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JellybeanLOVER
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Thats a bit harsh but maybe he meant it would be a relief if you had been suffering not that you had died. Death is a tough subject to talk about.. its hard to imagine the love of your life being gone & I don't think anyone can comprehend how it feels or what their reaction will be until it actually happens. |
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Piggy
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He meant he doesn't want you to suffer. It's a good thing, in a sort of odd way. |
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VoiceofCommonSense
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If I'm reading this right, I think he meant he wouldn't want you to suffer. Hence the relief. He wasn't wishing your death. If it came down to you suffering, or dying, he would rather have you die. Sounds reasonable. |
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hurts so good
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he didn't really think his answer though did he.
maybe he has trying to say maybe if you was sick for a long time and you passed then you wouldn't be suffering anymore but it sure didn't come out that way. |
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mahalga
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You took his answer wrong. This lady had allot to deal with, and now she is at peace, hopefully with God. Death comes to all of us, but having a illness is not easy to deal with. So you took it totally wrong. |
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Im a big Girl now
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Im sure he meant is as, if you were in pain, and because hes stressed over the kids, work and upset BECAUSE your in pain, that it would be a relief to see you go because your not in any pain.
I hope anyways, but I would ask again just in case |
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♥ Jess ♥
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I think that you should talk to your husband and tell him how it made you feel and ask him to reiterate what he meant because people on yahoo answers dont know the whole conversation you had or know how your husband thinks or acts so i would say talk to your husband so you wont have to stress about it, you need communication in a healthy relationship. Im sure he didnt mean it the way it came out. A lot of us say things with good intentions but it doesnt necessarily always come out that way. |
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SuzyQ
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I think your husband is the kind of person who speaks first and thinks later. It is kind of a b.s. question, you don't really know how you are truly going to feel until you are faced with the situation. This was an off the cuff remark that he most likely regrets after realizing how it sounds. |
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London
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I think he is an extremely realistic person, pragmatic, to the point of insensitivity slightly. But I do not think that your husband doesn't care about you. I think you have to regard her context as well. Was she seriously sick indeed? How would you feel if you had the misery/burden of that on you? |
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LadyBug
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After my husband of 22 years divorced me to marry his pregnant girlfriend he told me that I wouldn't live 10 more years. My answer to him was "I don't care, as long as you die the night before I do!" That was 4 years ago. I'm waiting to see what happens!
Just sounds to me though like your hubby wouldn't want you to live and be sick. Ask him! Communicate, communicate, communicate! |
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Freedom 2009
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I think he was being honest with his answer. I don't think he means he doesn't love you, but a sick spouse can be a huge burden on the other. I would probably have my feelings hurt if I heard a response like that, but really think about the situation and how sick was your neighbor? My aunt lost her husband after caring for him through his illness. She did it because she loved him, but at the same time, relieved when he died because he did not have to suffer any longer. I truly can empathize with your feelings because I too wouldn't have taken a comment like that too well. |
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Invisigoth
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that he's not up for the level of care a terminal illness will require of him. |
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Pam R
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He probably did not just express his feeling in the right way.
When someone is overwhelmed with a lot of responsibilities, and they know that the other person is really sick and does not have a lot of time to live, even though they are saddened, it is an emotional and physical relief for them even though they would never admit it. |
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claudiasmith2001
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sounds like an unskillful way of saying that the woman was very ill and hard on everyone. was it a relief in her passing? i don't interpret it as he would be happy to lose you. i hear it as he is telling you that the same kind of situation would be really hard for him to handle. sounds like he needs you. why don't you ask him? |
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Sue B
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In a situation like he was talking about I think everyone would feel relief but also alot of grief. He just didn't say the "grief" word to sooth you. |
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LaLALALA
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No it's not mean and this is why for years I had taken care of my grandmother who had a tumor in her lung bone cancer and cervical cancer.
She got worse and worse over the years and between my child work and her I was so very tired. I didn't get much help from anybody.
When someone is sick it is a relief when they go not in a bad way at all. In a way that they are now out of their suffering and so are you basically.
Because when your taking care of a gravely ill person your suffering too right along with them. It's hard to take care of a person like that and deal with your emotions and everything at the sametime.
It's not that you don't love the person that is sick of course you love the person. But watching them get worse and worse and how mentally it drags you down when the person passes away it really is like this big weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
I think your husband wasn't being mean and I think he knows what he is talking about.
Now I'm in the same situation again this time with my grandpa with a disease and a bad heart so I'm doing it all over again.
When your taking care of an ill person it takes your life from you and mentally it kills you seriously and emotionally for that matter. It's not easy watching a person you love dye right in front of you over time.
When it's all said and done it is a relief but when someone you take care of passes it takes awhile to get used to it. It's almost like you don't know what to do with yourself it's like ok now what do I do.
It's almost like starting part of your life all over again.
I hope I make sense I'm just telling you my thoughts from my own personal life. |
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s.i.l.l.y. s.a.r.a.h
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Rude as$ |
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rosey
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no i think he didn't really think his answer through don't think that way. first look at it from his perspective he is the provider of the home so his thought goes directly to the man's situation and not himself
(your husband) really being in that situation. ur neighbor the lady was probably suffering and the man was trying hard to take care of everything.....now unless ur husband is mean and often says mean things to u now if he often says mean things to u then thats why he said what he did. |
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leslie k
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My mom has been sick for 16 years... sometimes I am glad to still have her... other times I wish she could be out of pain. If someone you love needs to live a very limited life it is not easy, I could see his view he would not want to see someone he loves in pain. My mom said she could possibly break a bone lifting a 5 pound box today... some of us find it hard to lose our independence and need others. Be happy you have a husband who loves you. |
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G U
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well, at least he's honest |
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Mainmaster
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That sounds like a really rude comment. You should talk to him ask him why he said that. Maybe there was a reason for it, or maybe it was a sarcastic statement, or joke that went bad. That or a joke you didn't understand. You just have to talk to him. |
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lewaries
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Has he always been so insensitive? If so than him saying that makes since if not than it sounds like something is bothering him. I would tell him how you feel and tell him that what he said really upset you. Hopefully he did not mean it like you took it . |
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trisha
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That is awful. you should tell him how you feel about it. becasue marriage is even in sickness and health and till death do you part. I would feel really upset if my fiancee would say something like that to me. |
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qdaddy1418
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this is where you go wrong...LEAVE HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS ALONE...what does it matter? you're not in their situation so why would a questions like that even come up? if you're questioning your love get help or try to work it out, dont ask dumb hypothetical questions that cannot be compared to your situation. |
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Sparky
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mean and harsh was his words but he was probably not meaning it that way, you need to address this issue with him or it will eat at you and make you have bad thoughts. Sorry to hear about your neighbor . |
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MICHAEL
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I guess I would be able to live with it. Look at it this way: It would be an entirely different matter if the fellow had said to you that he would be THRILLED. Get it? |
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Molly F
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As entirely insensitive, selfish, and callous...or honest and open. Either way, I can understand completely how badly his comment made you feel. It's certainly not what we expect from the person we rely on to love us unconditionally. |
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(:
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aww :[ thats mean! i think you should ask him about it |
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