldn't care. Don't jump into conclusions either, and don't jump into the topic so quickly, let it take it's toll. |
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ASB
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No don't tell him.
Let it remain in your heart.
Make it a point that you don't commit such a mistake again.
Be 100% truthful to your husband.
Again dont tell. I have a secret and my GF does not knows about it. nor I plan to tell. If I tell her, she will go away right now. But I am 100% dedicated to her and I love her like any thing.
So dont tell him.
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Robert B
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What makes you think your the only one with a past. Do you want to know everyone he did?
Who cares? It's the past. Live in the Now. If you feel pressed to tell him, ask yourself, "Why do I want his judgment on this?"
You are not your past, the past may have shaped your consciousness and perception of who you are now, it may have formed your character and created who you think you are now, but it is not you. You are who you are at this moment. He did not marry your past, he married you. Bury it and live for today. |
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Monica
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Your past is your past. Learn from it - but you should not have to tell all. Do you think that your partner is telling you everything? It is your life before you met your current spouse/partner. Sometimes this makes for a healthier relationship. I have not told my husband EVERYTHING about my past. Nor would I want to hear EVERYTHING about his past. Sometimes knowing TOO much can harm you as well. |
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heart o' gold
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Well...being the survivor of a wild past I have been presented with this, and I would tell. I'm not going to have some stupid secret pop up in the future and ruin a perfectly good relationship. And frankly, if he couldn't handle my wild past (which also has benefits, I am AMAZING in bed) then he shouldn't be married to me anyway. |
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Me
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It happened before they met their spouse, its the past! If I told my spouse he shouldn't be upset with with me since it happened before we met.
If I was the other person I wouldn't care since it was before we meet and he is probably shameful about it! |
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damniana
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I would just tell him that your past was a mess, explain a few of the stupid things you did- on a very basic level- and say that you really don't feel like remembering it cause it's in the past and it doesn't matter anymore.
That's what I did... |
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ayabrea_09
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Sometimes, what you don't know won't hurt you. But if you are planning to spend the rest of your life with him, he should know. By that you can also tell if he really loves you. Your past won't matter to him if he really loves you..maybe it will hurt him but he will be able to accept it afterwards.
Sooner or later, the truth will come out, it's better that it came from you rather than he hears it from other people.
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bluedoll
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yes if you do not tell him you are hurting your relationship more than if you did.. remember relationships are based on trust and if he finds out your keeping a secret or lying about your past it will hurt him... so tell him the confidence in trust is the most important |
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alex p
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Just Dont Tell Keep It unless you Cant Hold it inside Then Just tell him or her and say... wait tell me what was it u did if u slept with someone else tell them they made u like they had a gun lol |
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whisper
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I wouldn't tell them because it they really do not have a right to know and it would be my private life, not theirs. |
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