Your feelings on contact from old flames when you're married?

Yes I am here!!

yes it is totally wrong. makes you look like you never got over them. even if you didnt do you want to go crawling back.

free_angel

Yes it's inappropiate. They need to respect the ex's marriage and leave that ex in the past where they belong.

Cris

You're playing with fire.

uteva713

I think if you are going out of your way to contact them for no reason then I think it is wrong. If you happen to run into them out in the world and just hi I think you ok.

Hoping he will bless me with #1

Yes, it's wrong ... in my opinion. Why would you want to do that, rather they're happily married or not. The fact is that they're married so butt out.

tmthybutts

that would b ano no xs r xs for areason that will cause many problems in a marriage in my opinion

MELISSA S

I think that it would make me insecure therefore I wouldn't contact and old flame just out of respect for my partner.

Tired of the Crap~!

YES

Allie wishes

I would not do it and I would not like if my husband did it. I don't think its necessary.

Buff

Yes, I think it is inappropriate....
the outcome can only be bad.
There is no need to project doubt or temptation into a relationship just for the sake of satisfying a selfish need.

gypsy g

So long as the contact is kept out in the open, there is no reason why old flames can't be friends. Plain and simple.

Jujubee101

It would break my heart if my husband did this to me.

Lydia

Just NO.

dolphin2253

Generally yes unless your significant other knows and approves of this contact. If he/she doesn't then it's not a good idea.

Missy

I think that it is not necessarily wrong, but it could spark some problems in the current relationships. My ex husband thought that it would be awesome to reunite with some old friends from High School.....well it went a little farther than that and he ended up hooking up with one of his old flames that was happily married (or so we all thought) and left our relationship for her. I say just let the past be the past and instead of trying to meet up with old buddies, go out and make new friends!!

Blunt

An ex-bf from 15 years ago, emails me from time to time, telling me how "unhappy" he is, how he "made a mistake" by letting me go, how he should be married to me and not her, how happt and different his life would be with me and not her etc.l etc. etc.

Blah, blah. blah.... I can read through that BS and I know all he wants is to get me on the sack. I always ignore his emails and cries for attention. I don;t care! That's his wife's problem and not mine and I'm not entretaining his BS because I'm a woman of morals and ethic standards.

Good luck

harold

It's wrong if you are doing it for a booty call.

BUBBLES

It's one thing to have their phone number or find them on myspace but if you actually hunt them down then something is wrong.... your unhappy in your own relationship or caught up in the memory of the past. Nothing wrong with a phone call or card but to take the time to actually hunt someone down is a little creep for me. I keep lightly intouch with my high school sweetheart (I am 30) on email and myspace but we have always kept in touch......

mnwomen

If they are an old flame there is a reason why. What kind of contact? An old flame of my husband contacted him to tell him about something that had happened to a mutual friend. My husbands friend did not know how to reach him. I knew all about it and had no problem. While there are reasons to contact an ex it is not appropriate if it is just to try to rekindle the flame.

King H

Only if one does so b/c they are interested or want to get back with that other person.

Tasha K

I have thought of this question myself! My first love broke up with me 12 years ago! If I see him out and about I still get butterflies! Even though I am happily married with a gorgeous daughter. I don't have feelings for my ex, but I will always love him for the friendship we had (We dated for 1 and half years, never slept together, were only 16. Old these days though!) I thought of getting in contact with him to be a friend, but why would I risk or even remotely jepodise my marriage if feelings were to arrise? I suppose it is also a chapter in your past. Why go back there? If my husband had a call from an ex flame 'to catch up' I wouldn't want him too. Ex is ex is ex, move on.

Renaisannce Man

This can be dangerous. It depends on what your true intentions are. Do you truly want to see how the person is doing with everything in the conversation remaining completely innocent. Or do you have an alterior motive because you wonder what could have been or you are having some problems.

I am married and an old flame went out her way to contact me. My wife is aware and it took some work but I had to reassure her that the conversation was innocent. I personally would not go out of my way to do this because it's just not worth the hassle, risk, temptation, or aggrevation from your partner. Every situation is different though. hope this helped.

poodle mom

yes, let them be. there is nothing wrong with remaining friends, however, just making contact many years later, when one of you, if not both, is married ... just let them be

foodieNY

I think it's wrong to do that. My husbands ex, not just girlfriend but fiance, wanted to get back into his life. I was not happy at all. These two had a very intimate past and I wouldn't have been comfortable for them to renew old acquantiances. I told him that she was his past and I'm his present and future, we should just leave it that way. If you are comfortable with the idea and that secure as a wife, then go for it. Or if you are the girlfriend, maybe you should leave well enough alone, just in case.

Ericka

I feel that we choose to be married for a reason. It shouldn't be that we choose this person for a while until we find some one else. That's the wrong way of thinking. Old flames (exe's) are exes for a reason. Our husbands/wifes should be forever, till death do they part. That is the problem in this world. This world doesn't take marriage seriously. Why, to many people, is it fun to get married and they don't give up on that idea, but it's never fun to put effort and work on their marriage. They just want to give it up cause it ain't working for them at the time? So, someone should let those feelings go and focus on who their with, and think of who they chose and who chose them to be married...............

Valerie X

Yes. Just because they were yours ONCE doesn't mean you have rights over them now. ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE MARRIED!!!! Marriage trumps ALL other relationships.

Never do to someone what you would not like being done to you.

Rick46

It is inappropriate unless there are children or some unusual situation they should know about.

Thaddeus E

Well if the partner is secure and trustful it would not be a problem. As long as it is Platonic.

Lila

Absolutely inappropriate. My feeling about it is they possibly want to start up the relationship again and want o find out how "happy" the ex is. If they just want to say "Hi", they can to that the the High School reunion.

ionwheels03

~~*~~ I think it has a lot to do with the way the relationship was. If it ended because it just didn't work then there should be no harm. If it was more serious, then it would be less appropriate. Since all relationships are different, it's difficult to say if it is always ok or not. However, if your spouse has a problem with it, sever contact because the spouses feelings need to come first. They are the here and now and the chance for any relationship with the ex has passed by this point! That's just how I see it.

dijim1

I have had recent contact with one of my ex's, his sister was my best friend, before during and after our break up... we tried to remain friends, but there was too much painful stuff and we were both very young, in our early 20's and were still exploring life. I have spoke to him once or twice but just to tell him things about his own family, they had a falling out. eventually so did I. I moved on, so did he and i'm sure he's happy for me as I am for him. Let the past be just that. Get over your issues and move on from there.

Loupdreams

Well I aloud my husband to contact an ex and she continually calls him, I felt sorry for her she had cancer. But she continues to call and has even told him she wanted them to start back where they left off ! I just found this out from him I really don't know how long it has been since she told him that, but I know when I'm around he doesn't answer his phone. Now whether he does when I'm not around I don't know. I don't feel like he wants to be with her he said he told her he was married now and she knows this because she has met me.

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