Your opinion on forgive and forget.?

star69

You forgive, you try and forget, but something between you is changed forever on both sides. Once a hurt is forgiven, it is more likely they will do it again because they know they can, they lose respect for you and feel more powerful in the relationship. That in turn makes further abuse more likely and so it spirals. When you forgive you have buried resentment. You havent been able to express your anger you've had to swallow it. You cant forget and it eats at you. Also you know you have lost respect and you are now the less powerful one in the relationship. It makes you feel different about yourself. It makes you think you are worth less than you thought before.
Unless it is really really important, dont ever forgive and forget before making that person feel about 1 inch high, and they know for sure that next time you'll kick their sorry butt into next week if they mess up again.

Silenceâ„¢

You have to forgive or that person has "power" over your mind.

J-main

no one ever forgets. Forgiving is possible...but after time. And it depends on what the discretion was. But no one forgets.

Katrina

You can never truly forget because if they hurt you, you will probablly remember....so try to forgive

Gaspode

Forgive if you can, for your own peace of mind.

Never forget. If you do then the experience may be repeated.

Helicreature

I was taught:

The first time you forgive and forget.
The second time you forgive.
The third time you do neither.

MoMagic

Forgiveness is about respect, honor and integrity. If you have these 3 virtues for yourself and the other person... forgiveness and forgetting is a reality.

However, if any are lacking or missing you will have a hard time following through with either one or both.

Theresa T

You do forgive but it is still hard to forget especially if it is a painful issue.

Lioness

I can forgive, but I don't forget. "Forgetting" (who really forgets, hm?) sets me up to repeat the situation all over again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Emily Hobhouse

Is it possible to "forgive and forget"? Isn't that how we learn from experiences - by not forgetting?
I do believe in second chances - but there's no way I'm going to forget what happened. I have to learn to trust again.

tinkerbell

I can eventually forgive but i can't forget.

Just me

You have to forgive or than anger, the hurt will just eat away at you. You don't have to forget but don't beat up a dead horse either --if the person is sorry and admitted there mistake, they learned there lesson. Don't bring it up on every fight, otherwise they will regret telling you the truth - and that can cause for more trouble.

rjsr45

I always forgive and never forget.

michelle s

it all depends on what it is.
i could forgive but you never would truly forget about whatever it is.

skuleathome

To forgive you need to be able to put yourself in that person's shoes and realise that we all make mistakes. Unless you yourself are perfect then forgiveness is fairly easily achievable (depending on the extent of the damage of course).

If you manage to forget about it then not only does that probably mean it didn't hurt you as much as you thought but also that you run the risk of not learning a valuable lesson.

It's perfectly natural to forgive but not forget, because otherwise you lay yourself open to the same hurt again. It doesn't mean that you hold a grudge....just that you have learnt a lesson.

to fly to be depressed

I can never forget but I can forgive
But its depends on what tho.

unschoolymomma

I will forgive, but I do have a hard time forgetting unless it is something really minor.

-rachel

Well i suppose it all depends on what was done in the first place. But if you are willing to accept that what's done is done, and want to move on and get over 'it', then you HAVE to forgive. I forgave 14 years ago but i will never forget, ever. It has only ever been brought up once in the 15 years but not in a mud slinging way. If you set your mind to forgive, you have to draw a line under it and not bring 'it' up at every opportunity - there's no point opening up old wounds. If you keep bringing it up at every argument, for example, then you haven't really forgiven. But i don't think you can ever forget, no.

â™¥B@BY~GURLâ™¥

WELL ONCE IN A BLUE MOON I MAY FORGIVE BUT I NEVER EVER FORGET

janicajayne

Depends on what it is.

pyro

I think it really depends on what they did but I think it's always better to forgive (unless what they did was really bad) but never ever forget.

DsO

well, personally, if its a small issue then i just let it go, people mess up and people learn.BUT if its something big like cheating i would never forget but would forgive eventually after being single for a while:) hope this helps!!!

HISSINSID

Forgiving is the easy part, it's forgetting that's harder!

lindachen50

It just depends on how dd hey hurt you like: if they tell one of ur important secrets then you shouldn't forgive them but if they beg and beg then ask them why did u tell my secrets . Something like that .

Piggy

That's the ideal, but I can't always seem to make it work.

Esteemless

I get really angry and have really mean thoughts but then it all eventually blows over and I forgive. IN a few years I forget.
Unless it was something drastic.

Baloneyus_Monk

Of course it depends on the situation. But forgiveness can ease your stress and worry.

Forgetting is another story. I mean "hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on ME."

old mother

I personally would look at the situation if it was a fling then you have to decide if the rest of your life together is worth throwing away for a stupid mistake i have had to move on with my husband many times not through other women but other reasons we have been together now 25 yrs since we were 14 and 15 i neither forgive nor forget i just put it down to life and the crap it throws at you the question of forgive and forget is down to are they important enough to you if not then walk away. good luck.

kateAlina

i do neither. i hold everyone accountable for their actions and do not believe in forgiveness. i may continue to interact but i remember they did it, realize they would probably do it again, and dont treat them as well or care about them as much as i did before. if it is really bad or happens too much i never talk to them again.

music~is~love

its hard. better said than done.

i can never forget. usually i forgive though. it really depends on the situation

ubu

You should forgive. And forgive again. The hard part is to forget. Do try and think of how much your forgiveness means to you. The ego will always tempt you into gong back to the hurt. It is hard , but you can do it............Resist and the ego will melt away.

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